Catch or Duck

 I picked up a little something for you this weekend.

Here you go!

Productive Weekend

41.  Finish the north rock bed.

This has been on the list since last summer, and completes the beds around the house.  (Five short years after I started.) 

**With thanks to the STP, the Goob, and my friend the Game Warden who all recognize a good rock when they see one.

The SLD and Why I Love Her

 We invited the Goob to go with the STP and me on our trip to the mountain, but he has no enthusiasm to go anywhere with us.  Especially if it involves the outdoors.  Or moving.

 On the other hand, we had the dog at the word "Go".

She loves the outdoors.  Especially if it involves running.  Through snow or mud.  Or both.

She loves smelling things.  Like imaginary underground rodents.  

And she loves protecting us from things (like moose and crows) with her vicious bark.

When she is outside, she has the attention span of a hyper little dog. (Squirrel.)  She listens to the STP, and is deaf to the sound of my voice.  When she gets in the car, she prances her muddy feet across my seat.  Occasionally she does that stealthy dog kiss thing that I hate.  I hope she lives long enough to move out of my house with the Goob.

But the thing I love about her is her ability to be in the right place, at the right time, looking in the right direction when the shutter snaps. 

Good dog.

Wild About the Mountain

Tiny wildflowers bloom in very hostile places on the mountain.

Some are so tiny that you almost can't see them.

Unless you are looking for them.  

And you use your macro setting.

And get close to the ground.

 Some are slightly less exotic than others.

And some are more exquisite.

And, like most things, if you take enough pictures of them, you are bound to get a few good ones.

Touched today by the beauty of the creation and the vast creativity of the Creator.

A Memorable Day

6:30am  Get up to go for a little walk/run.  (First day of my summer 10,000 steps program.)  Raining.   Return to bed.
7:30am   Get up.  Blue skies.  Assess weather forecast.  AM showers.  Clearing.  Partly cloudy.  Pleasant temperatures rest of day.  Put the flag out.
Get ready for PICNIC ON THE PATIO (#29)  Send STP for ice for assorted cans of pop in washtub.  Gather plates, straws.  Wrap assorted red and blue cloth napkins around plasticware (one knife, one fork, one spoon)-tie with assorted coordinated red, white and blue ribbons--place on newly spray painted silver tray.    Remind Goob to pick up dog dirt.  Count invited guests and chairs.  Try on tablecloths.  Make fruit salsa with cinnamon tortilla chips and form hamburger patties.  Discover mold on GF hamburger buns bought yesterday.  Send STP back to store to exchange rolls and pick up one more  pack of hot dog buns.  (Sad truth--no mold free GF buns in town :( )
11:00am  Relax
11:30am  STP starts charcoal.
11:40am  Coals look good. Skies look clear.  Winds calm.  Pop cold. Tablecloths on. Think I should get the camera and take a picture of my silverware tray.  Get distracted.
11:50  Phone rings.  Party guest will be late because she has to move her dad to tornado shelter.
11:51  Walk to other side of house and survey sky to west.  Ominous black clouds.  REALLY?!?
11:53  Take flag back in.  Remove tablecloths.  Fold up chairs that will fold and drag others and stack on deck.  Drag everything back in house.  Put it everywhere there is a flat space.  Pray it blows over.
11:55  Consult weather channel forecast again.  Storm to the south west of us.  Moving north east. 50 mph winds.  Rain.  Hail.
12:00pm  Party guests arrive.
12:05  STP grills burgers/hotdogs.
12:10  Storm arrives.  Wind.  Pouring rain.  Hail.
12:20  Burgers are done.  Hot dogs are black.  Guests find plates on top of freezer in entryway by crumpled up tablecloths and bags of buns.  Guests find meat on kitchen counter.  Condiments on stovetop.  Guests can not find silverware.  Guests clear spots at tables inside and eat with fingers.
12:30  Remove potato salad from fridge.  Pass around silverware.  Have tiny nervous breakdown.
12:40  Make myself a plate.  Get cheese from the fridge.  And some lettuce.  Put it out on counter like it has been there all along.
12:45  Sit and enjoy food, conversation, freedom.
1:15pm  Storm has passed.  Blue skies.  Serve homemade strawberry ice cream brought by late arriving guest.
1:30pm  Move outside to patio.  Have another can of pop.  Play a game or two of corn hole.  Sit long, talk much, laugh often.
5:00pm  Guests leave.
5:15pm  Help the STP clean up.
Note: No tornados. One pack of hot dog buns left over. 
Pretty much the way I planned it.

