Where Did My Snowman Go?

No, I'm pretty sure he's dead...

If you want to make a snowman...

Don't count on me!

Happy Valentines Day

FAFSA,the OC, and Other Figures.

I have been working on taxes, etc. for two days and I am living inside the proverbial shoebox of papers, receipts, and forms. So far I have filed our federal and state returns. I have completed Amanda's federal and state forms, but she needs to check them over before we file them. I have completed the FAFSA for 2008-2009, except I am waiting for Amanda to call me back and tell me how much money she has in her checking account. This is the last FAFSA I will have to file unless Alex grows up and goes to college. (This is certainly an uncertainty at this point.)
On another note of financial importance, Amanda still owes $300 for this semester. We sent them the full amount we owed, but this month a bill came showing a remaining balance of $300. So here is the explanation from student accounts. Remember the class you signed up for that has a $300 fee? The one we never billed you for? It is billed on a separate account called "Other Charges". And we always apply any payments to the 'OC' account first. So the money you sent to pay off your tuition and room and board was applied to the account your mother never knew you had. The 'OC' account is for parking fines, disciplinary fines, and other nasty things you don't want your parents to know about. (Why an engineering class falls in this 'OC' category, I don't know.) So, today I called the school to make them explain it to me. You know, why you took my money and used it to pay a bill you didn't want me to know existed. And so we agreed that they would send me a statement showing the charges, and then I would pay it. What a novel idea. You send me a bill. I pay the bill. You send me a receipt. Go figure.

Everybody Needs a Little Howdie

My Dad drove his van into a tree on Saturday. Quite by snowy road related accident. So while the ambulance crew is strapping him to the backboard, he has his great nephew (whose brother was also being hauled away for a CAT scan) call my Mom to get Howdie's phone number. Not to tell her about the accident--just to get Howdie's number. (Howdie owns a salvage yard and does all the body work on my Dad's vehicles.) My Mom is not dumb. (She raised 7 kids-most of whom learned to drive.)

"Why do you need Howdie's number?"
" We had a little accident."
"Is everyone alright?"
"Yes, we're all okay."
"How is the van?"
"Not so good."
"Okay, do you have something to write with?"
Notice the complete absence in this conversation of anything resembling a tree, 911, paramedics, blood, ambulances, hospitals, and/or suspected head injuries.

So this is the order of things: Accident, 911, Howdie.

My Dad trusts Howdie. He knows he will come and haul the van away. He will take care of his equipment, his glasses, and hopefully his tossel hat. He will call him when the van is 'ready'. He will treat him fairly. Howdie is probably in the will ahead of me.

The oddly reassuring thing about this is that it is so typical of my Dad that I know he really is okay. I don't need to see the CAT scan results.

(Love you Dad.)

100% Off The Cover Price

We got two issues of Sports Illustrated this week in the mail. Last week's issue, which typically would arrive midweek, arrived in our mailbox this Monday(the day after the Super Bowl). It looked like it had already been read. The Big Question on the cover was "Can the Giants Get to Brady?" Oh, oh!! I know this one. Something a little anticlimatic about getting the pre-Super Bowl issue the day after the game. So I'm wondering where the magazine spent the weekend. Maybe someone was leafing through it at the Post Office. Maybe a postal worker 'borrowed' it for their Super Bowl party. That's a pretty good deal. Only I think if I pay for the subscription, I should get to read it first. So here's a little secret: when the much anticipated swimsuit edition comes out this month, they will have to find someone else's copy to ogle, because I opted not to have that issue delivered at all. Like the pre-Super Bowl issue, I already know what will be in it. And I don't need that in my mailbox.
This week's SI came on Friday. Evidently, it didn't take as long to read.
Oh, and I miss Life of Reilly.

Cleaning and Scrubbing and Grown up Babies

I share these thoughts about houscleaning with Katie from the novel "True to Form" by Elizabeth Berg:

...now I'll have to scrub the toilet. And vacuum. And
dust. And the Venetian blinds will take forever....They are so boring to
do even when you have music on, and you think you'll crack up before they're done. Do the main part, okay, but then comes the dumb little ends and they all have to be dusted on both sides. Venetian blinds are
what hang in hell, and every day Satan says, "My, my, I see we have some dust again."

The High Cost of Vacation

My five days off were followed by 6 days 'on'. In the 48 hrs before I left for California I worked 24. And I have worked 52 hours in the week since I have been back. So today, on my day 'off' I am changing beds, doing laundry, cleaning the house, taking Alex to the eye doctor and Tae Kwon Do. I have several other things on my list, but I don't know if I will get much of it done. Tomorrow I work 12 hrs. I'm really not whining, just feeling like I didn't have time to revel in my trip. So here is what I wish my day was like:

Brother-in-Law Day

What happens when it rains in Southern California...

Thankfully we had scheduled Brother-in-Law day. Joe wanted to cancel because of the weather, but he rallied and found a way to entertain us with the help of his able lab assistant Tyler. (I have some good video of this egg sucking science demonstration, but once again I will need assistance to post it.)

Venice Beach

Tattoos---check!

(Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to flip this image. Just tilt your head till I can get home and fix it.) *fixed, <3stasi

Not on the list because it was beyond my wildest expectations:

11. Painting graffiti at Venice Beach

Rose Tenenhier

Maybe we need to travel more often so we get very good at it. We were waiting to board the plane listening carefully so we didn't miss the call to board. They called a few individuals and those needing assistance and first class passengers. Soon we were one of the few people not in line. The only new announcement for boarding I had heard was for Rose Tenenhier. I asked if we had missed something, but Nancy says, No, that is us. And I'm thinking I maybe didn't understand the last name, but none of us is named Rose. Nancy says, No, we are 22, and she points to our boarding passes. So slowly I see 22 is higher than 10 and we are in row 22. Rows Ten and Higher.
And then the engine wouldn't start because an valve was frozen because it was 12 degrees in Pittsburgh. So the pilot called the mechanic in Houston. Imagine that call. Houston, we have a problem. We arrived in Houston and ran the length of the airport, but missed our flight by 2 seconds. The really funny thing about this is that our luggage made the flight.

