Up To The Plate

The STP ate barbeque in Kansas City.  At the barbeque place featured in the state special on the History channel.  Because Mr Personality is naturally drawn to popular places.  (I missed it because I was reading something.)
We did share a meal with family friends at a place called the Flying Saucer.  (Because you can take the STP out of Mars, but you can't take Mars out of the STP.)  They did not have a flying saucer ala Mars Boro, but they did have 200 varieties of beer.

If you tried all 200, you could be a member of the UFO Club. 

Don't imagine that we were there for the beer.

We were there for the food.

And to gather decorating ideas.

And ministry ideas.

Just picture offering plates lining the walls of the church sanctuary.  Embossed with the names of tithers and their favorite scripture quotes. 

I expect giving will increase significantly.

Bringing You Up To Date

We went to Kansas City.  Where everything is up to date. Only you couldn't really prove that by me, because I saw precious little of the city while I was there.  I did take a few pictures of our hotel.  Because the side of it lit up at night.  And made a little light show on the side of the building.  We have lots of motels in Dodge City, but none of them have a light show on the side of them.  Further proof, I guess, that we are not really up to date.

I took a few other pictures between the hotel and the convention center.  At night.  Of the park we walked through.  One of a horse statue.  Because I am like the cat who went to London to visit the queen.  Traveled from Wyoming to Missouri to take a picture of a horse statue.  (At night.)  I am pitiful.

I also took a picture of the fountain in the park.  Because I am always on the lookout for landscaping ideas.  How do you think this water feature will look in the west yard?

And then I took this picture of the motel light show reflected in the fountain pool.  Because I am an awesome photographer. Just saying.

So definately this is not a travel blog.

 



Because Facebook Isn't Weird Enough

Oh, yes.  Mr. Plaid Pants' daughters are such skeptics.  Surely their dad never wore plaid pants. 

 Here thanks to facebook, a fellow seventies something CCHS alum with a 110 camera, and a bizarre twist of fate is a picture of Mr Personality and his plaid pants (along with his high school sweetheart.)  

Okay, ready for the really bizarre part?

I am also in the picture.  With my algebra book and my lunch bag.  In the library. 

(Remember, if I married my high school sweetheart I'd still be single.)

I am glad things (including fashions) change after high school.

Mr. Plaid and Ms. Smarty Pants

I am not a big fan of facebook.  I'm not very good at facebooking.  But I stay because I like lurking about in other people's lives.  A little while back this picture surfaced on facebook.  It is from my high school yearbook.  It is also from the STP's highschool yearbook.  Because the STP and I went to high school together.  Here is a little proof.  We appear together in this yearbook picture. Class of nineteen seventy something.

It is of Senior Favorites. I worked on the yearbook staff, but I don't remember this picture.    Not only don't I remember the picture, but I couldn't remember what I was favored to do or be.  (Just looking I don't think I was best looking, but I might have been in the running for best dressed.)  I hoped I was funniest.  Or person you would most like to be stranded on a desert island with.  (Deep down I had a suspicion I was 'most likely to take her algebra book on a date.')  I asked the STP if he knew why he was favored.  He thought he was voted  Mr. Personality.  Oh yeah?  At this point the STP went and found our high school yearbooks.  Sure enough, he is pictured with 'personality' under his picture.  And under my picture is says 'studies'.  Which is another way of saying 'most likely to take her algebra book on a date'.  The STP says it meant I was smart.  Smart enough to marry Mr. Personality. 

He still has it, doesn't he?

The SFG Before I Left Town

The French lettuce is sprouting.

Ooh la la!

In a crop rotation experiment I have planted 2 zucchini seeds in the squares where the pumpkins were last year.  Am I out of my mind?  Maybe.

Can't wait to get home and see if the carrots have sprouted.

Could It Be True?

The kayak has finally arrived in Dodge City.  Too bad I am in Kansas City this weekend.

Kaleidoscope Update

All clear. 
As in two days of clear liquid diet followed by 12 hours of nothing by mouth.   
As in clear, nothing to see here, examination of the length of my entire colon. 
As in clearly a procedure I have no desire to do more than once every ten years.

West Side Story

My yellow lilac is going to bloom this year.  And the coral bells are showing great promise.

And the peonies have buds.

And my dream of lush greenery on the west side of the house has a chance of coming true.