29

Half a Pound--Off the Top

Welcome to make-over week.
(My reward to myself for reaching a weight goal.)
Been awhile (like forever) since my hair was this long.





And awhile since it was this short.

Also treated myself to the welcome-to-summer chili cheese coney dog at A&W.

Which I'm pretty sure puts me back over the weight in question.  And  cancels out any weight I lost as a result of the haircut.  This diet plan is complicated.  But you can't undo a haircut, so I get to keep it. 

Not to self:  Celebrate next goal with new clothes instead of food.  

Sinking

It did not escape my attention that while everyone else was blogging and posting about Mother's Day, I was posting about toilet paper and gyne appts.  In fact, I had a wonderful Mother's Day that included breakfast in bed, gifts, cards and phone calls from each and every one of my children.  So pleased with each of my kiddos and where they are at right now.  So pleased to be their mom.  So thankful that, in spite of my mothering, because of God's grace they are surviving.

Love you, Goob, Princess (formerly from Slovakia), Queen of Queens, and Princess Amidala

One More Down

15.  Visit the gynecologist.
Unlike a trip to the dentist, there are not a lot details that I can share about my trip to the gynecologist this morning.  Except to say that this may be my favorite gynecologist ever, I am weathering the female aging process fairly well,  I am one polyp lighter than I was at the start of the day,  and number 15 is off the list of 2013 non-resolutions.  Really, I am just posting this to serve as a reminder that the whole process was not as  painful as I had anticipated and I should not put it off again for another 5 years.

Little Reveal

For at least 10 years I have not had a toilet paper holder in my bathroom. (Because...well, just because.) That fact alone makes this newest addition to the downstairs bathroom blogworthy.

So here it is.  Simple.  Elegant.  Easy to use.  

 

The perfect display piece for my mad toilet paper origami skills.

You're welcome.

Run, Mom, Run

Today I was a participant in the Montana Women's Run.  Along with 10,000 other women. It is clearly a race designed to be run by women with women.  The problem I had is that the women who encouraged me to sign up and convinced me I could do the five mile version instead of the 2 mile version had to back out at the last minute.  So there I was, all alone in a crowd of 10,000 women on the streets of the big city. But not to fear-I had a plan. The STP and the Goob accompanied me to Montana to cheer me on and help me carry out the plan.  I carbo loaded on cheddar bay biscuits at Red Lobster on Friday evening.  (The STP and the Goob liked this part of the plan.) I  ate the gluten free STP's share as well as my own. (I was taking myself pretty seriously at this point.)
I have never wogged 5 miles at one time.  Ever.  So my plan was to 'run' for 15 minutes and walk for three and repeat as often as I needed to until I got to the finish line.  This worked pretty well until I mistook a water station for the mile 4 marker.  At which point I thought I could jog right on till the end.  Thus it was a major mental roadblock when I encountered the real 4 mile marker right around the time I hoped to see the finish line.  So I had to change the plan.  (Thank you once again, Kelsey, for teaching me the value of flexible plans.)  And walk another minute and self-talk myself into finishing.  Which I did.  In just a few minutes more than an hour after I started.  A time I am just a little proud of.
The STP took pictures.  One of me at the finish line before I started.  In case I didn't make it back there.  Only he zoomed in and cut out the words 'FINISH LINE' so it is just a picture of me standing in the middle of the big city street.  He took a picture at the start.  I am not in it.  He walked to a midway point, and waited to cheer me on and take an action shot, but somehow we missed each other.  It could be because 9,992 of us were dressed exactly alike.  Or because I was faster than he imagined possible.  Yeah, let's go with that.  He took another picture of me approaching the finish line.  Only his camera wasn't ready, and he got the shot when I was right beside him and it is mostly of my chin. Which I managed to stop him from posting to facebook just in time.  I did not carry my camera, so there are no pictures of how awesome it was to be in the middle of a crowd of thousands of runners,  stretched out for blocks.  And no pictures of beautiful children handing me cups of water and telling me I was doing great.  No pictures of policemen and bomb sniffing dogs keeping me safe.  No pictures of the Goob and the STP in the crowd right where they could cheer me on as I crossed the finish line. And no pictures of the buckets of pink carnations that they were handing out to everyone who finished.  I did get this one picture of me and my pretend daughters.  

