You Might Be From Wyoming If...

...before your flight you are researching airline FAQ for info on what qualifies as a firearm and if its okay to travel with mule deer steaks in your carry on.

More Good News/Bad News

123456...the sequel
Good News--I got to work at the not quite itty bitty healthcare facility on Friday afternoon.
Bad News--My car began making a funny noise on the way to work.
Good News--I managed to get pulled over to the side of the road.
Bad News--It was in the middle of nowhere
Good news--I had cell phone reception AND the STP came and rescued me
Bad News--I was late to work on the only day I worked this month
Good News--The STP got the car hauled home
Bad News--When the STP started the car, the engine blew up.
Good News--No one was hit with flying pieces of aluminum.

What does it say about your day if the good news is that no one was hit with flying pieces of your engine block?

Good Weekend to be a Cowboy

The University of Wyoming Cowboys win their bowl game in overtime and the Dallas Cowboys defeat the undefeated Saints. Yeehaw!
In other football related news--I talked to Amidala during the second half of the Steelers game. The STP muted the game so I could hear. So it was like watching the game as if I were deaf. And Amanda was not near a TV, so I was describing the action and providing color commentary. She said it was like watching the game as if she were blind. (Only she was driving at the time so it was a good thing she isn't really blind.) I told her things like Roethlisberger is a really long name and its a good thing Ben has broad shoulders. And I told her whenever Ben got sacked. And she said, "Oh, that's a horse and buggy!" And I thought that must be an Eastern PA phrase that meant, "Oh, drat!" But really the oncoming traffic was a horse and buggy. Like a real horse pulling a real buggy. But, all the same, we will henceforth use the phrase 'horse and buggy' anytime things are not going our way.
Roethlisberger to Wallace? That's no horse and buggy.

Counting Down, Wrapping Up and Cutting Out

Starting to get excited about Christmas. Only have to work one more lunch at Dodge City Federal and 12 hours at the not quite itty bitty health care facility. Have a place for the dog to stay. Wrapping and stacking and thinking about packing presents. Looking forward to wrapping my arms around my babies (and their babies). Watching the weather reports. It is good to have something to look forward to.
Found the best cookie cutters ever this week. Bought one for Abi and one for Sara and one for myself. Can't tell you what they are yet because I don't want to ruin the surprise. But trust me--they are the best. I also bought an extra one in case I need to have another give-away to increase readership/comments.
All good stuff.

Did You Hear About the Havener's?

My sister called to see if I was in the witness protection program. Seems she saw the trailer about the new movie "Did You Hear About the Morgan's" about a well to do couple from the East coast who witness a murder and are swept away to WYoming. She should have known it wasn't about us at 'well to do'. And I haven't witnessed any crime lately, and contrary to what my mother believes, I have not committed any crime which warrants excommunication to WY. But then I watched the trailer myself. And it does seem that maybe some Hollywood type has been reading my blog and stealing, er, gathering ideas. So I went back through the last year here and if there is a scene in the movie about buying a flyfishing outfit then I will sue for royalties.
And then I figured out who Lil Chickie is. The writer/producer.
So I am just glad that Sarah Jesssica plays me and that Hugh Grant is cast as my adoring husband.
We have been in WY now for over a year. Here is how I know:
1. I drove the car in Billings last week and was perturbed by 'all the traffic'.
2. I didn't feel the need to report to you that it was 25 degrees below zero last week. All week.
3. The Steelers lost-again-and I got out of bed the next day.
4. I went to a Christmas party at the Elks and didn't take sneaky pictures of the numerous mounted elk heads on the wall--even though they were all wearing santa hats.
5. I know several women (besides Sarah Palin) who can field dress a moose.

H G TREE V

HGTV has taught me about staging. It's not really what you have. It's more about how you present it. So instead of having a 14 yr old fake tree in my living rom, I have a vintage tree. And I don't have old cheap handmade ornaments. I have handcrafted family heirlooms. And they are not chaotic or mismatched. They are an eclectic mix. And just so you know, that is the 'in' thing this year.

Who Wears The Pants?