10 things we might do in CA

1. Surf lessons from the hunky beefcake

2. Buy matching sister outfits (preferably with fish)

3. Sing California dreamin' and Wish We All could be California Girls

4. Get tattoos

5. See famous people everywhere and take papparazzi pictures

6. Soak in the hot tub till our fingers wrinkle

7. Have a party with Meg and Ty's friends.

8. Carry on

9. Fight like sisters

10. Giggle till we pee our pants

Temperature Check

Today's High Mars PA 14 degrees
Today's High Huntinton Beach CA 63 degrees

Just Act Natural

Today we ventured to the Whole Foods store in Pittsburgh. We wanted to get some of those edible gluten free bread mixes. (Which up till now in our experience has been an oxymoron .) It was an extremely busy place and I could tell by the people in the parking lot that we were slightly out of place. "Act natural", I said to Alex. A certain type of person eats organic foods. They have peace sign bumper stickers on their cars. Suddenly I was aware of the polyester content of my jacket. (I was thankful I wasn't wearing fur.) We went up and down all of the aisles. We bought every bread mix on the shelf. And a couple of gluten free brownie mixes. And we bought some sweet potato and red beet chips. And an organic mango. And some frozen berries. Organic people are very kind and patient. No pushing and shoving like where I usually shop and everyone is in 'roid rage.
On the way home we stopped for lunch at McDonald's.

California Girls

And now for something completely different...
Somehow this week I managed to talk myself and two of my sisters into flying to California next week(!) to visit our other sister. This is a little out of character for all of us. Okay, this is alot out of character for some of us. It happened in one of those I'm-not-getting-any-younger moments, perhaps brought on by the fact that my last birthday that starts with a forty is tomorrow. So I am starting out my last year as a forty-something woman with the women who knew me when I was young and who are old enough themselves not to comment (out loud, to me) on how old I look.
Happy Birthday to me.

Putting on the Gloves

Me: Alex, I bought you new gloves today.
A: What do they look like? Like my sister's gloves?
Me: They are pink. And sparkly. With fake fur around the cuffs.
A: Oh, do they have hearts?
Me: You want everything.

Go-o-o-oal!!!

There was a flyer on the table for a company promising relief of back pain. Under the heading IT REALLY WORKS was this statement:

Our goal is to give our patients at least 50% pain relief within 14 days.

Alex thought that wasn't really a good goal. If he had back pain he would look for a company whose goal was to make him pain free immediately.
I like the way this kid thinks.
(Today my goal is to lose 35 pounds.)

The Fam

As per MA's request...

This is not in our living room. We do not have mounted heads on our walls.

Not that we wouldn't...just that we don't.

In a Fly's Eye

We are constantly changing the background on our computer to show the lastest, greatest photos of Claire. Today's picture was stretched to make her look deformed when it was converted to the background. After several variations we just tiled it so she appears in all of her non-distorted cuteness one time after another. Uncle Alex says,"Like she would look in a fly's eye."
Alex may not have fly eyes, but he seems to see the world differently than the rest of us.

Suspension

Blast From the Past circa 1998

Havener Family Quick Quiz*

1. There are seven days in each week. Your mother instructs you to make your bed every day. This means you do not need to do it on Tuesday.

T or F

2. You borrow your mother's hairbrush. When you are done with it you should leave it in your bedroom where she will eventually find it when she goes to see whether or not you made your bed.

T or F

3. Your mother helps you with a school assignment. You manage to get out the iron, ironing board, stapler, and encyclopedias. It is your mother's job to put these things away. After all, she offered to help.

T or F

4. You eat supper and use 1 plate, 1 glass, 1 fork and a spoon. When you are done you should leave the table as quickly as possible so the elves can come in undisturbed to clear the table.

T or F

5. Dirty clothing and towels are best left on your bedroom floor until you mother tells you to clean your room three days in a row. Mother's like to hear their own voices.

T or F

6. Clean clothes should be left in small piles on the living room floor until you are ready to wear them because clothes are more comfortable on the floor.

T or F

7. Socks are not really clothing, so no laundry rules apply to them.

T or F

8. It is 40 degrees outside and 70 degrees inside. When you go out the door in the morning you should leave the door open so it warms up outside by the time you get home.

T or F

9. If you didn't get the toys out, or if you were not the last one to play with them, then you should not pick them up, even if your mother asks you to. She is just testing you to see if you know whose responsibility it really is.

T or F

10. Clean teeth are not important if you plan to keep your mouth shut most of the day.

T or F

BONUS: Where do cotton balls go after you use them to remove nail polish?


*I first published this test 10 years ago and distributed it with number 2 pencils at the supper table.
(Dave says instead of Blast from the Past this could be called Back to the Future. PSSA testing is nothing new to our family. I've been teaching to the test for 20 years. Fortunately, you don't have to get 100% to graduate. No Child Left Behind--I can get behind that.)

Refreshed

Alex got up early today, his first day back to school after the Christmas break, to see if there was a delay. When he checked online at 4:30am there were very few delays posted, and his school was not one of them. So he got ready for school and checked back periodically to see if there were any changes. After 7am I showed him the power of the refresh button. Turns out there was indeed a 2 hour delay posted at 5:00am. I need a refresh button today. Or maybe an undo button would suffice.
The principal called me today before Alex left the house. Okay, where is that undo button?

Just Wondering

Is a hamstring injury related in any way to pulled pork?

You've Gotta Get Up

it's Christmas morning....

A Holly Jolly Good Time

Christmas dinner at our house. Gotta love that gorillapod.