Because part of my self-talk at mile 4.1 was that maybe my girls all flew out to Montana to surprise me for Mother's Day and were waiting for me at the finish line.  And wouldn't it be a shame if I didn't get there.  Since this was clearly the deluded thinking of a slightly oxygen deprived chubby woman overdosed on fat biscuits, I just asked these two beautiful young women to stand in as my daughters.  I love my girls.  Even the ones who couldn't be there today.  (And next time we are together, forget the aprons, let's all wear tutus.)
So here is what I learned today.  I CAN cover 5 miles at one time.  So if the STP and I are 5 miles from civilization (and cell phone service) and he falls and breaks his leg, I can run for help.  However, it may take me several days to recover and given my sense of direction I may not be able to get back to him.
Nonetheless, I am totally adding the Montana Women's Run to my list of things I wanted to do this year and crossing it off.

Running Tally

32.  Run a 5K
You know by now that 'run' is loosely used when it relates to my athletic ability.  Nonetheless, I 'ran' the BBBS 5k on Saturday morning.  Finished, didn't walk, under 36 min.  Raised over 100 dollars for Big Brothers/ Big Sisters thanks to the generosity and support of my little brother and  little sisters.  Next Saturday I have plans to walk/run 5 miles in the Montana Women's Run along with 7700 of my best friends.  And I am contemplating one more race the beginning of June.  For someone who doesn't run, I am doing a lot of it this month. 
If you are keeping track, that is 11 things off my non-resolution list of 2013.  More than 33% of the year gone and only 20% of my list accomplished.  Need to pick up the pace this summer. 
Speaking of picking up...the STP and I gathered a load of rocks yesterday in anticipation of finishing the rock bed along the north side of the house. 

Unashamedly Asking for Money

Recently one of my favorite nephews contacted me to donate money to his school.  Evidently they need things like pencils that their local taxes don't provide.  So the students were going to... walk and ask friends and relatives to give them money for... walking.  I donated to the cause because he is one of my favorite nephews, he wrote his own name on the donation request, I did not have to choose an overpriced item from a brochure full of things I did not want, and I believe children should have pencils.  There was no stipulation how far they had to walk.  I think the campaign would have been just as effective and slightly more interesting to me if they had just decided to stand still.  I know there were days when my own children were that age that I would have gladly paid them to be still.
On Saturday I have signed up to wog 5K for the benefit of Big Brothers Big Sisters.  When I sign up, I get to make my own web page and then I get to ask friends and relatives to donate money because I am...wogging.  (A combination of walking and jogging propelling me forward at a pace just slightly faster that standing still.)  So if I am one of your favorite friends or relatives, you don't need any more things and still have money left over, and you believe children should have brothers and sisters you can go here and donate to the cause.
Plus I win a prize if I have the most donations.

Out of the Funk

Turns out wearing green helps reduce funk symptoms, and may even facilitate destruction of doldrums.  Good thing I own a few green things.

Happy, Happy, Happy

Happy my family is not on a reality TV show.
No one needed to see what I emptied out of the dryer lint trap today.
Just saying.

Two Happy Things

1.  End of AWANA year/little boys who bring me gifts
2.  Evening at home/laundry caught up

THE BIG REVEAL

The big bathroom reveal.  Come right in.  **This is where you clasp your hands over your mouth and say Oh My Goodness over and over.**  The tub and shower went back in the same spot they came out of.  None the worse for wear.  Hopefully, without the stinking leak behind the wall. (in faith believing...)

The window closet door is new.  There was not a closet here at all. Just an awkward wall and skinny useless space.  The closet is one of my favorite parts of the bathroom redo.  Kudos to the STP for remembering I had this window in the garage and to the adept carpenter who framed it in a wall that didn't quite exist.

This wall was moved just a little, and the vanity was replaced.  Because the old vanity had no character.  None.

And the view from the throne:  The new vanity was rescued from the used furniture store in Dodge City during the Christmas parade.  Character plus.  Painted and replaced the hardware.  Thought about distressing it, but figured that will just happen naturally over time.  Kudos to the Charlie, the plumber who plumbed this so cleanly.  Maintained use of both drawers.  No ugly pipes showing.

