In A Jam (In a Scrape)

A three ingredient recipe.

Apricots.

Sugar.                                     Lemon juice.

One instruction:  Stir.                                     FOR--EV---ER.

Add an apricot kernel to each jar.  Because that will give it an almond-like flavor and is very French and elevates your jam making experience from something your grandma might do to something Julia Child might do.

Ooo La La!

(I just mention this because if I cook again next week, you will know that something is seriously wrong.  Like a new level of hormone imbalance.  Or a brain tumor.  Or an early Fall.)

Things You Can't Learn From Google

If you already have a game warden for a friend, or you can't find a game warden to be your friend, might I suggest you get a friend with an apricot tree in her backyard.  A generous friend with a bumper crop of apricots.

What to do with 2 gallons of apricots?  Because it is summer, and because I used the oven just last week, I opted to do the simplest thing possible--dry them.  So I googled 'dehydrate apricots' and I watched a very helpful video which showed me how to pit my apricots and then told me to put them into my dehydrator.  And can I just say if I owned a dehydrator I wouldn't need to google how to dehydrate apricots.  But for your entertainment I took a few pictures of myself pitting apricots.  Which are much easier to pit than cherries.  

  And 80 times less messy.

 And almost fun.

My favorite part was 'popping' them.

And then, because I wanted sulfite free dried apricots, I rinsed them in lemon juice/water.

And then, since my oven would not set as low as 135 degrees, and because I live in a high plains desert with near triple digit heat and near zero humidity, I creatively set about dehydrating my apricots.  I did one batch in my compost sifter.  Set out in the sun.  With aluminum foil underneath to reflect more heat.

The Goob observed that apricots in the process of dehydrating look a lot like sweet potato pac-men.

And I did one batch on a cookie sheet.  And some on cookie sheets and wire racks.

 And then I put those cookie sheets in my car.  Which turns out to be a pretty good dehydrator.  And while it is expensive as far as dehydrators are concerned, it is not one of those single use kitchen tools that I detest. 

Some helpful things Google didn't warn me tell me about dehydrating apricots without a dehydrator--
1.  The front untinted windows in your car will work better than the back tinted windows. 
2.  The wire racks work better than just flat on a cookie sheet. 
3.  Wash your compost sifter very well before using it to dehydrate apricots. 
4.  Apricots drying in your car are less susceptible to squirrel attacks and stray bird droppings than apricots drying on your patio table.
5. A gallon of apricots makes just over a quart of dried apricots.

 (I got those jelly jars and that two quart canning jar FOR FREE at a yard sale.) 

6.   Once you start googling 'things to do with apricots' it could lead to making jam in near triple digit heat. Which defeats the plan to 'do something simple and involving no cooking' with your apricots.   



Time Flies

My month of reserved parking and my reign as Employee of the Month is coming to an end.  Just another note I didn't mention:  My official job title is Medical Laboratory Scientist.  Abbreviated Med Lab Scientist. And misspelled in the EOM announcement as Mad Lab Scientist.  Really.

Heart Mountain

The Goob and I had Monday off.  So we went to Heart Mountain.  Because it is on the sand pail list and summer is headed full speed towards the end of itself.

Me:  We are going to Heart Mountain this afternoon.
Goob:  Have a good time.
Me:  We.  As in you included.
Goob:  (Silent WHY accompanied by internal eye roll-imperceptible to all but his mother)
Me:  Because it is my duty as your Mom to educate you in matters of history and prejudice.
Goob:  I have a prejudice against museums.


The Heart Mountain museum does an excellent job of telling the story of Japanese Americans 'relocated' during WWII.  Even the Goob ended up engaged.  And hopefully a little less prejudiced.

Blue Beary Pie

Hey look!  The kitchen counter is clean.  There is no sign that some very serious baking  has gone on here.  Like three pie serious.

Hey wait!  What is that on the table?  Could it be a blueberry pie, made with fresh blueberries?

Say what?  I own a grizzly bear cookie cutter?  Oh , yes I do!  And I know how to use it.

Ta Da!  Ms. Brenda bakes a blue-beary pie. 

 Oh, and a blue-coyote pie. 

And a rhubarb crumble pie if you are keeping count.  It just took me the better part of a day--to psych myself up to do it.  And one whole morning to put them together.  And the better part of the afternoon to clean up the mess.  I hate pies.

Putt Putt, Kiss Kiss

Played a round of mini golf with the STP this past weekend.  And maybe for the first time ever I beat him.  And I got a hole in one on the last hole and won a free game.  Not too shabby. 
But the shot of the evening belonged to the STP.  Who had hit his ball onto the neighboring green.  (Not the shot of the evening, but part of the reason I managed to beat him.)  And then used his putter to flip the ball back onto the green we were playing on and right into the hole.  Unbelievable.  And we were standing there in awe lamenting that there was no video, and describing it to someone who had missed it.  And then the STP set up the shot again.  And made it again. And there is still no video and not even a still picture.  And the description does not do it justice.  So you will just have to trust me how amazing it was. 
I am proud to know that man.  I might treat him to another game before the summer ends.

Who Is That Masked Woman?

I got new sunglasses.  Prescription sunglasses.  Polarized so I can be a better fly fisher woman.  I am really happy with them.  I imagine they make me look like a movie star.  Because I really don't know what I look like in them.  So I took a picture of myself.  And maybe I look more like a blind woman wearing really thick dark glasses. 

Which will be equally impressive when I am fly fishing.  Look at that chubby blind fisherwoman.  Indeed, the fish may be stunned.

Local Chubby Woman Shares 10 Quick Kayak Facts

1.  Old chubby women have difficulty entering and exiting a kayak gracefully.
2.  There are numerous helpful videos on You Tube to educate old chubby women.

