Not Exactly Gold, Frankenscense, and Myrhh

Alex has two complete weeks off from school. He doesn't have any work to do over the break, and he is beyond the years of bringing home ornaments, or little gifts for Mom, but he didn't come home empty handed. He snuck in with a little stomach virus, which attacked him last weekend. He shared it and the STP and Amanda got it on Tuesday. By Christmas eve everyone was feeling well enough to go to church and eat Aunt Sara's taco dip. By 1am Christmas morning I knew what my three gifts were going to be. Chills, vomiting, and diarhrea. Once I got the first one, it was just the anticipation of the others that made the night go so fast. By morning, I actually felt better (but I have no desire for any more of the taco dip) and spent the day on the couch. All of the buckets in the house are back where they belong. Next episode: the blizzard.

Winter Wonderland

Joy To The World

I Had This Great Idea...

...for our Christmas picture. Unfortunately, we had to wait for Amanda to get here and then when she got here it was 12 below zero and because I have many years of experience trying to get my family to pose for a Christmas picture, I knew better than to ask them to do this in below zero conditions. So Saturday it went to 7 above. So we went to take the picture. Along the highway.

The great idea involved changing the population sign. With white electrical tape. It also involved Alex on Dave's shoulders to accomplish this. And Amanda on Dave's shoulders because I wasn't happy with where Alex placed the '9', and he refused to do it again and Amanda (who has more Christmas picture experience recognized the crazed look in my eye and didn't want to hear for the rest of her life how we never got the picture in 2008) agreed to climb up and move the '9'.

The great idea also needed a one hour photo developer which we found one hour from here. It involved e-mailing said photo and driving an hour to pick up the prints. And so today I was just going to pick up a box of cards in town and mail out those great pictures. But, of course, I live in DODGE CITY where there are no boxes of Christmas cards. So now I can not send out the cards until I actually have them and I'm thinking the nearest cards are probably an hour from here. And it is 5 degrees and snowing. And I'm not going out there. So here is the picture:

Please note that it is not photoshopped. We really changed the sign with electrical tape, stood along the highway in single digit weather, and took this picture of ourselves. If I could photoshop, I would have taken the picture in October, changed the sign with photoshop and photoshopped Amanda in. But what fun would that have been?

Last Minute Gift Ideas

1. A Pedi-egg.
2. Photoshop

Regifting Ideas

Things I would like to give back or away:
1. My Dad's feet.

Not Normally Like This

It is minus double digits outside today. Neither car will start. Amanda is here. We are going to make hot drinks and watch the abs of steel video. And stay in our pajamas all day. And try to clear yesterdays dishes off the counter before Dave and Alex get home. But if we don't get that far down our list there's always tomorrow. When it will be well below zero again.

I Really Need To Stay in More

Over the weekend I was the female chaperone for the youth group at a teen conference/concert in the big city. When the STP was a YP (youth pastor) for 10 years, I did not even once serve as an adult chaperone to anywhere. Alex asked me to go , so I thought it was a good thing that he thought I was cool enough to travel with the youth group. Turns out they were just desperate for a female chaperone. Turns out that last year a teen girl spent the entire weekend throwing up. And the female chaperone spent the entire weekend cleaning up and driving her to meet her mother half way home. No one told me this ahead of time. I only found out through snippets of conversation. Like these:

Why didn't Lisa come?
Her Mom wouldn't let her because she spent the whole time last year throwing up.

Do you want to eat at McDonalds?
Oh yeah, this is the McDonalds where Lisa threw up last year.

Surprisingly, last year's chaperone was busy this weekend. Too busy to spend the weekend with 8 teen girls. Know what's worse that 8 teen girls? Eight tired teen girls. Know what's worse than really loud music? Really loud music in the dark with strobe lights--trying to keep track of eight teen girls. Evidently there is a good reason the YP never asked me to chaperone with him.

The headline band was skillit. I can't tell you anything about them, except that they were loud. Some of my teen girls got their autographs. When they showed them to me, I just said
Wow, groovy!
because I couldn't read their names. Unintelligable writing and unintelligable lyrics but evidently they are really good because they are 'like my favorite band'. And evidently there are lyrics. Because some teen girls were singing along at the top of their voices. At least I think they were singing. I couldn't really hear anything and it is difficult to read lips of screaming teen girls.

So my plan to get out more is going really well. I have other things to blog about, but I am way too busy. I'll try to update more often. But to do that I would have to stay in...

C, I'm Still Thankful...

61. Christmas trees
62. Colorful lights
63. Candy Canes
64. Cocoa with mini marshmallows
65. Cough drops
66. Cars that start
67. Co-workers
68. Celery
69. Carrots
70. Cosmic brownies

Building Relationships on a Ladder

True to my pledge to get out more, I ate supper at the bank last night. It was the 'decorating party'. Starts at 5:30. Pizza and chicken, decorate the lobby, and Santa comes. Simple enough if you've done it before. Just a few complications if you are new. Bring the family? Yes. Kid's sit in Santa's lap? Yes. What time do we eat? You ask a lot of questions.
(The last time Alex visited with Santa he asked for a tape dispenser to tape his sister's mouth shut. Fortunately, this was in the days of his speech impediment and Santa didn't really have a chance to figure out what he was saying before I tore Alex from his lap. He was three.)
I talked Dave and Alex into attending with me. I decided to attend for 1 hour (and make our getaway before Santa arrived). I fed them a little supper at home in case the pizza arrived after we left. So, of course, they were eating right at 5:30. By 6:00 we were standing in the lobby looking at a ginormous tree. A handful of kids were hanging ornaments on the bottom two branches. And there were two strings on lights on the top of the tree. Everyone else is standing around looking at each other. So Dave gets the ladder positioned and so as not to leave him hanging, I climb up the ladder and attempt to string lights from branch to branch.
Lest you think this is a lovely picture, let me remind you that I have gained 15 pounds in the last four months. I am still wearing the same jeans. I have cleverly disguised my mushroom stomach with a Christmas sweatshirt. When I look in the mirror I remind myself to keep my stomach sucked in and stand to the back of the crowd. But, no, instead I climb up on a ladder in the middle of the room, above everybody's head, and raise my arms in the air. Lovely.
By the time I come to my senses, I realize it is time to go. I take what little dignity I have left and make a hasty retreat. Dave and Alex decide to stay and finish the lights and wait for Santa.
Santa brought Alex a great personalized sweatshirt. Dave got to meet some of the people I work with. I got out of the house and a piece of pizza. Like I needed that pizza.

I Gotta Get Out of Here

I have discovered why it is getting more difficult to post. I don't get out enough. I don't really know where to go to look for adventures, but I am getting motivated to start looking actively for one. Or two. But not many more than that for right now. I'll let you know how it goes. Until then here is how the Fern Green Table turned out.

Before:

After:

On With the Show!

51. Comments
52. Paychecks
53. Mrs. Potts
54. Big mugs
55. Countdowns
56. Gluten Free Oatmeal
57. Recipes you can count on
58. Pomengranate 7-up
59. Diet Pepsi
60. Hope