Two sinks with fancy pants faucets.  The STP chose these.  We added the fancy pants magnifying mirror for the STP.  I accidentally looked into the 8X magnifying side.  I will never make that mistake again.

The STP built this towel rack to my specifications.  He is awesome.  Just saying.

Because all my closet clutter is still not moved back downstairs, I will show you the inside of the closet.   And in the interest of full disclosure you should know that the toilet paper is still sitting on the back of the toilet.  The curtains need re-hemmed and the sewing room looks like this:

Lets keep this part just between us, okay?  But keep your eye on that chest. It may reappear in the bedroom reveal.

Bite Their Heads Off

The STP denies he has a pinterest account.

Nonetheless, he added 100 flexible straws, whipping cream, and raspberry jello and Knox gelatin to the shopping list.

A few cups of boiling water and a few drops of green food coloring, and he had what looked for all the world like a bowl of pureed worm guts.

Ready to pour pureed worm guts.

After a few hours of refrigeration and some appropriately messy worm extraction techniques...

Voila!  Worms of the edible variety.  Sure to delight a handful of little boys.

Even more effective served in a bowl.

Several notes:  The STP's fishing buddy is trying to figure out how to make these in a flavor that will entice large trout.  I will not be the taste tester for that.  

And don't forget: Throw the skins away.

Yesterday's Happy Thing

Refusing to let THE FUNK get the best of her, Ms. Brenda travels back in time to discover a happy thing from yesterday.

Yesterday's Happy Thing:  The bathroom project is (essentially) complete.   2

After almost nine months, you wonder how I could have missed this. Ah, the power of THE FUNK.

 **Look for pictures here later today.  Like any 'new baby' pictures, they are not all they could be, they don't capture the true wonder, but they record the end of a nine month wait.  And we're pretty proud of the result even if it just looks like a bathroom to everyone else.

Funky Town

Been in a funk for several weeks. (Jen Hatmaker calls it the doldrums.  But 'down in the doldrums' is way less of a back from the dead blog title.)   Doing what needs to be done.  Minimally.  At the last possible moment.  Plans to dig my way out have been less than successful.  So this week I will try singing and dancing my way out of the pit (and actually getting up off the couch). And I will attempt to list at least one happy thing a day.

Today's happy thing: Buds on the lilac bush.
 
Note:  I changed this blog title before I hit Publish. But if I were not putting this out on the web, you know, if this was just between me and God Himself, I would so have titled this What the Funk.  God would not have been as amused as I was, but I think He would understand.

The Big Reveal???

Good News:  There is running water in the bathroom.
Bad News:  It is running over the new floor under the new vanity and around the toilet.

The Big But Theory

I counted the 7 day arm challenge a success just because I completed it.  Not because my arms were completely transformed in 7 days.  (Midweek I dreamed I did two push-ups--one of the happiest dreams I've had, even it was as far-fetched as my typical dreams.)  I had some mild muscle soreness near where my triceps are supposed to be. And if I flex, and you are kind and/or want to sleep with me, you can see a tiny little bump of a bicep.
Buoyed by my success I moved on to the 7 day Butt Challenge.  I knew I was in trouble early on.  The arm exercises were called things like 'dips' and  'curls'.  The reps were numbers like 12 and 15.  The butt exercises are called 'burns', 'blasters', and the aptly named 'prisoner squats'.  The numbers are like 30 and 100.  I quickly modified the Day 1 workout from 100 prisoner squats to 37 prisoner squats.  I would rather be beaten or placed in solitary than do 100 squats of any kind.  As it was, I could barely go up stairs midweek and going down stairs was 37 times more painful.  Next time, I'll just take the beating at the start.  Day 2 they promised me a behind to rival JLo's or Kim Kardashian's.  I decided 37% of that would suffice for me.  Today is a rest day.   I'm doing the whole workout today. 

SISOP

I just finished the 7 day arm challenge.  The first thing I have actually done after pinning it on my I Could Be Healthy pinterest board.  Today's workout included four circuits of tricep dips done to 'failure'.  I had no desire to do anything to failure.  Let alone 4 times.  Tricep dips were a challenge for me all week.  Seems you have to sit in a chair, place your hands beside your hips and then dip your butt off the front of the chair. And then lift it back up.  Challenge number one for me?  Finding a chair that was wide enough that there was room beside my hips to place my hands.  Really.  Tonight the little pop-up box suggested I might like the Summer Ab Challenge.  I don't think so.  I'm going directly to the butt challenge.