Figgy Pudding-No Figs

Today we go over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house. We are wearing our festive clothes, packing the Suzuki with presents, and snow clothes, and food and drink. Alex made plum pudding. Also known as figgy pudding. Since it has neither plums nor figs, either name seems equally acceptable. (I just finished the sauce and think a more appropriate name might be heart attack pudding.) I plan to dip my finger in the sauce and give Claire a taste. Can't wait to see her. Oh, and everyone else.

The Year in Song

(To the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel)
True confessions, Resignation, Lots of prayer and restoration
Bathroom renovations, Camping on the beach

Accountability, Gratitude and humility
Family reunions, Gobs-no gluten, Lots of tea with peach

Chicken dance, Songs to sing, Manifests and tracking
Resumes, Interviews, Business meetings in canoes

Tie your shoes, Comb your hair; Do you have the dog in there?
Getting Alex out the door, I can’t take it any more…

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
Didn’t plan to do it,
But God saw us through it.

Blogspot, iPod, Control freak, Trusting God,
5K, Rainy day, Run around the block.

Movies at the Guthrie, Dinosaurs at Carnegie,
Full-time, Over-time, Work around the clock.

Mother of the Bride dress, Could I have any more stress?
Wedding days, Pirate games, Jose, Jose, Jose.

Labor and delivery, Grandma Brenda, GB.
Whimsical Tuesdays, What else do I have to say?

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
Didn’t plan to do it,
But God saw us through it.

Slovakia, Airports, Wedding plans, New York
Wedding jars, I do, Mrs. Micah Henry

Malibu honeymoon, Grove City - two rooms
Drive across the country, Quarter of a century

Student teaching, College grad, Move back in with Mom and Dad
Big Apple, All of us on a New York City Bus

Grandma’s pearls, La Maze class, Phipps bride, Chihuly Glass
Claire Marie the Fabulous, Now Jimmy’s one of us.

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
Didn’t plan to do it,
But God saw us through it.

Greg Holland, boyfriend, Yes they’re dating once again
PennDOT, Internship, Construction worker tan.

Car wreck, Bridesmaid twice, Canada was pretty nice
Junior year, Fancy House, Geneva Marching Band.

Twenty years looks like fourteen; he said so in Counseling
Drove the roller, and the paver, Her first College B.

Sister-of-the-Year award, Roadwork makes her really bored
First-time aunt, wait I can’t, make this rhyme with anything…

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
Didn’t plan to do it,
But God saw us through it.

PanoryFest, Big success, Harry Potter, DS
Swimming lessons, Tennis camp, Down the water slides

Uncle Alex, Frog rock, Shower days, Alarm clock
Camp Invention, No detention, Brother of the brides

Black Belt, Tae Kwon Do, keeping Mom on the go
Mahaffey Camp, Wildwood, Principal’s Office

Sixth Grade, Journaling, Suicide, Counseling
Paper route, We’ll find out, if ’08 can top this…

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
But when we are gone
God will still go on and on and on and on…

i robot

At work we have a new robot. At first I didn't like the thought of him, but this week I met him, and had some training and now I kinda like him. His job is to receive, and sort and centrifuge, and uncap and deliver and store tubes of blood for our chemistry analyzers. He is really a series of robotic arms. The first one is called io robot--as in input/output robot. He is encased in a plexiglass case so that he doesn't harm anyone with his gripper claw. I feel sorry for him-shut up like that. If he were my robot I would let him out more.
This is the first instrumentation that we have that is actually called a robot. I might like more robots in my life. The cleaning robot. The laundry robot. The food prep robot. The shopping robot. I have a husband to do these things, but he is not programmable.

My Dentist--My Hero

Today I got my teeth cleaned and my eyes examined. I like my hygienist, however it is difficult to have a conversation with someone who has her fingers in your mouth. Today I was fortunate that the dentist just looked. I told him I wanted him to look and tell me that I did not need to have the final two gum grafts that I have been putting off for almost a year. So he looked and told me he didn't think I needed them and he would not advise me to have them, and the gums at his eye teeth may have more recession than mine and he certainly wasn't going to have them grafted. So a great big YEAH!! to that. Also, I had no cavities. My dentist says people do not often call him their hero.
I like my eye doctor okay, but if there is a hero in my afternoon, it is the optical associate who helps me pick my frames. To no one's surprise I am a little more nearsighted than I was 2 years ago. The only joy in that is that I get to pick new frames. The sadness is that as an extremely nearsighted person (as in blind) I can't tell what I look like in the frames unless I press my nose against the mirror. Subsequently, (my best adverb usage today), I look cross-eyed in everything I try on. So I place myself at the mercy of the optical associate. She walks around the room with me, keeps me from bumping into things, hands me frames and says, "try this." I put them on, she judges. Mostly she makes a declaration and puts them back. Too heavy. Not a good color on you. Too wide. Not good. Boring. Too much bling. And the scariest of all: those make you look droopy. (AAAAAHHHHH!! Neither one of us wants to touch that pair again.) Then we narrow the hundreds of possibilites to about 4 and we try them on again. And then she tells me her favorite. They have little rhinestones(!?!) and they make me "look younger". Hah! Whatever they pay this woman is too little. She asks the other associate across the room what she thinks and she concurs. Of course, I can not see their facial features to see if they are winking at each other. I pay for my progressive lenses (a euphanism they use for whatever completes this series: bifocals, trifocals,...), order my new frames and I leave there feeling like I just got a facelift. My glasses will be in next week.

Lightly Tossed

Tonight while I was preparing dinner,(pause for effect--yes I was cooking) I tossed the potaoes in a bowl with a little oil. Then I tossed the lightly oiled potatoes all over the kitchen floor. That part wasn't in the recipe. So I was fighting off the dog, trying to scoop the potatoes back into the bowl. Then I washed them off and started with the oil again. Fortunately, those remaining in my family are not squeamish about eating dog germs, and they were so amazed that I had actually cooked supper, that they thought they were delicious. I like hanging out with people who are easily impressed.