Mood Swings

It wasn't that the day was bad.  Just that I was anxious to get home.  About 13 mph too anxious.  Which delayed my arrival home about 10 minutes and will end up costing me $112.  So sad.
Then the STP told me they called about my kayak today.  Because tomorrow is my estimated delivery date.  So I thought they must be calling to arrange delivery.  But no.  They were calling to say that my kayak missed the truck.  The truck that delivers to  'outlying areas' and only makes one run a week. 
Its one thing to miss the boat, but today my boat missed the truck.  So sadder.
So sadder that I had to just go outside and look at my plants. 

And I'm telling you that those baby onions are enough to return some happy to my day.  I had a plan for the SFG which included some plum tomatoes.  But when I was at the garden center I spotted some chocolate cherry tomato plants. ( Ever have a plan?  Ever think about changing it?)  So I bought four chocolate cherry tomato plants and planted two.  I have no idea what they will be like.  But just the words 'chocolate cherry tomato' are more than enough to make me forget my estimated date of kayak arrival is approaching June. 

Then I baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies.  And I served them warm with a glass of milk to the Goob for a bedtime snack.  And he gave me hug and a kiss and told me I am the BEST MOM EVER.  And that restored so much happy to my day that I can't even remember why that officer pulled me over. 

Two Updates

1.The STP came through his kaleidoscope with flying colors. 
Best thing about the kaleidoscope--it was in the big town with the garden center.  New plants!!

2.I start my new job today.
Worst thing about my new job so far--no time to plant my new flowers

Self-diagnosis

Maybe I don't feel good.  It started with plantar fasciitis in my right foot.  And then the pain moved up to my right hip and lower back.  Where it has lived off and on for two years.  Sometimes I don't feel it at all.  Sometimes I'm not sure I will be able to walk.  I don't think it is muscular.  Maybe joint.  Possibly weight related.  But my maid of honor had a hip replacement this week. (How old am I?) And I think that might be my problem.  And I watched a show called Mystery ER and the guy on the show had all my symptoms, but I fell asleep just before they gave the diagnosis.  Did I mention my fatigue?  And the STP has his kaleidoscope scheduled for tomorrow and I think I might have colon cancer.  Or kidney failure.  In the last week I thought it might be vitamin D deficiency, an ovarian cyst, or lupus.
Typed my symptoms into the computer and it says I might have network connectivity problems. 

Tiptoe Through the Dining Room With Me

I brought a little bit of Spring inside.  It is a new design idea I had to draw your eye up and away...

















...away from the other things on the dining room table.

The Goob was kind enough to point out the irony of the cover story on the Real Simple issue on the top of the stack.

Make a Note

I am working my last weekend at my last job, attempting to work my way through "Love Wins" in my down time.  Either it is too fragmented for me to get a hold on it, or too deep for my microbiology sized brain, or too early in the book (or maybe I shouldn't be trying to read it and watch 'The Bucket List' at the same time), but here is one tidbit from page 44 that I didn't want to forget:

There is nothing wrong with possessions; it's just that they have value to us only when we use them, engage them, and enjoy them.  They're nouns that mean something only in conjunction with verbs.

That's why wealth is so dangerous:  if you're not careful you can easily end up with a garage full of nouns.

Nor sure yet what, if anything, this has to do with heaven, hell, or every person who has ever lived, but I think it might be speaking to me and my kayak.

One Little Indian

The STP and I ordered our kayaks at the same time.  We each chose our own kayak and paddle with the idea that we would compare them and see which we liked best. Not that it was a contest or a race or anything, but the STP's kayak arrived first.

I attempted to track my kayak on-line.

I waited two days past the 'estimated delivery date' to call about my kayak. 
I call the shipping company that was to deliver the kayak.
Me:  My kayak is late.
Shipping Company Representative:  Let me see about that.  Please hold...( Hold... Hold...holding longer than estimated holding time....)We don't have your kayak.  We can not deliver your kayak because we never picked up your kayak.  Because your kayak was not released for pick up. You will have to contact Amazon and have them release your kayak.  Then we can pick it up and deliver it.
Me:  So even though 'my order has shipped' and I have pick up and delivery dates, the kayak has not gone anywhere? 