The pictures of the girls in front of the tree brought back some memories. We were so poor back then we couldn't afford shoes for the girls. And they had to share a pair of pants. But they had no idea they were poor. They used to think it was was fun to see who got to wear the pants.
(Since the silverware story is really set at Eastertime, you should check out John Henry Faulk's Christmas Story from NPR for a good 'poor family at Christmastime' story.)
We still hang candy canes and the same snowflakes on the tree, but it looks like the year Amanda was born we were too poor to afford any stripedy candy.
Hope we all get an orange in our stockings this year.

Speaking of Geeks and Convicts...

Just so you know...we've never been very good at this.

Not Because We Didn't Try

Time again for the annual Christmas card picture. In addition to our usual challenges of total disinterest, last minute timing, and not being the most photogenic family in the world, this year we were also working without the benefit of the gorillapod. No problem--we'll just hold the camera and take it ourselves. Let's stand here in front of the Christmas tree.
Goob: Here, I'll do it. My arms are the longest. Not quite. Let the STP try it.
STP: Smile!

Let's try and get everyone in the picture. One more time.

Goob: Rolls eyes

STP: Smile!

Even though the STP was concentrating so hard on getting everyone in the picture that he forgot to smile himself, the STP and the Goob consider this a great success. As they prepare to leave the room...

Me: I'd prefer that we not all look like geeks and convicts in the Christmas picture. (It's not really what you say--it's how you say it.)
Maybe if we were further away we would look better. Let's set the camera across the room and use the timer.

Oh, we are getting so close. Let's kneel down. Maybe all of our heads will be in the picture and the tree will look taller. Ingenious.

Now as soon as we write the annual Christmas letter, we will be getting this in the mail to you.

Dear Santa,

I'd like a growth spurt.

More Than One Way To Melt a Glue Stick

Ms Brenda's Medical Minute...

...OR Does Ben Rothelisberger Even Have One Brain?
Today I want to weigh in on Ben Rothelisberger and his wussy concussion. Since I am not in Pittsburgh I do not get the all-Steelers-all-the-time news. But I figure if the NFL Network is discussing this, that it is all any one in Pittsburgh is talking about. So here is what I think:
If Ben Rothelisburger was my son and he called me last Thursday evening and said he had a headache, I would have told him to quit right then. Forget Sunday's game. Forget the playoffs. Forget his 'career'. (I'm guessing he might already have forgotten quite a bit.) I'm pretty sure I would have said, "You only have one brain. And you have rattled it around in your head enough. Just quit." And then I would have called the school, er, coach. And I would have said that my Ben will not be playing football this week. Or next. Thank you very much. And then, as much as I like Hines Ward, I would have just shot him a text message. Mind your own business. Period.
In my file of 'Interesting Articles' I have a clipping from Sports Illustrated. About the underappreciation and misrepresentation of head injuries. About the conclusion that athletes who sustain multiple concussions risk permanent impairment. About the slowed ability to process information following a concussion. About how the sports community overall needs to reevaluate how they diagnose and treat concussions. The article was in SI in response to another NFL quarterback who suffered his 4th concussion in three years.* The article was from October 11th,..... 1999. 10 years ago. This article was of interest to me ten years ago because my one of my precious daughters took a soccer ball to the head at soccer camp one evening. (Her camp evaluation noted how 'tough 'she was.) I told my precious daughters who played soccer back then to avoid heading the ball at all costs. I told them they only had one brain. I told them I didn't care what the coach said. None of them are playing professional soccer today. I'll take the blame for that.
*This probably explains why Steve Young has trouble stringing together commentary that makes any sense.

Oh Where Is My Glue Gun

Tonight I wanted my glue gun. To glue a string of Christmas lights to a bucket. And I don't know where my glue gun is. I found the empty box where my glue gun should be. I tried to remember where my glue gun was when we packed up the truck. And I have no memory. I have a bucket. I have a string of Christmas lights. I have a great idea. I know I have a glue gun. I just don't know where it is. I am planning to spend the day tomorrow looking for it. So if you have it, please let me know. Or just live with the guilt. Your choice.
I have been watching Clean House episodes since the day before Thanksgiving. It serves two purposes. First-encouragement. I have convinced myself that, even at its worst, my house is not 'that bad'. Secondly-motivation. It causes me to strive not to let my house get 'that bad'.

(I also caught the beginning of a show about hoarders. This is a show to encourage and motivate you when your house already qualifies for a clean house episode.)

So today I emptied two more boxes from the pilot room. (My glue gun was not in either of them.)