3.  Helpful kayak videos feature young thin people and delude old chubby women into believing that they, too, could get into and out of their kayak quickly and gracefully.
4.  It would be helpful to watch the video more than once before attempting to exit your kayak onto a rocky shore.  (Especially if you happen to be an old chubby woman.)

5.  You should know when to quit if things are not going as smoothly as in the video.
6.  You should definately quit before you are in over your head.  Literally.








7.  A PFD is an old chubby woman's best friend.
(Although a STP with a good sense of humor is also helpful.)








8.  You should test the water tightness of your camera case before you put your camera in it and submerge it.
9.  A kayak can take on a lot of water in a very short time if it is turned over in a lake.
10.When kayaking, it is helpful to take a set of dry clothes along. 

Hope you find these facts helpful.   Because I will not be shooting any instructional videos for You Tube any time soon.

Miss You Like Crazy

(Really, why didn't we take at least one decent picture of ourselves?)

Touring the Grounds--the East Side

from the front porch looking North

from the patio looking South--I picked those little sunflowers on my morning walk with the SLD

From the SFG looking South.  The bed to the right is a new one this year.  Still working out the watering of that one.

A new perennial at the foot of the ladder in that bed.  A Peach Melba Heuchera.  This picture actually does it justice, but it is much more magnificent in my mind.

My Japanese fern (Recall that it should grow to 6 feet in height) has reached the 6 inch mark.  It did not fair well in the heat, but it is recovering and it had a baby last week.  Not bad for it's first year on the East Side.

Basil in a pot.  Remember when I pinned this on Pinterest and said I was going to do it?  TaDa!

I also have a pot of chives, and oregano.  The lemon basil did not do well. And the orange mint shrivelled and died while I was away ziplining.  I continue to water it in hopes that it will resurrect.

This is the lilac from Stuffmart from when the Goob ran 7th grade track.  Bigger than the fence.  It's yellow blooms disappoint me each spring, but the plant is growing well.

Coneflowers against the front fence.  This area needs some work.  It has great potential.  I just haven't invested much time on it. 

My favorite picture that I took in the East yard today.  I'm using it as my screen saver.  Because I am celebrating that my camera still works after the kayak incident...

Reason I Have a Kayak

I Believe I Can Fly OR Does This Harness Make My Butt Look Big?

(This is one in a series of vacation recaps that I need to do so I don't forget that I did this.)

As always, I am in love with the color green.   And on vacation I was surrounded by green.  I felt like I wanted to soak it in.  I even loved the green weeds.  So when my favorite nephew's twin brother suggested I go ziplining with them through the tree tops, my immediate reaction was, "Are you kidding me?"



My encouragers

But he is so cute and persuasive that I decided I would do this thing.




 I really hadn't thought it completely through.











 Because you have to wear a helmet.

On the plus side I got to hang out (literally) with Princess Amidala. 

On the negative side she thought it would be a good idea to take a few pictures. I'm filing this one in the "I wished you hadn't showed me that" file.

I replaced 'go white water rafting' with 'go ziplining' on my sand pail list. 

This Just In

Employee of the Month announcement was today.  And the parking space is mine.

I SPY

In a bizarre summer anomaly, I was moved to bake something this week.  And I was so caught up in the recipe (because it involved more than three ingredients) that I forgot to take pictures for my cooking blog.  Until the Strawberry Rhubarb Coffee Cake was already in the oven.  And the kitchen looked like this:

And, clearly, I am better suited to write an I SPY book than a cookbook.

2 eggshells, a cutting board, a green bottle cap,

1 Pinterest recipe and 2 butter wraps

Measuring spoons, a knife, a pot, and a pan,

A compost canister and a watering can.

All of Us

Crossing "Take a Family Picture" off the sand pail list.

This is a picture of the STP and me.  And my parents, all of my brothers and sisters, all of their spouses, all of their children, all of my children and all of their spouses and all of their children. 

 To date.

No one not already in the family was invited to spend the week with us.  This is a protective measure because of the fear that anyone who sees what they are getting into may not want to get into it.  Nevertheless we expect the family to grow.  But for now--this is all of us.

Big Savage

Here we are at the entrance to the Big Savage Tunnel.  I have already ridden twelve miles at this point.  I have given up dressing like someone who rides a bike.  Instead, this year I went for cool, comfortable, and somewhat stylish.  I have kept the helmet as part of the ensemble, not because it is cool, comfortable, or remotely stylish, but because I might be the one who ends up crashing into the weeds.

The tunnel was cool on several levels.  Mostly I was glad to have accomplished this item from my bucket list.  The STP rode through the tunnel with me.  Up to this point I was riding pretty close to last place because I was riding with the handicapped division--those who struggle with an uphill grade.  I expected that my riding buddies would be waiting at the exit to the tunnel to cheer me as I exited. 

Here we are exiting the tunnel.  For the second time.  Because I made the Slovakian Princess return to this point and stage this picture.   After this point I was definately riding in last place.  Because not only did no one wait to cheer my triumphal exit, they did not slow down to take pictures with me at the Mason Dixon line.  To their credit, they waited for me at the end before they went for ice cream.  I breifly entertained the idea of being a more serious biker.  And evidently I can not entertain an idea and ride a bike at the same time. 

Regardless, cross 'Ride my bike thru the Big Savage Tunnel' off the list.

Whoa, Baby

Been out of touch for 10 days.  Saw TV pictures (with no sound) of Tom and Katie on my way through the airports going to vacation.  Figured  they were adopting a dozen Haitian children or funding research on alternate energy sources.  Imagine my surprise to find out that 10 days later they have reached a divorce agreement.  Anything else I should know about that happened last week?