Raiders of the Lost Sermon Notes

Today's sermon revolved around the story of King David bringing the Ark of the Covenent back to Jerusalem.
So here's some of the conversation from our lunch table:

Q. What 3 things were in the ark?
A. The 10 commandments on stone tablets.
A jar of manna. Turns out it was a gold jar-not a canning jar as some of us imagined. And indeed it was not in the form of manicotti. And manicotti does not closely resemble a machete as one pre-teen at the table imagined.
Aaron's staff. This led to some rather interesting investigation and discussion about what things Aaron's staff had been used for, what things Moses' staff had been used for, if Aaron ever used Moses' staff, and were there almonds in the ark.

Q. What does it look like when someone is smote?
It seems that it is more involved than just falling down dead. Like it would involve little wisps of rising smoke. This led to more questions about the present and imperfect forms of the verb. Words like smite and smitten. Somehow smote seems worse than smitten, and smitily or smotingly may not be words at all.

Q. Was David's linen ephod loosely woven?
This might explain why Michal was so upset. It would also be a generous explanation of Stasi's pants. There's not really a hole in the butt of your pants...they're just loosely woven.