Monday, November 30, 2009

Ten Extra

101. Monday Night Football
102. Frosty windowpanes
103. Candlelight
104. Holding hands
105. Clean sheets
106. Christmas lights
107. Snowflakes
108. Eyelashes
109. Scotch tape
110. A God who loves me

Oh Come, Oh Come

Tonight we ate something other than turkey for the first time since last Wednesday. (The STP made liver and onions. The Goob can't believe he misses the turkey.) I'm still very thankful, but it is time to look ahead. We went to see Disney's Christmas Carol this weekend. We put up the tree. And I hung the mittens on it. And in the mittens I put chocolate bells and kisses. And tomorrow we will take the kisses out of the first mitten and eat them after breakfast. Tonight we read chapter two of Tabitha (where she meets Jotham) and lit the first candle on the advent wreath. Three weeks from tomorrow we leave to head 'Back East' for Christmas. Can't wait!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Old Spice To The Rescue

Many, many years ago, when I was thirty six... (oh, I just had the desire to do this whole post in rhyme :) ) ..I discovered that I was pregnant with our 4th child. It was a little shocking. About two weeks later a new shock wave rolled over me as I realized it could be a boy child. I didn't know anything about raising a boy child. Fortunately at the time I worked with some mothers of boys who assured me that changing a boy diaper was easy because everything is all sealed up. Where are these sage mothers now that I really need them? I've read a good number of books and articles on parenting. I've been parenting long enough to have been through three of Dobson's series (From film to VHS to DVD) including 'Bringing Up Boys'. I must have missed this chapter/class every time.

We have reached a new stage in our Mother/Son relationship. In my book on parenting this chapter will be titled " When He has More Hair on His Lip Than You". When my girls were this age we went to the mother/daughter class at Lee Hospital. We learned about deodorant, mood swings, periods, and we got a little package of feminine products to examine at home. I still don't know anything about boy children. So clearly the education of a boy child at this age should fall to his father. Thus we find ourselves in the health and beauty section of StuffMart looking at shower gels. The STP is choosing appropriate hygiene products and attempting to explain their use to the Goob. I excuse myself to use the restroom. When I come out of the bathroom I run into the Goob, who also excused himself from the hygiene lecture. We meet up with the STP at the checkout. He has chosen a little Old Spice shower puff. Only it is not called a puff. It is called a shower tool. A deck scrubber. And it comes with instructions clearly written for male persons. It advised you that members of the gentler sex do not appreciate dirty smelly things. And reminded you to lather everywhere and don't forget to wash behind your everything. And then it included pictures. (Because Old Spice manly men never read instructions) The first picture shows gel going on the puff. The second picture shows lather on the puff. The third picture shows the puff on a upper arm. And the fourth picture shows a muscular bicep with a tattoo. (I know this because I felt compelled to read the instructions out loud to the Goob.) And the STP suggested that if the Goob did not follow the instructions that either his father or his mother would have to shower with him.
Me: Oh, will I have to wash behind his everythings?
Goob: How about I save us both from that and just follow the instructions.
And the next morning...
STP: Did you use your shower tool?
Goob: (Flexing muscle.) Yeah, but I'm not sure it's working.
STP: What? No tattoo?
I must say that he smelled good when I hugged him. I know this because he is now so tall that my nose pretty much lines up with his armpit when I hug him.
I don't even want to talk about shaving.

Take Your Antlers to Church Day




Remember the whole antler thing? Measuring and scoring? Well yesterday we took it to a new level. The wonderful guide who took Dave deer hunting (and brought him safely back) called Saturday and asked him to bring his antlers to church on Sunday. He wanted to get a group picture. (I think these are all hunters that hunted with him. Not all of the successful hunters in the church.) So imagine a group of guys standing around in the parking lot after church comparing their antlers. Okay--you don't even have to imagine. I took a few pictures for you.
They even held them up to each other to compare them.
Some were more disgusting than others.
But, as in most guy things, the smellier the better. In fact, I'm going to look a little closer at that score sheet. Smelly and disgusting may be worth additional points.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Mirror, Mirror

We traveled to Billings today to make a hospital visit. And I darted into Kohl's. And I went into the dressing room. And I just want to change the sizes on my want list from L to XL.
The disadvantage of not ever going into a dressing room is that you go long periods of time without facing the reality of yourself in a dressing room mirror. OUCH! Definately not my favorite Kohl's dressing room experience. Sad day.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Don't Need Anything...

