Touring the Grounds-the Front Porch

I saw this color combination on Pinterest.  (Who's keeping count of how many times I say "I saw this thing on Pinterest."?)

So I used it for the front flower boxes this year.

What they looked like last month.

What they look like this month.  The little white things didn't fair very well.  So I added a few white petunias to the big blue pot.

I was going to tour you around the whole house, but it is icredibly hot and windy, so let's just pour ourselves a glass of iced tea and sit here on the porch swing for a few minutes days.

Sand Pail List Updates

Goob's Sand Pail List
Get a Haircut

Ms Brenda's Sand Pail List
Kayak on the River

Remember when we bought the new deer repellent vehicle with the upgraded roof rack and the ground clearance suitable for hauling kayaks?  Well today we tried them on.  And then we hauled them to the river just south of town.  And we spent a glorious hour on the Big Horn River.

Just me and my kayak.

And the STP and his kayak.

(And in case you were wondering the Big Horn River flows north through Dodge City.)
In addition I got a haircut today.  And I made a bowl of potato salad.  Neither of which was on my list.  Just thought you might want to know.

Over Worked

Maybe that's why I haven't posted in over a week.  Maybe I've been working too much.  In fact on Saturday I logged 19.9 hours.  Since 11.9 of them were call back that is time and a half.  So if you figure that in I worked more than 24 hours on Saturday. ( I totally deserved that Sunday nap.)

In fact, I am just one parking space away from Employee of the Month. 
Although when you work Saturdays, there isn't much of a perk to having a designated parking space.

Paint it Green

I have a birthmark. ( If you've never seen it, or don't know where it is, maybe we need to get to know each other better. ) When I was little I had big plans to paint it green.  It was one of those things I said whenever an adult would ask me about it, and because it was just such a wonderful idea, adults asked me about it over and over.  I guess there is someting irresistable about a four year repeating the phrase "paink it geen".
As an adult, I still have an irresistable urge to paint things green.  Here are some of my lastest projects:
1.  A chair from last year's Garage sale season and paint from the quart of Fern Green paint unending.

2.  I came across this little pink table and benches at a yard sale.  And I was drawn to them.  And the story was that they were built many years ago for a Sunday School room at a local church.  And when the new pastor came, they got rid of all things old.  And the lady whose husband built them years ago took them home from the church (in a bit of a huff, I imagine).  And then years after that she was selling them at a yard sale.  And right then I knew they were meant to be mine.  So I paid for them, and then called my favorite truck owner to come and haul them home.  And he agreed to load and haul them on the condition that I would paint them, because he did not like the pink.  Oh, okay.  I guess if you insist, I will force myself to paint them. 

I put the little benches on the porch.  And the STP felt so strongly about the pink paint, that he accompanied me to the Dodge City Building Center to pick out some other color of paint.  Surprise!  I picked green!

First, of course, I had to sand.  And while I sanded I thought about all the little bottoms that had sat upon those little benches and learned about how Jesus loved them.  And about all the VBS projects that were glued together on that little table.

  And I imagined the gentleman who built those little benches up in heaven looking down and doing a little dance because, I, a woman who loves Jesus and little benches, was their new owner.  (Because sanding takes forever and provides ample time for imaginations.)  The sanding also revealed that the table had once been bright yellow, and the benches had once been orange.  I'm guessing through the seventies.

 And then I painted.  And I thought about the time (in the eighties) when one of my own children slid her little bottom up on the church pew and realized that she had forgotten to put underwear on under her little dress. (Because I was that good of a mother.)  And I thought about all the stories these little benches could tell.  You know,  if benches could talk.

They would probably say, "Hey! You missed a spot!"