The Shipping Company Rep explains the difference between an estimated pick-up date and an actual pick up date.  She suggests I call Amazon and have them 'release' my kayak.
I use Amazon's contact us on-line service where I enter my problem on-line and Amazon calls me.  The phone rings.  It is Amazon.  They instruct me to hold for a representative.  (The ultimate in customer service is where the company calls you to put you on hold... Hold...hold...holding to very bad holding music....)
Amazon customer service representative probably named Rahib:  How may I help you?
Me:  My kayak is late.  I want you to release my kayak.
Rahib (Reading from a fill-in-the-blank item-did-not-arrive-as-expected script): I am sorry for the problem with your kayak.  I will connect you with our large items department.  Please hold...
(Hold....Hold...Holding just a little longer while Rahib explains to the large items rep that he doesn't know what my problem is...)

Amazon Large Items Customer Representative:  How may I help you?
Me (Reverting to the Goob's third grade fill-in-the-blank anti-bullying script):  MY KAYAK is LATE.  When my kayak is late it makes me feel cranky.  I want you to give me a dollar.
ALICR:  I am sorry for the problem with your kayak.  Do you still want the kayak?  I can release the kayak for shipping today and credit your account $30.00 for the inconvenience.
Me:  Could you please hold while I consider your offer?  

The STP is waiting patiently for the arrival of my kayak.
 
The actual shipping date of my kayak is May 12th.  The new estimated arrival date is May 19th. 

Cooking Updates

How to cook a 13.5 prime rib...

Invite two friends to help you cook.

How to serve 13.5 pounds of prime rib...

Set two of your tables and most of your chairs up in your big room and host the main course of the progressive dinner.  Let me just say that the food was excellent.  I think I will invite people over to cook at my house more often.  Just let me know when you want to come over.  I'll set the table.
 

The Insistent Lap-top

I have a lot of things to update you about.  So I sat down to blog with my lap-top.  The Goob suggested I move from the dining room to the big room to be near him and the STP.  No problem because I have a lap-top. 



The SLD had her own idea about what should occupy my lap. 

It is slower to type with a dog in my lap, but I have to admit a lap dog is more comfortable than a lap-top.

Oh Where Is My Kayak?

Shipped


Delivery Estimate: May 9, 2011


Tracking Information:

We're sorry. We are unable to retrieve tracking information for this shipment at this time.

Emotion Kayaks Blow Molded Glide (Orange)

Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC

How helpful is that tracking information?  The STP says it is too cold and rainy to kayak anyway.  Still and all, I wish my kayak had arrived. 

Special Deliveries

Things that have arrived from my online shopping spree in response to the STP's online hunting license application spree:

2 green watering cans
1 yellow kayak paddle

Awaiting the qualified-for-free-shipping arrival of my kayak.   Wanna guess what color it is going to be?

This Just In

A tumbleweed.  In the wild (, wild West).

I Can't Go For That

The STP is a big fan of breakfast.  Myself less so.

 

In an effort to have gluten free breakfasts,  he has been rolling his own oatmeal.  Thus this picture in my kitchen of hull and oats.

  (Get it?  Hall and Oates?)   I thought this was hysterically funny.  The STP less so. 

More or Less Fortunate

STP's text:  On my way home.   Need anything?
My text:  2 eggrolls
STP's text: ok
Verizon unlimited texts:  Totally worth it.

My fortune cookie:

Cracked open in the wrapper:

Totally lacking a fortune:

Leaving me to totally write my own fortune for today:

You will have lunch with the love of your life.  



Playing Hard Rock

I am in the process of gathering materials for my back yard patio.  So far I have a pile of bricks.  And some shale.  And, as of this morning, a pile of rocks.  I think I am ready to start, although I don't have a really clear plan yet.  The STP suggested that I trace the rocks onto cardboard and arrange and rearrange them until I decide where each rock should go.  Then he will move the rocks just once into the place they will stay.  I so wanted to do this today instead of going to work.  I wanted to call off.  My rock hunting and hauling friend suggested this excuse: 
I won't be in today because I can't see. 
That's right.  I just can't see.
...I just can't see myself coming in to work today.

Online Window Shopping

Things I am going to buy with my first paycheck from my new job:
1.  skelemingoes

No Time for Thinking

I wasn't sure I was ready for the Goob to get his permit.  I wasn't sure if the Goob was ready.  Turns out the STP and the Goob were on the same page about this.  About a novel and a half ahead of me.  So yesterday they went to the DOT and got an instructional driving permit.  And then the Goob drove home. 

Go, Goob, go. 

