Currently Unemployed

Farewell to Brenda

Our lives have been blessed with your faith and your humor,

And now that you're leaving (it's not just a rumor!)

Wait!! An E. coli, two Campys!! Your dreams here fulfilled!

We knew you could do it, we knew you were skilled!

We wish you the best that Greybull can offer...

Great friends in the church, and many days off, or...

Perhaps a new line of work you'll pursue...

Some cooking! Some blogging!

Who knows what you'll do?

But while your mind's ticking and your camera is clicking,

Please think of us once in a while.

For who do you know, among your good friends,

Who can handle bulk poop with such style?

We're sad that you're going, but excited as well,

About all the stories you soon shall tell!!

So jot down some thoughts, save a picture or two,

Enjoy shopping at WalMart (heard your choices ar few.)

And know that we send all our prayers, all our love...

You could only get more from our big God above.

I used to work with some really good people....

Sage Advice

When you spend a week with your family you learn some things. About your nieces and nephews, about your Aunts and Uncles, about your parents, and about yourself. This is a little advice to some first time kayakers from their Uncle Ron. Listen closely...

Porch Swinging

10 years ago I bought a porch swing. All by myself. It was advertised in the Penny Saver as an antique porch swing for $25. The guy I bought it from said it had been his Grandma's.
Dave was just slightly less distressed than the porch swing when he saw it. He became slightly more distressed when he found out I had actually paid money for it. I loved it from the beginning. Grudgingly he repaired it. Lovingly I scraped, sanded and painted it. It hung on two porches. It only crashed to the floor twice. It has been repaired and repainted several times. It was in it's prime. But it was time to move on. So we advertised it on Craigslist (the electronic version of the Penny Saver) as an antique porch swing for $25--Just like your Grandma's swing. Within twenty minutes we had two inquiries. The first ones came to look at it the next morning, but it was not exactly what they wanted. Good thing, because the person who bought it was meant to have it. Here are copies of her e-mails:

Please sell it to me! I can pick up asap!! Call me or send me address to google. I'm in love w that swing!!

10 minutes later:

Oh I so really want this swing. It would be going to a great home. Please make my day?
Sorry to bug ya

And after she knew she was second in line:

:(
Keep me posted?!

And after she picked it up (less than 18 hours after we posted it):

Just wanted 2 say thanks!! The swing is $25 of sheer delight! I am so glad it worked out. Thanks 2 ur kids too for their help. I really am so happy! Dont feel sad for ur swing will be loved the rest of its days!

Somehow I think this may have been her swing all along and I was just keeping it for her for 10 years. I was happy to do my part.

I have a new porch swing for my new porch in Wyoming. It doesn't need repaired, but I will have to paint it. (When Dave isn't looking!)

Unrenewed Contracts

I got my cellular bill today. $465.83 in 'valid charges'. I was on hold for almost an hour with a very accommodating customer service representative--who couldn't do anything for me unless I first renewed my contract. It wasn't like he didn't give me a choice. I could choose to renew for 12 months or 24 months. I chose none of the above.
I suggested that when my bill approached $300.00 in text message overages that they could have given me a heads up. You know--they could at least have sent me a text message.
The service rep wanted to know if I had any problem with dropped calls. I used 14 anytime minutes on my cell phone last month. They didn't have time to drop any of my calls. That works out to $33.72 per minute. No wonder they are so anxious for me to renew my contract.
I didn't send or receive any text messages on my phone. As inept as I am at texting, they would really like me to start doing more of it. They charged Amanda 20 cents per message for every one of the 1500 messages after the 300 I had already paid for. I'm sure they would want to charge me per minute, since that would be more profitable for them.
I suggested to Amanda that 1800 text messages per month=60/day. At a minute each that's one hour spent texting/day. She suggested that that's her 'cigarette breaks'. I suggested it would be cheaper to smoke.
At the end of the day Amanda has unlimited text messaging on her phone and her mother suggested she take up smoking.
I tried to think of something clever to type here, but I couldn't think of anything except CU L8ter. Clearly, I am not the texting type.

Can I Pet Your Dog?

Dixie went to the Fourth of July parade. She wore her red, white, and blue and was very well behaved. She was a magnet for little kids. It was a great day to have a dog. Who would have guessed we would ever be dog people.

Running Recklessly Through the English Language

Last evening Alex informed us that he planned to run recklessly through the neighborhood. As in not running into anything or causing any trouble. I believe that word would be 'wrecklessly'. Often we tell Amanda as she is leaving the house to 'drive recklessly and take risks'. It is because she found our advice to 'drive cautiously and be careful' a tad on the ridiculous side. As if she would do anything but. So when we tell her to 'drive recklessly' she knows we mean 'be careful because we love you tremendously'. Guess maybe we should explain that to Alex before he gets a driver's license.

reck·less
[rek-lis]
–adjective
1.utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution; careless (usually fol. by of): to be reckless of danger.
—Related forms
reck·less·ly, adverb

Questions Alex has that I have no good answer for:
1. Why is monosyllabic such a long word?