Now You See It

Now You Don't

Fee Fi Fo Fun

Once upon a time the Goob went to science day camp.  When his mother went to pick him up at the end of day one, he was seated in the time travel out chair.  It seems his attitude was less than stellar, and his behavior reached critical mass and imploded at game time.  His mother was required to talk to the camp warden director before he could be released.  His explanation:  the games were called 'totally awesome games' and he did not think passing a balloon back and forth from one bed sheet to another really qualified as 'awesome', let alone 'totally awesome'.  His mother resisted the urge to say 'point well taken',  the Goob apologized to the appropriate authorities,  he was allowed to return to camp for day two, and we all learned the importance of not overselling.
At least I thought we did.
Enter Giant Jenga.  As in I wanted to make a giant jenga game (as seen on the internet) for the patio.  And so I suggested it to the STP.  And I thought we could take it on vacation and I could play it with all my nieces and nephews.  And the STP did not think we could transport it across the country.  As in it would not fit in his truck.  (Perhaps a clever ploy to get a bigger truck??)  Because the STP was envisioning a GIANT Jenga game.  Like each piece is three feet long and made from 4x8s.   Like you would need a step ladder to finish the game.  And like it would actually kill the losers when the jumbo jenga tower collapsed. 
Me:  What are you thinking???
STP:  Well you said it was GIANT.
So we decided to call it 'pretty big jenga' and the STP cut the pieces--10 inch 2x4s--and stacked them in the garage.  Where they awaited the next step--sanding.  I offered the Goob money to sand them.  Then the Goob got a job lifeguarding.  And his motivation to get money greatly diminished.  Below the point of sanding 57 10 inch 2x4s.  So this week I decided to take the job myself.  And I decided to pay myself a gargantuan amount.  And 18 pieces in I realized I had definately underbid the job.  And that making your own pretty big jenga game is a colossal pain in the butt.  But while I was sanding I decided to pray for each of my nieces and nephews.  (and why is there not one word in the English language for 'children of my siblings'?)  And the humongous sanding job is done.

  Next I will have to travel outside of Dodge City to get some paste wax to finish the pretty big jenga game.  Because this project requires herculean effort at every turn. 
Hopefully it will be a brobdingnagian amount of fun.

The Goob's Sand Pail List

1.  Get a job
2.  Get a haircut
3.  Read three books (carefully selected by his mother to make him a more productive member of society)
a.  Unbroken
b.  The Aladdin Factor
c.  How to Think Like Leonardo DaVinci
(At this point the Goob decided to take the marker from his mother's hand.)
4.  Get a car

But, yeah for crossing something off the list. 
1.  Get a job   
You go, Goob. 

Training Wheels

The STP and I logged 21 miles so far this week on our bicycles.  First time that I can remember riding on two different days close enough that my butt was still sore from the first day.  (Answering the question, "How long does your butt stay sore when you only ride your bike once in a blue moon?"--At least 4 days.)  And so our training is way ahead of previous Tour years. 
This morning we rode into the wind.  Way harder than riding with the wind.  Just going on record here that I would prefer to ride with the wind and downhill--both ways. 
Next week I will ride short distances with my eyes closed to get ready for tunnel riding. 
And I will shop for bike bag candy.
Oh, I will be ready.

Smash it With A Hammer

When the Princess was here last week we did a few pinteresting things.  One involves my pilot room.  We will wait for the reveal of that, but trust me it is awesome.  And it involved paint.  And a yard sale item. 
Our second project was not quite done when the princess had to leave, so she did not see the finished product.  So this reveal is for her.  The project dates back to the garden stones, and the Memorial Day weekend that she did not make one.  So this Memorial Day weekend we bought a bag of cement.  The biggest bag we could carry.  Which is also the smallest bag they sell at the Dodge City Building Center.  And we mixed up the whole bag.  And we filled things with it.  Like several ice cream buckets lined with rhubarb leaves.  And a one dollar glass globe bought for such a time as this.

And then we had to wait.  And the Princess had to leave.













And I had to wait some more.

On Friday I unwrapped the rhubarb leaf garden stones.

Which have yet to find their final resting place.

But I had to wait until today to smash the glass globe with a hammer.

And scrape off the wax.  Which worked about as well as I hoped it would.  And in fact better that I thought it might...

...to hold the glass bits in place.

And I am happy with the final result.  Very pinteresting, don't you think?

Sand Pail List--Additional Addendum

Soak in The World's Largest Hot Springs

Spend a whole day in my pajamas  (The Goob has already crossed this off his list, but I am still looking forward to my 'Templeton day' this summer.)

Ride my bike.   Through the Big Savage Tunnel. 