Remember--not necessarily in this order

91. Books
92. Free public libraries
93. Memories
94. Dixie
95. Google
96. Christmas music
97. discipline
98. Dentists
99. Milk
100. knitting

Also, not all inclusive. Got a list of things to do today. Going to get started soon as I am done here. Going to start by cleaning the bathroom. This is a chore I don't usually even put on a list, because I don't want to do it that bad. Today I will be the responsible adult who lives here and clean. I will put on Christmas music and dance and sing while I do it. Dixie will not tell anyone. She will not be embarrassed to know me. That's why she made the list. Got to get the list done before 2:00 so I can pick Alex up from school and take him to the dentist. In between cleaning the bathroom and the dentist, I hope to have some brighter moments. Bring on the music.

Count your Blessings

81. Shampoo and conditioner in one bottle
82. Blow dryers
83. Tree frogs
84. Quail
85. Manna
86. miracles
87. Rainbows
88. Rain
89. Snow
90. Sun tea

Not Neccessarily Glutton Free

Our Thanksgiving dinner was gluten free. No stuffing. No need for anyone to bring the rolls. No flaky pumpkin pie crust. Evidently there is not a great demand to share such a feast.

Or is it that I never succeeded in creating wonderful Thanksgiving memories that make people want to be a part of it? Sadly, it is not that I didn't try. I've hosted Thanksgivings with both of our large extended families. (Not at the same time, of course.) There was that year where everyone wore turkey hats. And what about the time I was a raving maniac spewing insults at my daughter's choice of clothing and my other daughter's choice of not a boyfriend who was getting more sleep at my house than I was that weekend. (My third daughter had already stopped coming home for the holiday.) Okay, maybe it's not the place to be.

But I'm still trying. Today I worked daylight and Dave cooked the turkey. This is certainly one of my favorite variations of the holiday. I arrived home after four and we were eating dessert at 5:30. Alex says the first Thanksgiving lasted three days and ours took about half an hour. Plenty of leftovers when three people share a 10 pound bird. It was delicious though and Alex ate both drumsticks. Dave cooked the giblets for Dixie. Alex whipped the cream for dessert. Maybe this is the beginning of our Thanksgiving tradition. Or maybe we will never have a Thanksgiving tradition and when we gather together 10 years from now it will be at Hoss's.

Note: The turkey looked so good that we put it on the platter and carved it at the table. I thought it make make Alex think we were like that family in the Norman Rockwell paintings. Alex, of course, says, "Remember in Christmas Vacation, when they cut that turkey..."

The Griswold Thanksgiving

Givingthanks

The inversion of the compound word looks somehow shorter. Today in honor of the last holiday I will attempt 20 things I am grateful for. Here goes:

61. centerpieces

62. people who care that I had a slight interest in centerpieces

63. cranberries

64. Gluten free pumpkin cheesecake

65. Wedding gifts

66. my gorillapod

67. hugs

68. kisses

69. turkey pickers

70. daylight

71. music

72. sleep

73. pajamas

74. windowblinds

75. bubble bath

76. candles

77. co-workers

78. time and a half

79. not needing anything bad enough to shop on Black Friday

80. lists

No Title

51. Christmas music
52. Honey crisp apples
53. Canned peaches
54. Cinnamon
55. Cookie sheets
56. Amanda Dawn
57. Rhyming words
58. Singing birds
59. Microbiology words
60. Elephants

"WITH" Verses

You know--verses with the word 'with' in them. I have been gathering them for weeks and have assembled them into a 'with' verse a day for all of Advent. They are verses that talk about God with man. And they have to have the word'with' in them. (Thus abide 'in' doesn't count.) They are hard to pull up easily on the Bible program because you have to search for the word 'with' and clearly not all verses with the word with in them are really 'with' verses. So you just come across them and you know them when you see or hear them. I have with verses from Genesis to Revelation. I will share them with you if you'd like.

Thanks a Million

If I continued to list 100 things each November, and I lived to be 10,046 years old, I could list a million things I was thankful for. I've already got 140.

41. "with" verses
42. Copy
43. Paste
44. God's promises
45. Warm socks
46. People who tolerate my crabbiness
47. Turkeys
48. Cream cheese
49. Foodland (close to home)
50. Flyswatters

150 down. 999,850 to go.

Night at the Museum or Membership Has It's Privileges

Last night we went to the Dinosaur preview at the the Carnegie Museum. We saw lots of dinosaur bones put together like big puzzles. There are very cool computer interpretations of how dinosaurs moved. And the display hall is impressive both in size and number of dinosaur skeletons on display. It is a fun exhibit to see. Made me wonder what it must be like when they all come to life after the museum closes for the night.

I do wonder also about the accuracy of the displays. Seems like all the dinosaurs I knew as a child have become extinct again, as they have been reconstructed and/or renamed. Whatever happened to the brontosaurus? Did he evolve into a diplodoccus? If you had even half the bones of a chicken, could you put them together to create a chicken skeleton? Maybe we will try this with our Thanksgiving turkey. We will throw away half the bones and create our own paleontologist kit. You should hope we don't have your name for Christmas.

We also ate dino head cookies from Eat 'n Park. Such a good 'Burgh thing to do. And we watched a documentary about meteors and volcanoes. And then we did the way coolest thing of all. Deep in the basement of the museum we extracted DNA. Okay, we extracted DNA from wheat germ, but this was our first extraction, and they sent us home with the instructions to try this at home. So soon we will be extracting our own DNA, and then cloning is just around the corner. Mwah-ha-ha.

We've added Jurassic Park to our NetFlix queue.

Pay atTENtion

I can't remember what number I am on (because I wasn't paying attention). So here are the next ten , starting with something one and going through something else:

Something one. Mornings
Something two. The Lord's lovingkindnesses
Something three. Lists
Something four. Birthdays which are not mine
Something five. Hair dye
Something six. Digital photography
Something seven. Pictures of Claire
Something eight. Claire
Something nine. Eleven year old boys who say thank you without being prompted
Something else. Comments

And Counting

21. U.S. Savings Bonds
22. My Dad
23. Girls who call home
24. Christmas
25. Lost and Found
26. Dailyaudiobible
27. Running shoes
28. File folders
29. Museum tickets
30. DSL

Woe...Whoa...Row...

