Run, Mom, Run

Today I was a participant in the Montana Women's Run.  Along with 10,000 other women. It is clearly a race designed to be run by women with women.  The problem I had is that the women who encouraged me to sign up and convinced me I could do the five mile version instead of the 2 mile version had to back out at the last minute.  So there I was, all alone in a crowd of 10,000 women on the streets of the big city. But not to fear-I had a plan. The STP and the Goob accompanied me to Montana to cheer me on and help me carry out the plan.  I carbo loaded on cheddar bay biscuits at Red Lobster on Friday evening.  (The STP and the Goob liked this part of the plan.) I  ate the gluten free STP's share as well as my own. (I was taking myself pretty seriously at this point.)
I have never wogged 5 miles at one time.  Ever.  So my plan was to 'run' for 15 minutes and walk for three and repeat as often as I needed to until I got to the finish line.  This worked pretty well until I mistook a water station for the mile 4 marker.  At which point I thought I could jog right on till the end.  Thus it was a major mental roadblock when I encountered the real 4 mile marker right around the time I hoped to see the finish line.  So I had to change the plan.  (Thank you once again, Kelsey, for teaching me the value of flexible plans.)  And walk another minute and self-talk myself into finishing.  Which I did.  In just a few minutes more than an hour after I started.  A time I am just a little proud of.
The STP took pictures.  One of me at the finish line before I started.  In case I didn't make it back there.  Only he zoomed in and cut out the words 'FINISH LINE' so it is just a picture of me standing in the middle of the big city street.  He took a picture at the start.  I am not in it.  He walked to a midway point, and waited to cheer me on and take an action shot, but somehow we missed each other.  It could be because 9,992 of us were dressed exactly alike.  Or because I was faster than he imagined possible.  Yeah, let's go with that.  He took another picture of me approaching the finish line.  Only his camera wasn't ready, and he got the shot when I was right beside him and it is mostly of my chin. Which I managed to stop him from posting to facebook just in time.  I did not carry my camera, so there are no pictures of how awesome it was to be in the middle of a crowd of thousands of runners,  stretched out for blocks.  And no pictures of beautiful children handing me cups of water and telling me I was doing great.  No pictures of policemen and bomb sniffing dogs keeping me safe.  No pictures of the Goob and the STP in the crowd right where they could cheer me on as I crossed the finish line. And no pictures of the buckets of pink carnations that they were handing out to everyone who finished.  I did get this one picture of me and my pretend daughters.  

Because part of my self-talk at mile 4.1 was that maybe my girls all flew out to Montana to surprise me for Mother's Day and were waiting for me at the finish line.  And wouldn't it be a shame if I didn't get there.  Since this was clearly the deluded thinking of a slightly oxygen deprived chubby woman overdosed on fat biscuits, I just asked these two beautiful young women to stand in as my daughters.  I love my girls.  Even the ones who couldn't be there today.  (And next time we are together, forget the aprons, let's all wear tutus.)
So here is what I learned today.  I CAN cover 5 miles at one time.  So if the STP and I are 5 miles from civilization (and cell phone service) and he falls and breaks his leg, I can run for help.  However, it may take me several days to recover and given my sense of direction I may not be able to get back to him.
Nonetheless, I am totally adding the Montana Women's Run to my list of things I wanted to do this year and crossing it off.