Riding my bike is on the sand pail list--things to do this summer.  The Big Savage Tunnel is on my bucket list--things to do before I die.  Been wanting to do this for years.  If I were the adventurous sort I would have 'ride my bike from Pittsburgh to Washington DC' on my bucket list.  (Or would that be my wash tub list?--things that would kill me.)  Anyway, this is the year.  I'm really excited about this one.  In case you have not researched the Big Savage Tunnel, let me offer you a few fun facts to know and tell.  The BST is almost 3300 feet long.  It was originally a railroad tunnel, and is now part of the Great Allegheny Passage bike trail.  It is named for John Savage-- according to Wikipedia--an early surveyor who narrowly avoided becoming a victim of cannabalism in the area in 1736.  Okay, if that doesn't picque your interest, I don't know what will.  Cannibals in western Pennsylvania?  This led me to do a little more research. 

"It was an episode in the winter of 1736, when a hard-luck surveying team wound up stranded and starving in the back country south of here.  Desperate for food, the band mulled cannibalism.

And depending on whose version you buy, ailing surveyor John Savage either offered himself as the entree or was voted weakest link by compadres and put on the menu..."

My father was a surveyor.  He took all of my brothers, and a granddaughter or two surveying with him.  Most of these people will be with me when I bike through the BST.  My strategy when biking with this crew has been to load my bike bag with candy so that they do not leave me (too far) behind.  But now I am wondering if this group of people with a past history of surveying wound up stranded and starving would they vote me the weakest link.  Or view me as the most likely to feed the entire crew.  (Former Local Chubby Woman Feeds Entire Family)

You can bet I will be stocking up on Starbursts before the big ride.  

Say Cheese

Spending an extra long weekend with my first born daughter.  Love having her around.  Not making the same mistake I did when Amidala was here.  Took 278 pictures today.  

She is teaching me new things.  Like if I hold the camera high over my head, my facebook shots will be more flattering. 

Ya think?

Refrigerator Star of the Week

Who this is:  Spencer (and Spencer)
How I am related to Spencer:  I am his favorite aunt
My favorite memory of Spencer:  Him jumping into the creek in his underwear.
My favorite Spencer quote:  "I wished you hadn't telled me that."
What I like best about Spencer:  His magnetic personality


Adding "update the refrigerator magnets" to the sand pail list.

Honest Race Recap

Honestly...
1. I did 'run' the 5K on Saturday. 
2. I started out strong.  
3. I passed every one of the other runners. 
4. I finished with a PR for my over 50 races. 
5. I placed second overall. 
No, really.  All true. 

Okay, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? 
1. I did not walk any part of the 5K. (Goal met!)
2. I ran the first 12 feet along side another woman, then I had to slow down because I knew the pace was much too fast for me to be able to sustain and finish.  (She was running with her dad who was about 102 years old.  He passed me about 24 feet into the race.) 
3. It was an out and back race so I passed everyone when I was on my way out--and they were on their way back.  (To my credit--I didn't pass anyone in my first mile, so no one was running twice as fast as me.)
4.  It is the only race I have run since I turned 50.
5.  I placed second in fundraising.  (I won a t-shirt and two complimentary weeks' membership at the fitness/wellness center.  I regifted the t-shirt to the Goob and the gift certificate to the STP.)  I did finish ahead of the 'walkers'.  Maybe more importantly, I did finish.  And one more thing off the sand pail list.
Run a 5k.
Noticed the Dodge City Gazette Editor was there with his camera.  Expect this weeks headline to be Chubby Woman Runs 5K.  Hopefully they print the pictures on an inside page.

Like Sand in a Sand Pail

3.  Run 5K
4.  Run a 5K

Bouyed by my success at wogging a little over three miles this am, I went ahead and registered for a 5K this weekend.  It is being run on my usual running path and starts just three blocks from my house, so it won't get any easier than this.  And I could register online.  Which means I didn't have to actually face anyone and say I planned to run a 5K. 
Since Parenthood is no longer on TV, I have a new favorite TV show.  Duck Dynasty.  Unlike Parenthood, which was a TV family that I wanted to be part of, Duck Dynasty is the TV family that makes me glad for the family I am a part of.  I tell you what--there are more quotable moments in that show than I can remember.  Here is my favorite Phil quote from last night's episode:  (What?  You missed it?  Come on over-I have it DVRed and I will gladly sit and watch it again with you.) 