...Except this ashtray...
I've started thinking about Christmas Lists. And my Christmas list in particular. And not just the list where I write down the things I am giving. I've really been thinking about what I need. And I really don't need anything. And since I live outside the realm of actual stores, I don't know what is out there that I might need. So I have compiled a list of things that I want. So in case you need to gift me with something you'll have an idea where to start. (I have spent all my money on plane tickets to PA so my gift to you will be my presence. Shop accordingly.)

1. A gorillapod. (My original one broke on the fly fishing trip.) For my new little digital camera that Santa will bring me. Unless you want to gift me with a camera. Then I want one of those little Nikon things with the touch screen that Ashton Kucher takes to parties . Don't worry--Santa can return his.
2. A book about flyfishing. Essential Fly Fishing by Tom Meade
3. A book about Wyoming wildflowers. A Field Guide to Rocky Mountain Wildflowers by Frank and John Craighead OR the National Audubon Society's Wildflowers: Western Region OR Weber's Rocky Mountain Flora. Any of the books on my want list can be used. I plan to use them.
4. A book about tying my own flies. The Benchside Introduction to Fly Tying by Ted Leeson and Jim Schollmeyer. And some fly tying tools and supplies. Because I don't have enough unfinished projects in my life.
5. A pedi-egg and foot lotion. Since the clutter gene is apparently linked to the dry scaley feet gene.
6. A kayak. I was planning on using my Christmas club money to buy two kayaks, a couple of PFDs, and paddles. But instead I spent it on plane tickets. Maybe next year.
7. A Motion Plus Accessory for my Wii remote and a pink silicone case for my Wii remote with motion plus accessory. Since I will most likely be only virtual kayaking again this year. At least I want to do it with style.
7A. My own Wii remote. So I can play in party mode.
8. Pretty tops and/or lightweight sweaters. Like the kind they sell in stores with dressing rooms. Like Kohl's. Or figure flattering styles like they sell at Coldwater Creek. I would accept gift cards from either of these places, but I would rather you pick them out. You know what I like. Size L
9. A new picnic blanket. Pieced together out of genuine polyester double knit squares. Backed with a polyester sheet. Preferably lime green. Knotted together with yarn, although this detail is of minimal importance. This would be the best gift I ever got. (Except that leather wallet I got when I was about twelve. With the mushrooms on it.)
10. Ear muffs. Like the kind on the back of the LLBean catalog that wrap aound the back of my head. Just because I saw them and I want them.
11. A new flannel nightgown. (Unlike the books on my list, I want this to be new.) Because my old one is worn out. Size L
I hope that's enough to get you started.

First Nine Weeks

The Goob had a great first nine weeks of eighth grade. As his sister would say,"All 'A's and a couple of 'B's." (To which her sister would reply, "Abi, a couple of 'B's is not all 'A's.)
But it was enough to make the Gold Honor Roll.

And any time the words Excellence and Perfect are used are good times. (Even if they refer to attendance.) Good Job, Goob!

Also, FYI, there are more students in the Middle School than there are weeks in the School year. I did the math myself. Just in case you were wondering.




Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Home Stretch

91. Maps
92. Living with the student of the week
93. Imagination
94. Sunshine
95. Clear starry nights
96. Almonds
97. Paint--all sorts
98. Blooming cacti
99. Colors
100. Lists

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Date Night

About the middle of last week the STP suggested we go on a date. How was Friday? Friday was good. But what to do? Where to go? We ruled out a movie, and a restaurant, and bowling. And then we were completely out of ideas. So we stayed home and played Wii together. Raving Rabbids. I choose it because it is not really competitive. (The last time we Wii'd together it ended badly. Let's just say it was a good thing our kayak was of the virtual reality or things would have been very bad and possibly very wet.) As soon as we unlock a few more levels on the Rabbids game we can play in the 'Party Mode'. Which I think means that up to four of us can play at the same time. So I'm putting a Wii remote with the special motion hickey-do and nunchuck and maybe even a balance board on my Christmas list. Because when it comes to party mode--I'll be ready.