If Stasi's was the wedding that never ended, then Abi's was the wedding that barely was. Except for a few calla lilies, there is no trace here. And no one to look at the light fixtures with me. I took a few moments this morning to wallow in my self-pity. And I took advantage of the moment and scheduled visits to both my dentist and my gynecologist. Misery loves company.

(Be reassured: I am not feeling so bad that I felt the need to call my periodontist.)

On a happier note: Here are my girls all wearing the right dresses, I think.

Grateful, not Dead

11. Girls who dress themselves
12. Borrowed and shared clothing
13. Flowers
14. Light fixtures
15. Post-it notes
16. Spackling
17. Bathrobes
18. A day to spend in one
19. Green
20. Health benefits

Profoundly Grateful

As has been my blogging tradition, I will attempt in the month of November to list at least 100 things that I am thankful FOR. Let me just clarify that I am profoundly grateful TO God, from Whom all good things come.

1. Alarm clocks
2. Baby noises
3. A furnace that does not need 'tending'
4. Clean clothes
5. My husband
6. Toothbrushes
7. Window glass
8. My barking dog
9. Crisp apples
10. Ezekiel

Additionally, I should clarify that these are in no particular order, so it means nothing that my husband is just below laundry.

Not Where I Intended To Go

When I started this entry I intended to compare these two pictures. However, it took me an extended period of time to find and post them. And now I that I see them side by side, I am not even sure they look as similar as I thought they did. So this is really more a testimony to my inept computer skills than a look at how some babies look extraordinarily like their mothers.

Newer, Hipper Version

I am still adjusting to the idea of being a grandmother. Equally it is an adjustment for those around me. Imagine how old you must be if your sister is a grandmother. Or if your wife is a grandmother. (I don't even want to think that I am sleeping with someone's grandfather. :P) Or if you're in sixth grade and your mother is a grandmother. So Alex has been comparing me with other grandmothers he knows. This past weekend he held the door for a grandmother at TaeKwonDo, and he held the door for me as well. Then he remarked that I was in the same class as her, but I was a younger, hipper version. I think that was a compliment. At least I am taking it as one. So here is the new picture of me that I am going to use in my profile. It is a newer, hipper picture taken by Claire Marie's grandfather.

I've still got pretty good ankles for a grandma.

Serendipities

Today we planned a trip to see the leaves. Along the way we saw a road side spring, took pictures of our shadows, walked in the woods, climbed on rocks, saw the sun rise and set in spectacular fashion, ate french fries and gummy bears, dropped in to visit some friends, and just by chance saw a painted rock in the Tionesta River.

Who would paint a rock in the middle of the river? Okay, it looks like a giant frog-shaped rock, but who goes one step farther and actually paints it? And then it occurs to me that any one of my brothers would do this. And any two of my sisters if they were together would think to do this. And several of my children would seriously consider doing this. And I wish I had done it.

And Alex would throw rocks at it.

And for all the planning, the best moments of the day were the surprises. And being together to share them.

Yesterday Was A Very Good Day

I had a great day yesterday before 7:00am. First, I had my name tag from work for the first time since last Friday. I clocked out at 7:30pm on Friday and drove straight home. I clocked in at 7:00am Saturday morning without the use of my name tag. I have been looking for it and clocking in and out without it ever since. (As an aside--don't ask me how I can clock in without my nametag, but you might find it useful to know that a barcode reader can't distinguish between a laminated barcode and a photocopy of it.) Yesterday Alex pulled my nametag out of his backpack. Someone at school gave it to him and said it had been found at the football game. Here's what happened near as I can figure: When I arrived home on Friday evening with my nametag in my purse, I parked on the street because Jimmy was parked in the driveway and I didn't want to park him in. Because I wanted to get as close to the curb as possible, I had to duck out of the car under a tree. I think my nametag fell out then. Since I came and went in the dark, I never saw it. Someone who parked there on Saturday for the peewee football games picked it up, thinking I had dropped it on my way to or from a football game. Somehow it made it's way to school with a classmate of Alex's from last year. And eventually back home to me. (I didn't ask how many days it was in the backpack.) So yesterday when I pulled my nametag out of my purse to clock in, I unwittingly dropped a ten dollar bill out of my purse. As I'm going down the stairs I hear a gentlemen's voice call out, "Young lady!". Of course, I just kept walking, because obviously, he wasn't talking to me. But when he repeated it, "Young lady, going down the stairs," I stopped to see what he needed. He asked me if I had dropped some money. I immediately answered yes. He knew of course that I didn't know I had dropped it, and I knew he did know I had dropped it. With a quick glance in my purse , I knew it was a 10 dollar bill, and he had already been too honest to keep it now, so he returned it to me and I thanked him. (I hope God rewarded him later or he just had a good day knowing he did the right thing.) So here are the good things: I didn't have to buy a new name tag. I didn't have to get a new picture taken. (One of the advantages of keeping your nametag forever is that your picture reflects a much younger you. The picture I have currently is not too bad, though. The one I had before that...the time the security guard returned it after I had dropped it down the elevator shaft ((Don't even ask)) he remarked how much better I looked in real life than in my picture. I have a photocopy of it if you don't believe me.) I had ten dollars to lose. My lost $10 was returned. I clocked in on time. And someone called me a young lady. And all before 7:00am.
Last evening I had a grilled stickie a la mode and I treated a friend to a grandma's apple pie sundae. I used my $10. All in all, a very good day.

Just for the record, One time I dropped my name tag into the mail box along with some letters. The USPS returned it. One good thing about my nametag is that it has my name on it.

Would You Rather...