Local Chubby Woman Eaten by Alligator. 

I tell you what.  A man who speaks in headlines makes me 'happy, happy'.  Too bad this week's Dodge City Gazette has already gone to press.  Expect the headline would read, "Local Chubby Woman Registers for 5K."  And, just for registering, I got my own web page.  You can check it out here.  I expect to have a PR for my official over 50 races.  I'll let you know how it goes.



Pounding Nails

While I was assembling my pallet edging I hit my ring finger with a hammer.  How exactly I managed to whap the end of my ring finger while hammering a nail is still an unanswered question.  Because I was in such I-might-throw-up-pain right after it happened that I don't have a clear memory of the actual event. (What I do have is a is a purple swollen ring finger, with nail that might fall off in the not too distant future.)  I had to lay down flat on the floor while I iced it because I thought I might pass out.  Obviously I could not pound any more nails and the STP had to finish the edging. 
All the while Izma's voice was ringing in my head.  "Smash it with a hammer."
Not exactly brilliant, I tell you.

A Bloomin' Miracle

The other day I was walking past the neighbor's house admiring her flowers and noticed that she has a yellow iris.  I have iris, but they are all purple.  I have had them for four years.  I used to have a yellow iris at my old house.  And I wished I had a different colored iris here. I  thought briefly about my alternate hands and about digging out the neighbor's iris, but she has a dog who barks, and I hardly ever just dig flowers out of front yards of houses where people are still living. 
But the next day, right in the middle of my purple iris, was a peachy pink iris.  That had never been there before.  And the STP thinks it just never bloomed before.  But I'm thinking it was a miracle.

A little gift to me from God Himself.  A little reward for not digging out the neighbor's yellow iris. 

Sand Pail List addendum

2.  Go to the drive-in.  See a pirate movie.  Eat popcorn.  Laugh my booty off.

Sometimes it is good to have accomplished something on the list before you even know it is on the list.   Aaarrr.

What Happened on the Patio

I know what the sign says.




 But regardless, I am going to tell you something that happened in the side yard today. 
First you should know there is a side of the back yard I never show you.

This is the side you usually see.  The hosta and the stolen peonies (let's just call them what they are, since we are being honest about the side yard).  But just a few feet away is this:

A totally unlandscaped wasteland.  I had no ideas and an inadequate budget that has kept me from doing anything except sitting with my back to it.  The STP is tired of weed eating along the chain link fence.  So this week his OCD-self decided to do something about it.  He priced edging.  He talked to the men at the Dodge City Building Center.  He made me look at low bamboo edging on the internet.  He made me think about it until we came up with a plan. A plan and some pallets.  A man and his sawzall.

Goob:  What are you doing?

Me:  Arranging these boards so they look random and unarranged.  AAARRR

Goob:  Just saying Aaarrr at the end of a sentence does not make everything alright.

At the end of the day (and a total cost of less than $9.00) the STP had a weed eater friendly edging.

And my ostrich plume fern has a new home. 

It is supposed to grow 4-6 feet high.  I think that will take a miracle.  Or at least some miracle gro.

The STP also went for a bike ride with me today and cut the boards for the giant jenga game.  Have I mentioned lately how much I like that guy?

Flamingo Invasion

The local youth center is doing a flamingo fundraiser.  Where they put a flock of tacky  pink flamingoes in your yard and make you pay money to have them removed.  This week they put them in my yard. 

One problem.  Tacky pink flamingoes are right at home in my yard.

 So I was not highly motivated to pay to have them removed.  I contemplated keeping them.  But then the local youth center staff contemplated charging me rent for the flock.  So I had them come and get them.  And I paid extra to have them delivered to the front yard of my choosing.  I did not, however, pay the 'flock insurance' that would keep them from coming back.  Just in case someone wants to send tham back where they belong.

So Little Time

On my sand pail list--which is like a bucket list only just for the summer.  I have had one of these for years--just didn't know what to call it.
1.  Watch and catch fireflies with Claire and Nick