How Was Your Trip?

In January I made a trip home.  To see my new grandbaby. To exchange Christmas gifts with my brothers and sisters and their families.  To celebrate my Mom's 80th birthday.  To see my Dad.
When I got back everyone asked the same question:  How was your trip?
And I didn't have an answer.  I didn't have a blog post.  The absolute wonder and joy of holding the firtstborn baby of my firstborn baby.  The absolute unfairness and sadness of Alzheimer's disease. Helping to change diapers-on men 4 generations apart. How do you process that?
Since I have been home, Levi learned to smile, my Dad forgot how to, and my brothers and sisters and I have talked and exchanged more text messages than we care to recount.
Today Stasi posted a picture of Levi sleeping peacefully.  Today my brother left a voicemail that my Dad died peacefully.  How do you process that?
Today I booked another trip home.

The End of Parenthood as We Know It

Parenthood (You know, my favorite TV show) ended for good this week.  Back in the early years I wanted to be married to Adam Braverman, but in the years since I thought of him more like my big brother.  I will miss him. The end of my TV family puts a lot more pressure on my real family.
Usually I work Thursday evenings and watch the show later in the week from the DVR without the commercials.  This week I was off Thursday evening, but I started watching late so I could fast forward through the commercials.  The STP was running the remote.  What he didn't realize was that I needed the commercial time to cry and recompose myself between segments.  So there I was awake at three in the morning.  Crying.  Replaying in my head the scene where Zeke tells Sarah she is his favorite and she tells him he has been the best dad.  Sobbing.  Because I will never have that conversation with my dad.  Even though I am his favorite and he has been the best dad.
I got up to blow my nose and wipe my eyes, and moved on to the baseball game scene.  So reminiscent of the game we played in Cambridge. And I realized that the Bravermans got nothing on us.

 In fact, whatever the Bravermans had for the last six years, we have more.  More drama.  More problems.  More brothers. More sisters.  More nieces, nephews, grandkids, and great grandkids. More meals and games in our parents' backyard.  More squabbles.  More laughs.  More love.

And if we were a TV family,  I'd still be the favorite.  Just saying.