..open your dresser drawer and find 100 black widow spiders OR find six large rats that jump out of your dresser and scurry under the furniture?
I chose the six large rats because there were fewer and because they got out by themselves and hid.
I'm not sure this was edifying conversation, but it's what Alex and I talked about last night at bedtime. Just before I dozed off he shared the additional information that rats are very agile and some larger ones have a bite as strong as a small shark.

Sweet dreams to you too, Alex. The tooth fairy may never come.

She Has My Chin...

...but don't worry, I have another. I have become a fan of v-necked tops. I think they make my neck look longer. I used to have an exceptionally long neck. It used to make me feel taller and thinner. But as I've gotten older it has become a place to stack my chins. And it has wrinkles that are so deep that they don't tan. When the kids were little I could sometimes scrub little dark dirt rings from their necks at the end of a summer's day. This summer I had light rings around my neck---negative tan lines. Oddly enough, new places that the sun doesn't shine.

Clair will never know me as anything but a grandma. She will not know I once has a long thin neck and that the skin on my upper arm didn't always flap. She won't know what she missed.

Brenda the Remarkable Meets Claire Marie the Fabulous (via Abi the Incredible)

Here's what Abi and I did today. It is absolutely the best thing we have ever done together. Okay, so Abi did most of the work, but I didn't have the benefit of an epidural, and I am pretty proud of my first foray from the realm of parenting to the realm of grandparenting. Go ahead--call me Grandma. Today it doesn't sound so bad to me.

Claire Marie the Fabulous--Day one

Insert Link Here

I am so proud to be a link in AmiDawn's xanga. However, I think she is just showing off because she knows how it insert a link and I do not. But I was certainly glad to send her to public school. It was good for the school, and good for me. Homeschooling was always an effective threat when the girls were growing up. Do your homework, or I'll homeschool you. If you really are having a hard time adjusting to your new school, I'll be glad to homeschool you. Aren't those Middle Schoool boys awful? Why don't I just homeschool you? I never threaten to homeschool Alex, because he is just unsocialized enough to take me up on it. And then there would be no one to blame but me. And clearly it can't be all my fault, can it? Although Abi has always thought it is all my fault. Ever since I took up all the room. I should have homeschooled her through college. She would have benefitted from a little unsocialization.

What's The Story, Morning Glory?

Underneath this mountain of morning glories is a clematis and underneath that is a beautiful obelisk and underneath that is some kind of tree that Alex got at a growing up class.

All princes start as frogs.

All gentlemen as dogs.

Some boys will become men.

Here's hoping.

The Cosmos

According to G.K. Beale, the three parts of Israel's temple represented the three parts of the cosmos: The outer court: visible earth; the holy place: visible heavens; the Holy of Holies: dwelling of God.

I think I shall leave the arrangement of the cosmos in the capable hands of its original Designer, but I am indebted to my blog designer. She knows my heart and I love her. (even if her jeans leave little of her backside to the imagination!)

Twins Born 13 Years Apart

Children Re-named

Seems my links, which used to be to my children's blogs are now to Google News and two places called edit-me. What if these really were their names? Google News Henry. Edit-me Iovino. And what if I liked Edit-me so much I named another child that also? Edit-me Also.
I probably shouldn't be allowed to have any more children.

New Way Less Who I Really Am Template

Turns out my blog consultant is rather like my plumber. I should have been more selective. Asked more questions. Not let her grow up and move out of my house where I have nothing to hold over her head. Now that she is an adult and buys her own laundry soap (among other things...) she is not beholden to me. Thus she has put me off and left me to my own blogging abilities. This is scary. I have chosen the color Ochre for my blog. I really wanted sunshine or daffodil yellow with pink cosmos. Occassionally I want to rearrange the cosmos. I want something lime green and the color of the sky today. Wonderful clear blue with white and gray clouds that fill the space and change constantly, so that everytime you see my blog it is different. I do not want my old consultant back at all (although I miss her), I want God to do my blog.
Today I am going to attempt to insert a link. I am not going to ask anyone how to do this , or do any research, or even hit the help button. I am just going to cut and paste.

Okay--control p-- is not the way to do it. Obviously, that just publishes prematurely.

Also, you can not put the letter 'p' in the little greater than and less than signs, or when you publish it just disappears. I don't know where it goes. Rendevousing with mismatched socks from the dryer perhaps.

I copied the link to my race results, but I can't figure out how to paste it here. (Additional sadness in my life, but not worth ranting about.)

Suffice it to say that my time was little better than I thought. I finished 45th out of 70. I am greatly encouraged and may even run again. But not today.

Now I am going to light the candles on my back porch and sit around the fire with all of my family members who have not grown up and moved away. The fire will dance with all kinds of colors, and we will tell stories and laugh, and that is really more who I am. I'm happy with that.

Sorry you have to read this in Ochre.

Sadness and Ranting

Today something has eaten all the pretties off my blog. I called my blog consultant and she thinks that my images were hosted someplace else and that they may have deleted them off their server. What kind of nonsense is this? Who are these ones who host my images and delete them without warning?
At first I was sad about this, but it has quickly turned to anger and ranting. (So I changed the title of this posting.)
Ok, I'm over it.
Stay tuned for a new template, coming soon to a blog near you.

SPT Tech and the Fantasy Laboratory

Today I was the SPT tech. This is pronounced 'spit' tech. (Although I originally thought it was spin tech.) It is an acronym for Specimen Processing Tech--the person who receives and centrifuges the tubes of blood and delivers them to the various departments for analysis. It's a nasty job, but someone has to do it. So today they picked out a somebody and I was that hero. I adopted Mary Poppins' spoon full of sugar philosophy--you know--find the fun and Snap! the job's a game. So if SPT tech is a game, then I decided there could be a SPT tech rating--like a QB rating in the NFL. Since the game is only in my head, then I create the rating. So on the basis of dropped tubes, intercepted tubes delivered to wrong departments, overdue test results, angry phone calls fielded, and general good attitude I ranked myself pretty highly today. In fact, if there was such a thing as a fantasy lab league, I think I would go in the first round of the draft. Behind Dorothy the Fabulous, who does the spt tech job every day. And behind Tiki Barber, who would evidently be taken in the first round of any fantasy league.
Tomorrow I am on the 'green' bench in micro, which gives another whole meaning to 'spit' tech.