Weekend Roundup

72. Diet Pepsi
73. Pamida
74. Toasters
75. Bagels to toast
76. Navel oranges on sale
77. The Big Room
78. Church family to share The Big Room with
79. Prepositions
80. Girls who get along and get together
81. Boys who let them get together and get together with them
82. Girls who have birthdays in November
83. Giving birth in November (even if it was 27 years ago!)
84. House guests who do their own laundry
85. Tortilla chips and nacho cheese
86. Football on TV
87. Not being in Pgh when the Steelers lose
88. Better Homes and Gardens magazine
89. sweaters
90. Big ideas

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Thanks Again

55. Skype
56. Unlimited minutes and time to use them
57. Abi--who knows what is really important
58. Baby Nick--safe and warm in the police car
59. Vacumm cleaners
60. Husbands who are not freaked out by tiny dead rodents
61. A clean house
62. A warm house
63. Flannel sheets
64. Sisters who call me just when I'm thinking about calling them
65. Bank holidays
66. Bird feeders filled with bird feed
67. Hope
68. Daffodil bulbs and 60 degree weather in November
69. Gluten free enchilada sauce
70. Clothes dryers--and Stasi to remind me to be thankful for mine
71. Prairie Mama for teaching me I don't have to stop at ten

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Twelve More

43. Fresh fruit
44. Balancing at the end of my day at the bank
45. Text messages
46. Doilies
47. Friendly post office clerks
48. Almonds
49. Sharp pencils
50. Tumbleweeds
51. Magnets
52. Respectful 13 year olds
53. Eating out
54. Chicken noodle soup

Monday, November 09, 2009

End of the Hunt

I would love to be able to give you a tutorial on Wyoming hunting, but I did not immerse myself in the sport with the same fervor as I did with fishing. So I can only tell you what I've picked up in bits and pieces as a rather disinterested bystander. Don't rely on this information.
Like fishing, you have to be here a year to get a resident license. So this was the STP's first chance to hunt as a resident.
Licenses are awarded in some complex lottery system involving at least 18 forms, except for general licenses which you can buy at the grocery store. Even then, they are only good for various animals at various times and in various locations. The locations are assigned numbers. There is a corresponding map for each license. If you are good at this you do not need the map because you have the numbers memorized. You say things like, "Did you draw 41?"
FYI The STP got his deer in 124.
There are blue lines on the map, but not on the ground. So I think non-residents must hunt with a resident guide who knows where the lines are. If you ask them how they know, I'm pretty sure they say, "There's a map for that."
Also like fishing, but to a much greater degree, you need an outfit. Said outfit includes layers: wicking underlayers, warm wooly midlayers, and waterproof outerlayers. You need these layers for your feet, your legs, your body, your hands, and your head. All of this should be camouflaged-even the underwear for some reason I don't understand at all. The camo is brown--so you blend in with the dirt. You will need a gun, shells, and a knife, binoculars and handwarmers. You should make these purchases on several trips to various outfitters so it is harder for your spouse to keep track of how much you have spent all together. Think of it as camouflage for the checkbook. You will need to pour over the Cabela's catalog all season for other things you need. Rangefinders, GPS, walking sticks, etc.
Please note: the November morning the STP shot his deer it was 55 degrees and he was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt he already owned, and his Pirates ballcap. But trust me--it's not usually like this.
Two things are very important about your hunting stories. First is the size of the rack. There is a complex way to measure and count and calculate and rate the antlers. In PA I think you just count the points. Here you give a series of numbers. Don't worry too much about this. Cabela's has a little rotary calculator to help with this. Put it on your wishlist (or just order it online).
For instance, the STP had what looked to me to be a beautiful 10 point. In WY reality it is a 5 by 5, category B (?) 24 inch something or other.
The second thing that is very important is how far the shot was. You measure this in yards. In is unsportmanlike to shoot a deer that is too close. I think this has something to do with the lack of trees. The idea is evidently to disguise yourself as dirt and sneak up on a deer and get close enough to get a shot. 200 to 300 yards seems like a good number to throw out there if, like me, you have a depth perception problem and don't yet own a rangefinder.
After a successful hunt and an exhausting haul out, you can load your trophy on the back of the truck and drive it through town. Stop by at least one friend's house to show it off. (If your wife is working at the bank, it is acceptable in Dodge City to drive it through the drive-up window.) Also, stop to get gas in the truck so complete strangers at the gas station can admire your trophy.
My favorite part of the successful hunt is that now the STP can get his hair cut. (And I have real antlers for my antler art projects.)