One Crafty Lady

In search of another crafty lady to hang out and paint things with me.
Left to myself these last two weekends I was forced to paint, glue, and glitter all by myself.  In the process, I painted, glued and glittered myself.

 But I also painted my pinecones.  This was on the list to accomplish this year.  So before I put them back in the attic I tipped them with white paint.  In the middle of the living room.  Because the sewing/craft room has been lost in the great bathroom remodel of 2012-13 (14?).

And then I added some glitter to give them that little extra.  Only the glitter is tucked away somewhere in the maelstrom that is the bedroom closet.  So I used a bag of 'sparkle flakes' that was stuck in with the Christmas decorations.  Sparkle Flakes are basically glitter on steroids.

Me:  Boy, a little 'sparkle flakes' goes a long way.
Goob (picking glitter from his cereal bowl):  Yeah, they evidently go everywhere.  And don't call me 'boy'.

What?  You can't wrap your head around Christmas decorations in March?  Well when I took the newly glittered pinecones to the attic; I brought down the Easter box.  And inspired by 'something I saw on Pinterest' (which from now on I plan to abbreviate as SISOP),  I put all the plastic eggs I have accumulated into a box.  And I poured in some paint and stirred them around with my trusty paintbrush.

And put that box out on the porch to dry.  Then I added more paint and stirred again.  And then again.  And then I spread them out in the middle of the living room floor and splattered them.  (Glitter and splatter paint.  What are living rooms for if not for that kind of living?)

And then the plan was to glue those eggs to a wreath form ($0.25 at a garage sale for such a time as this) wrapped in burlap left over from the last door project.  But, alas, the glue gun is lost in the great unknown.  So I was forced to use tacky glue.  Which increased both the time and frustration level of the project.  So I had to simplify.

Still and all, not too bad.  I found the raffia when I was looking for the glue gun.  I'm not happy that the cracks in the eggs show, but you can't see them from the curb.

Total cost of both projects--not counting what I had leftover from other projects--$0.25.
Plus I took the eggs that I didn't glue to the wreath and put them in a jar-ala pottery barn.

Really, if you would just come over and craft with me, think of the fun we could have.
(If you're not the 'crafty type' would you consider just coming over and cleaning my house while I craft?)
I also made cookies this weekend.
Please.

Spelling it Out

Today I am going to take D-I-X-I-E for a S-T-R-O-L-L.  I think she has figured out D-O-G and W-A-L-K and I don't want her dragging her leash after me all morning.  I'm not going out there until it warms up.

James, Beginning to End

7.
Today on my way home from work I recited James.  All five chapters.  Beginning to end.  I know the beginning better than the end because I've been working on this for over 5 months.  But today was the first time I got the whole way to the end. It is a major victory for me.  The answer to prayer and the result of enduring hard work.  See, we count as blessed those who have endured.
My plan is to keep reviewing it so that it remains in my memory.  I picture myself in the nursing home happily reciting Scripture verses. ..every generous act and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.  Then I remember that it will be my second childhood, where the only words I remember and repeat over and over are the ones you wish I would forget.  So I will probably be sitting in the day room, strapped in my chair, screaming "Adulteresses!! Don't you know friendship with the world is hostility toward God!?!?!?!?
You'll visit me, won't you?

Up Close and Personal

14.  Get a mamogram.
Today was the day I had scheduled my mamogram.  In fact, I had scheduled a tomogram--a 3D mamogram, if you will.

FYI:  Tomography refers to imaging by sections or sectioning, through the use of any kind of penetrating wave. A device used in tomography is called a tomograph, while the image produced is a tomogram.

The STP wanted to know if I would get a copy to bring home.  Unlike baby sonograms, evidently it is not customary to receive a printed copy of the image of the inside of your breast tissue, although they will let you look at the image on a screen after the exam.  Little reward, really, for all the squishing that takes place.  Although I was impressed that my 'pressed' version appeared perkier than its real life counterpart.  I think the STP would have enjoyed having a copy.  

Perfect Saturday

Waking up with no where to go.
Finish the taxes before lunch.
Matinee of 'Lincoln' with good friends, the Goob, and the STP.
Shamrock shakes all around.
Halupki casserole ready for tomorrow's fellowship dinner.
New episodes of Duck Dynasty.
Happy, happy, happy.