There was a time when the Goob did not try new things.  When riding a bike was a lose-lose proposition.  (You lose your balance-you lose your skin).  There was an accident that made him unsure if riding in car was a good idea.  But here he is today.  Driving a car.  Evidently, he is ready. 

I'm still not sure I am ready.

Resign Yourself to This

I don't work at Dodge City Federal Savings and Loan any more.  My banking career came to an end last Friday.  So you will have to look for a new source of state quarters and financial advice and information.  (The other day I saw Glenn Beck was talking about The Bailey Bros. Savings and Loan and Mr. Potter.  Scary, huh?)  And I had to turn in my key to the bank along with my resignation. So as my last hurrah as a 'teller' here a few things I'd like to 'tell' you:
1.If you don't know the teller, the teller probably doesn't know you.  No matter how long you've had an account at the Savings and Loan.  Just show your ID without whining and sighing.
2.The teller does not have your account number memorized.  If she has to look it up, your transaction will take longer.  This is your fault, not hers.
3.The drive through is meant for you to drive through.  Not to park in and talk on your cellphone. 
4.The teller can not read your mind through the pneumatic tube. If you want to deposit the check, you will have to mention that. And it would be helpful if you had your account number.
5.The way to get money out of your checking account is to write a check.  Why is this difficult?
6.If you don't have money in the bank to cover your check, your check will be non-sufficient.  There is a charge for this.  The charge is going up.  The teller does not set the fees.  She does not pocket them.
7.Tellers do not make a lot of money.  Their wardrobe is deceiving.
Just telling like it is...
Hope I remember these things when I go to do my banking this week.

The Bunny, the Bunny, Oh I Love the Bunny

The bunny cake is a good indicator in our house of how much you are loved.  I didn't know this until the Goob pointed it out in a self-pity fit several years ago.  But evidently it is the kind of thing children keep track of.  In the same category and inversely proportional to who always gets the chipped plate.  As the mom, I never even knew there was a chipped plate, and I truly never kept track of who got a bunny cake for their birthday. This year the Goob's birthday coincided with Easter Sunday.  So I made him a bunny cake.  A bunny cake with peanut butter icing.  Just so there isn't any doubt as to which of my children living at home I love the most.

Although, I don't think the bunny cake was designed to be a birthday cake for 15 year olds.  In one quick slice the very cute bunny evolved into a scary rabid pac-man rabbit (with jelly bean fangs).

And before you could say, "Make a wish" it had become a fire-breathing rabid rabbit.

The Goob is now old enough to get his driving permit.  The next time the Goob's birthday and Easter fall on the same day will be in the year 2095.  The Goob will be 99 years old.  Will he still have his driver's license?  Hopefully he will have someone who loves him enough to make him a bunny cake.  And help him blow out the candles.

Love you, Goob.  Happy Birthday!

The SFG-Year Two

I tilled up the SFG this afternoon--by hand.  I mean, I used a shovel, but no rototillers or tractors were needed.  It took me about two minutes.  Then I raked it smooth.  And in about three minutes total it was ready to go.  I planted my first crop of French lettuce (Oo La La!!) and put in an entire square foot of onion sets.  I watered them from the rain barrel.   Then I had a glass of iced tea.  And now I just wait for the danger of frost to pass.   

Colored Eggs

Early in the week I had some question about whether we would color eggs. But we stopped into the StuffMart after our kaleidoscope appointments, and habit dictated that I get eggs and the STP picked out two egg dyeing kits. So today we hard boiled two dozen eggs and set out to color them.

 The STP chose a tie dye kit (because he is a child of the sixties) and a majestic kit (because he can't get enough of the royal wedding).  Neither kit involved vinegar or cups of hot water.  Instead we put drops of color directly onto the egg

and then put the egg in a bag

and then smooshed the color around on the egg

and repeated the process until the egg was covered.

We found the majestic egg process to be similar but it was kind of like smearing hard boiled eggs with nail polish.

Oh, wait.  That is the picture on the box.

Our majestic eggs were significantly less majestic.  (I don't think Kate or William would be impressed.)

The STP called them anemic. 

We switched back to the tie dye dyes.  The Goob attempted to make an Oscar egg, and while the egg in the bag had great potential

 the end product was more classy than hideous.

Regrettably, we forgot(!) to make any magic eggs.

It was a very calm, no mess, no drama egg dying time at our house this year.  Which makes me think that, if I had it to do over again, I might have dyed the Easter eggs after the kids were in bed or while they were in school.  Because it is much easier to dye eggs without any children in the room.