Milk Carton Photos

Today is picture day at school. We will not be purchasing any pictures, but we still have to look our best because we will appear in the yearbook and on other people's class pictures. Alex required a few more reasons to look good, so I offered that these are the pictures that will show up on TV if he was lost, stolen, or ran away. Shouldn't he then look more like he would actually look if any of those things happened--more like he would look on a regular day. I mean, what are the chances the news report would say "Last seen on picture day, wearing a black tuxedo..."?

Raiders of the Lost Sermon Notes

Today's sermon revolved around the story of King David bringing the Ark of the Covenent back to Jerusalem.
So here's some of the conversation from our lunch table:

Q. What 3 things were in the ark?
A. The 10 commandments on stone tablets.
A jar of manna. Turns out it was a gold jar-not a canning jar as some of us imagined. And indeed it was not in the form of manicotti. And manicotti does not closely resemble a machete as one pre-teen at the table imagined.
Aaron's staff. This led to some rather interesting investigation and discussion about what things Aaron's staff had been used for, what things Moses' staff had been used for, if Aaron ever used Moses' staff, and were there almonds in the ark.

Q. What does it look like when someone is smote?
It seems that it is more involved than just falling down dead. Like it would involve little wisps of rising smoke. This led to more questions about the present and imperfect forms of the verb. Words like smite and smitten. Somehow smote seems worse than smitten, and smitily or smotingly may not be words at all.

Q. Was David's linen ephod loosely woven?
This might explain why Michal was so upset. It would also be a generous explanation of Stasi's pants. There's not really a hole in the butt of your pants...they're just loosely woven.

My First 5K

Here I am at the start of the race. I trained for 8 weeks with my ipod and my dog. Last week I ran without the dog and without the ipod just to make sure I could do it. Never once in the 8 weeks I have been running did I run in the rain. The dog reluctantly stayed home. The ipod went with me. So I arrived at the start of the race, in the pouring rain, relatively unprepared, wondering what I was doing there and exactly why I ever thought this was a good idea. It turns out that running in the rain is miserable, but not much more miserable than running in general. The worse part was that my glasses were spotted and fogged the whole time and it was difficult to see where I was going. Sometimes I took them off. It made the colors brighter, and I think I stayed on the course the whole way. Thanks to my support team who crafted the homestar runner t-shirts, and kept me from quitting before I even started, for cheering me on at mile 1, and for watching expectantly at the finish line.
Speaking of which, here I am at the finish line. Note my time. This is of course a PR for me. I finished the race (goal #1). I ran under a 12 minute mile (goal #2). If I had been under the age of 19, I would have won a medal. But it turns out that a lot of women age 40-49 had nothing better to do today than run in the rain. And unfortunately they all ran faster than me. I did, however, win something in the raffle drawing. In fact my ticket was the first one drawn. Thus, I was first. Soon enough I will be in the 50-59 category where I will be a contender.

Who Was That Masked Wookie?

This Just In...

Here it is. A picture of Stasi's husband and Micah Henry's brother-in-law. At the falls. (Yeah and thanks to Stasi.) Also Ami and Julie before their awesome Scuzzy butt sliding adventure. And Ami again with her future brother-in-law and her future niece and her current sister none of whom went butt sliding.

Waterfalls/Three Girls/No Pictures

When Amanda was barely potty trained (what a great way to start a blog entry, huh?) and the red Subaru was the 'new car' we drove it through New England with our three favorite girls in the back seat. Somewhere near New Hampshire we hiked back to a waterfall and frolicked the afternoon away splashing together as a family. While most of the New England trip is documented on film, there is only one pic of us starting the hike towards the falls, because we ran out of film. So we stored the memories in our minds. Unfortunately, none of the girls retain these memories, and mine is clouded by time and perspective.
Fast forward to yesterday.
We picked Amanda up from college, and had supper at Buttermilk Falls. We arrived in three separate vehicles (none of which was a Subaru :( ) and in addition to the original three girls Amanda brought a roommate, Abi brought her fiance, and Stasi brought her husband. Oh, and Micah Henry's youngest brother-in-law was there. We spent a few hours frolicking in the water. I couldn't find my camera, and Amanda forgot to bring hers. Stasi arrived, took two pictures, neither of which included the falls, and had a dead battery with her camera.
So there are only a few pics captured on cell phones to document the day. Fortunately, I have it stored in my memory.

A few additional thoughts--although the girls are 'all growed up' they remain three of my favorite people, and Amanda left with wet pants.

Runners' High?

How far do you have to run to reach the Runners' High? I have to assume that Runners High is somewhere beyond the 'the wall'-- most probably in a gated community. I have yet to get a glimpse of it. Today I finished 2.75 miles without walking, in week 8 of my training. Never once have I finished my run saying ,"I have to do that again!" I usually count the training days till race day and say, "I have to do that again." Still pressing on.

Just remember that the use of 'run' and 'race' are generous terms for what I have planned for Sept. 8th.

Alternate Hands

So it seems that Strong Bad has alternate hands which are a bucket and a bullhorn. This got us to thinking what it would be like to have alternate hands. The rules seem to be that you can't have one alternate hand at a time. You just have your regular hands, or you can change them out with your alternate hands. I liked the bullhorn idea. I could use that to make my point more emphatically, and to get my family's attention when they appear to be tuning me out.
The bucket would be useful if I was scouring the ditches along back roads for wildflowers or swinging water around to demonstrate centrifugal force. Other than that I couldn't think of a lot of uses for those alternate hands. I think I would rather have scissors and a toaster. Micah would have his wallet and his keys. Dave would have a pneumatic tool with interchangeable appliances and a bloody stump. Alex is no longer part of the conversation, so he is unable to think what his alternate hands would be. (In fact, I would probably need a bullhorn to get his attention right now.) He just plants these ideas in all of our heads and then moves on. He goes back to school tomorrow. I hope the teachers are ready. I know I am.