A Little Retreat

I took call at the hospital this weekend and because it is just a little too far from home, I had to sleep over. At the hospital. I had room 101. Fortunately, the hospital was not at capacity so it was a private room. I had just a few hours of work and a lot of time to think. And read. And pray. And watch the Giants lose. And knit. And nap. And talk on the phone. And be thankful. Here are a few things I was thankful for:
32. That I wasn't in the hospital because I was sick.
33. That I was testing other people's kids for influenza and not my own.
34. That I could see the mountains out my window.
35. Orange yarn and circular knitting needles
36. Peace
37. Quiet
38. A family that can care for themselves and each other for a weekend
39. A family that was glad to see me when I got home
40. Hugs
41. Kisses
42. Toothpaste

Thursday, November 05, 2009

I Hate To Be The One To Break The News...

...But I can't lie to you. In fact, Abi, you never had a childhood. Your 'real mother' dropped you off at our house and I just created memories by talking about things we could have done and staging a few photographs. Also, you loved coleslaw as a child and I'm sure I never let you have any. And those memories you have of 'playing' in the snow? I just put you outside because I couldn't stand your whining any more. And your real mother let you buy candy in the checkout aisle. And there's no such thing as the tooth fairy. I wrote those letters about the importance of brushing your teeth, and all those rotten little teeth I have saved in my jewelry box probably aren't yours. Or your 'sisters''.
But don't tell them any of this. It'll be our little secret. (They'll figure it out when they have their own kids.)

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Keeping Up With Amanda

21. Hot chocolate
22. Milk chocolate
22. Afghans
23. Flannel nightgowns
24. Someone to snuggle with
25. Nieces who blog
26. Pecans
27. Apples
28. Caramel
29. Husbands who cook supper
30. Chicken in a bag
And taking the lead...
31. Apples and pecans covered in caramel and chocolate

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Off To A Good Start

11. Sunrise
12. Full moon
12a. Sunrise and a full moon at the same time
13. Pink and purple clouds
14. Bird feeders
15. Sunflower seeds
16. Plastic pink flamingos
17. Yard sales
18. Online shopping
19. The Package Man
20. The post office and home mail delivery

Monday, November 02, 2009

Thankfully

Things I am thankful for--2009 edition:
1. My youngest daughter ,who reminded me of my thankful list.
2. My middle daughter, who did not remind me that I never got to 100 last year.
3. My oldest daughter, who may or may not know that it is November.
4. My son. Thankfully, there is only one.
5. My husband, who loves me. Period.
6. My granddaughter, who knows how to 'leave a message'.
7. My grandson, who couldn't be any cuter.
8. My sons-in-law, who love my daughters.
9. My jobs, which will pay for #10.
10. My plane tickets home for Christmas.

Speaking of Minimal Effort


The Goob wore his bedsheet ghost costume again this year. The big difference from last year is that he is so much taller that the ghost appeared to be floating rather that dragging along the ground. (And he tripped over his costume less.) On his way to a party, he made a few stops where people had their porch lights on. His theory is that people with their porch lights on WANT kids in costume to come to the door so they can give them candy. (I'm not sure they want to give candy to six foot tall bedsheet ghosts carrying pillowcases.) Here he is with the best part of his 'haul'. What a Goober.

Power Pumpkin Carving

I bought my pumpkin along time ago. It sat on the back porch because I bought it too early to even let any one see I had a pumpkin. I mean the kids were hardly back to school. But suddenly it was Halloween night and the pumpkin wasn't carved. It was already dark. And there was no way to get a candle inside the pumpkin. And no plan. So we just had to wing it. With a prayer and a power tool.






First we cut off the top (like Stasi suggested).

Then we searched for the pumpkin carving tools. Which were probably never on the truck.

So we decided to use the drill. And no pattern at all.

And then, just because pumkin carving is a good excuse to stab things with a knife, we used a knife too.

And then we put the candle inside and put it out on the porch. The front porch. Where it was less than impressive. But really, it is more about the process, isn't it? Isn't it?
I wish I had a really cool picture of it in the dark, but that would have required me to go outside and work with the camera, and, obviously, this was a minimal effort Halloween year.
You should just go to Ami's blog and see her pumpkin.
(I taught her everything she knows about pumpkin carving.)