One Little Indian

The STP and I ordered our kayaks at the same time.  We each chose our own kayak and paddle with the idea that we would compare them and see which we liked best. Not that it was a contest or a race or anything, but the STP's kayak arrived first.

I attempted to track my kayak on-line.

I waited two days past the 'estimated delivery date' to call about my kayak. 
I call the shipping company that was to deliver the kayak.
Me:  My kayak is late.
Shipping Company Representative:  Let me see about that.  Please hold...( Hold... Hold...holding longer than estimated holding time....)We don't have your kayak.  We can not deliver your kayak because we never picked up your kayak.  Because your kayak was not released for pick up. You will have to contact Amazon and have them release your kayak.  Then we can pick it up and deliver it.
Me:  So even though 'my order has shipped' and I have pick up and delivery dates, the kayak has not gone anywhere? 

The Shipping Company Rep explains the difference between an estimated pick-up date and an actual pick up date.  She suggests I call Amazon and have them 'release' my kayak.
I use Amazon's contact us on-line service where I enter my problem on-line and Amazon calls me.  The phone rings.  It is Amazon.  They instruct me to hold for a representative.  (The ultimate in customer service is where the company calls you to put you on hold... Hold...hold...holding to very bad holding music....)
Amazon customer service representative probably named Rahib:  How may I help you?
Me:  My kayak is late.  I want you to release my kayak.
Rahib (Reading from a fill-in-the-blank item-did-not-arrive-as-expected script): I am sorry for the problem with your kayak.  I will connect you with our large items department.  Please hold...
(Hold....Hold...Holding just a little longer while Rahib explains to the large items rep that he doesn't know what my problem is...)

Amazon Large Items Customer Representative:  How may I help you?
Me (Reverting to the Goob's third grade fill-in-the-blank anti-bullying script):  MY KAYAK is LATE.  When my kayak is late it makes me feel cranky.  I want you to give me a dollar.
ALICR:  I am sorry for the problem with your kayak.  Do you still want the kayak?  I can release the kayak for shipping today and credit your account $30.00 for the inconvenience.
Me:  Could you please hold while I consider your offer?  

The STP is waiting patiently for the arrival of my kayak.
 
The actual shipping date of my kayak is May 12th.  The new estimated arrival date is May 19th.