Job Chapter One

While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said,"The fire of God fell from the sky and burned up the sheep and the servants, ane I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

Awaiting the Chaldeans and attempting blockquotes again...

Fountain of Youth--Will Blogging Keep You Young?

Adolescence is the age for the writing of diaries.
Those who keep it up all their lives, so far from attaining the desired maturity, remain perpetually adolescent. Now, Jung has shown us that adolescence is...the age of the completest misunderstanding of oneself.

Just wondering if having a blog means that I am a perpetual adolescent. Paul Tournier certainly would seem to think so. He is trying to help me answer the question, "Who am I?" I am only half way through the book. (Maybe the answers are in the last chapters.) From what I have managed to understand from the first chapters, I have deduced that I shouldn't look inside myself for the answers. So if you have any idea who I am, just leave a comment.

Do you like me? Check YES or NO

Seems a little adolescent to me...

Homestar Runner

I am crossing things off my 'someday I'm going to try that' list. Today I sent in the registration for my first 5K race. Actually, the item on the list is to run a 5K, not just to register. So I am planning to run on September 8th. Alex and I are figuring out a way to make a homestar runner t-shirt for race day. I think just a red T with a big white star on the front will work. My support team should have matching shirts also. I will not wear a beanie with a propeller on top. I think I will look and feel silly enough without the beanie.

Tonight I crossed off two other things on my 'someday' list: 1. Eat at Primanti Bros. and 2. Go to Phipps Conservatory. 1. a Cheesesteak sandwich which was somewhat disappointing. 2. Chihuly Nights glass exhibit which was even better than I thought it would be.

Often the enjoyment of an event is indirectly proportional to the expectations I have for it.

On race day I expect I will cross the finish line. Hopefully I will still be on my feet. Otherwise I won't be able to cross it off the list.

Little Alex Sighted in NYC

Little Alex finally reaches the top of the steps at the Museum of Natural History in NYC.

Things Little Alex can do easily:

1. Hide in a diorama
2. Duck between people's legs
3. Get to first base on balls
4. Fit in the backseat when his sister goes back to college
5. Get carried to bed

The Incredible Shrinking Kid

Things Alex finds difficult to do when he is shrunken:


1. Deliver the Saturday newspapers.

2. See in the bathroom mirror to check if his face is clean.

3. Walk the dog.

4. Get in and out of the top bunk.

5. Climb steps.

Four Eminent Words I Don't Understand

Here are four words for my list. I will never be able to use these in any written form because I can not remember which means what and I have a hard time deciphering them even when they are in front of me. I will, however, use them often in the spoken form because they all sound relatively the same and have such divergent meanings that they will fit a lot of situations and if I use them fast enough, no one will notice. Their immanent value makes their emanantness imminent.

imminent--likely to occur at any moment

immanent--inherent, remaining within

emanant--issuing from or as if from a source

eminent--high in station, rank, or repute; renowned

I had an ulcer once.

The Panories Have Landed

Panory Fest 07 was a success.

The Bighead pinata was a hit (pun intended).

There were panory cupcakes aplenty.

A new camo panory was unveiled.

The only regret was that Gage was not here to celebrate.

Thanks to Dave and Abi for making this possible.

PanoryFest 07

The semi-first annual PanoryFest will be held here on Monday. It coincides with the first day of summer vacation. We are getting better at planning the panoryfest activities. This year we actually invited people with an interest in panories, and had them RSVP. We are also making the best Bighead pinata ever.
Alex's gifted teacher remarked at open house this year that these children will look back and be incredulous that they spent so many hours drawing 'these things'. I think, instead, that she will look back and be incredulous that she missed the magic of panories--their ability to spark the imagination of upper elementary age boys, the tremendous creativity involved in their creation, their power to unite a disparate band of 5th graders with little else in common except their need to belong somewhere and a nagging sense that they never will.
Long live the Panories!

What I Meant to Say

Closing remarks are difficult because they should reflect, build on , or sum up what preceded them. Thus, they can not be really formulated until the end. So here's what I should have said:

Who am I? In fact, who are any of us that the God who created the universe and rules the heavens and the earth would want to be in relationship with us?
I challenge each of us here to cultivate, nurture and enjoy the relationships we have. With our God. With our mothers and our children. With our girlfriends.
How blessed we are to have these relationships! Let's make the most of them. Let's make time for them.

Let's pray.

The Onset of Puberty ala Hemingway

"Do you want some pickles?"
"No."
"No? Who are you? And what have you done with Alex?"
"Maybe he has been transmogrified."
"Maybe I'm going through puberty, and my interests are changing."

"Oh, darling, darling."

Microphotographs and the Scoop on Poop

In the world of laboratory science there needs to be a distinction made between slides-thin glass rectangles which hold specimens under a microscope and slides-pictures of specimens which can be projected. Consequently, the latter are often referred to as kodachromes. (As in Mama, don't take my kodachromes away...)*

Here then is my first attempt at creating my own kodachromes. I have always wanted to have a collection of happy polys, and now I see this may indeed be possible. Sadly, my first kodachrome is not of white blood cells at all, but an iodine prep of an ova and parasite concentration. A negative one at that. Taken through the microscope with my digital camera. So this is really just a picture of poop.

But think of the possibilities...

*(Oddly enough this song begins with the words: When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school...)

Ms. Understanding

4. Why the dog feels threatened by the windshield wipers.

5. How I can gain 2.5 pounds in one weekend, but it takes 2.5 months to lose one pound.

6. Who really invented the world wide web.