But, really, where is the magic in that?

(Totally missing my girls and hoping Grandma Mary knows how blessed she is today.)

It's So Easy Being Green

My dad was ecology minded way before it was politically correct.  He reused, reduced, and recycled to the extreme. (That is to the extreme embarrassment of his oldest daughter.)  He used the same paper lunch bag until it was limp. He expected me to do the same.  I 'accidently' threw my lunch bag away every other day. And I determined I would not grow up to be so weird cheap eccentric environmentally friendly.
Imagine my surprise to discover how 'green' I have become. 
I have a compost pile and a rain barrel.
Our lawn mower does not have an engine.
We recycle glass, plastic, aluminum, and newspapers.
I washed my windows with microfiber cloths and a bucket of water--no chemicals.
I wash and reuse ziploc bags.
I walked to work today and sometimes we ride our bikes to get from place to place.
I say things like 'reducing my carbon footprint'.
The Goob has a reusable lunchbag and he brings it home every day.
Happy Earth Day, Dad.  I love you.

Always a Padawan, Never a Jedi

Just wanted to remember that line.  Someday I will use it.  (I can't think when it will ever be appropriate, but if it ever is, I'll be ready.  I hope Uncle M will be in the room if/when the time comes.)
Speaking of Star War references, I was thinking that when the disciples took the donkey colt for Jesus to ride into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday it must have been kind of a jedi moment. 
"The Lord has need of it." 
Say it with the same intonation as "These are not the droids you are looking for." 
And wave your hands around like you are some kind of jedi. 
Now imagine it being followed by "You want to go home and rethink your life."
Now there's some advice for Holy Week. 
Besides staying home and rethinking our lives we will be coloring eggs, baking ham, and celebrating the Goob's birthday with a bunny cake. 

About My Day

Things I did:
Made peanut butter icing
Iced cupcakes for the bakesale
Attended my colonoscopy consult
Scheduled my colonoscopy
Shopped at WalMart
Bought a jicama
Ate a half reuben sandwich
Slept in the car
Talked to Amidala on the phone
Used call waiting (successfully) on my cellphone
Made an appointment for a haircut
Planted scavenged rhubarb plants
Things you might want to know:
The season finale of Parenthood (my favorite TV show) was last night.
I will start a new job in May
I signed a release to allow photographs and/or videotaping of my kaleidoscope.
(My spell checker does not recognize 'colonoscopy' and suggests 'kaleidoscope' or 'cloudscape'.  Therefore, I will now refer to my colonoscopy as my kaleidoscope instead.)   
The STP will have his own kaleidoscope.

That pretty much brings us up to date.  Hope your day does not involve a kaleidoscope.

The Anti-Bakesale

Here is my next good idea.  The anti-bakesale as a fundraising function.  First you have a bakesale so that everyone knows how it works.  Then you have the anti-bakesale.  In which every parent and board member just donates the money that they would spend on ingredients.  And then they add in a bonus for the time they do not have to spend baking and wrapping the anti-bakesale items.  And then just a little more for the privilege of not having to clean up the kitchen and transport cupcakes.  My guess is that the anti-bakesale would be just as, if not more than, successful as the real bakesale. 
And then, for those social types who like to sit at a table and solicit donations from passersby, they can set up a table with small paper plates and empty cupcake papers.  And passersby can make donations based on the number of calories they are not consuming.  Anti-cookies would be $1.35 because you are not eating 135 calories you do not need just to support a good cause.  I'm thinking that an anti-loaf of banana nut bread might go for $15.00.  And you can run the anti-bakesale for several days in a row, or every other Monday, because anti-baked goods don't get stale or grow mold. 
Genius.  And I'm just giving this idea away for free. 

Rain Barrel Update

Contrary to the weather forecast the sun is shining this morning.  And the rain barrel is almost two thirds full.

Springing Up

It's nothing compared to what has already sprung at Amidala's house, but it is, I believe, the beginning of a daffodil.  Just a reminder that Spring will come, even if tomorrow's forecast is for snow showers. 

Also, I took my bucket on a road trip yesterday and brought home some rhubarb plants.  And I think my yellow lilac may bloom this year.  And the clematis has new growth.  And all the flamingos are back in the flower bed.  And I have a gift certificate to Northern Gardens Garden Center.  Oh, life is good.