Old Spice To The Rescue

Many, many years ago, when I was thirty six... (oh, I just had the desire to do this whole post in rhyme :) ) ..I discovered that I was pregnant with our 4th child. It was a little shocking. About two weeks later a new shock wave rolled over me as I realized it could be a boy child. I didn't know anything about raising a boy child. Fortunately at the time I worked with some mothers of boys who assured me that changing a boy diaper was easy because everything is all sealed up. Where are these sage mothers now that I really need them? I've read a good number of books and articles on parenting. I've been parenting long enough to have been through three of Dobson's series (From film to VHS to DVD) including 'Bringing Up Boys'. I must have missed this chapter/class every time.

We have reached a new stage in our Mother/Son relationship. In my book on parenting this chapter will be titled " When He has More Hair on His Lip Than You". When my girls were this age we went to the mother/daughter class at Lee Hospital. We learned about deodorant, mood swings, periods, and we got a little package of feminine products to examine at home. I still don't know anything about boy children. So clearly the education of a boy child at this age should fall to his father. Thus we find ourselves in the health and beauty section of StuffMart looking at shower gels. The STP is choosing appropriate hygiene products and attempting to explain their use to the Goob. I excuse myself to use the restroom. When I come out of the bathroom I run into the Goob, who also excused himself from the hygiene lecture. We meet up with the STP at the checkout. He has chosen a little Old Spice shower puff. Only it is not called a puff. It is called a shower tool. A deck scrubber. And it comes with instructions clearly written for male persons. It advised you that members of the gentler sex do not appreciate dirty smelly things. And reminded you to lather everywhere and don't forget to wash behind your everything. And then it included pictures. (Because Old Spice manly men never read instructions) The first picture shows gel going on the puff. The second picture shows lather on the puff. The third picture shows the puff on a upper arm. And the fourth picture shows a muscular bicep with a tattoo. (I know this because I felt compelled to read the instructions out loud to the Goob.) And the STP suggested that if the Goob did not follow the instructions that either his father or his mother would have to shower with him.
Me: Oh, will I have to wash behind his everythings?
Goob: How about I save us both from that and just follow the instructions.
And the next morning...
STP: Did you use your shower tool?
Goob: (Flexing muscle.) Yeah, but I'm not sure it's working.
STP: What? No tattoo?
I must say that he smelled good when I hugged him. I know this because he is now so tall that my nose pretty much lines up with his armpit when I hug him.
I don't even want to talk about shaving.