Sheriff's Report

Recent activity of the Big Horn County Sheriff's Office:



Oct 6--Ten black cows were reportedly

roaming on Greybull River Road. A deputy

responded but the cows had already gone home.





So those things you were planning on doing until the cows came home? You can stop now.

It's All About Mii

So we got a Wii. You know to celebrate the end of the first nine weeks. So far all we have is the WiiSports. So Alex made me a Mii. Which is a little figure who kinda looks like me. And together we played baseball, and bowling, and golf, and tennis. My Mii is just as coordinated as I am, so it is challenging to play these sports. We had to play two games of baseball and bowling, because I won the first games and evidently you can't go to bed if you've been beaten by your mother. Here is my Mii:
Then Alex convinced me to try boxing. (Only one can play this at a time because we only have one little dohickey to attach to the thingy controller. I am going to add a dohickey to my Christmas list so we can box each other.)





I should tell you that I do not think boxing should be legal, let alone a sport, and certainly not a sport children should have any exposure to and, if it were a sport, civilized women approaching 50 should definately not have even the slightest interest in it. That said, I found myself leaping about the Big Room, flailing both hands in the direction of the TV, while my Mii beat up a Mii named James. And a Mii named Steve, and several other Miis whose names I didn't bother to remember. And today after lunch I thought briefly that I could probably figure out how to turn on the Wii all by myself and just KO a few Miis.
Oh yeah, here's Mii and my bad self. (If I could attach music here, I would have Chicken Little sing "Wii Are The Champions".)

And today my arms are sore. Probably from painting.

Slowest Fence in the West

This is the gate that goes in the front of the yard and finishes the fence. We managed to piece it together on Saturday. And today I brought it inside to prime it because it is too cold to paint outside. We have no idea how to install the gate. But isn't it cute? I primed it this evening, but it was too cold to go out and try it on. But you know I wanted to. We have one more gate to piece together for the back of the yard. But all the pieces are cut and I primed the pickets this evening as well.
Also FYI Dave mowed the grass on Saturday. If you don't get real close it looks like a yard. Well, half a yard.
Also, FYI, the color behind the fence in the picture is 'pumpkin butter' and three walls of the Big Room are now that color. The final wall will be 'fall leaf'. Hopefully while it is still Fall.

Let's Make a Deal

Alex called after school on Friday to say that he was at a friend's house for his birthday party which happened to be a sleepover and could I bring his sleeping bag and his pillow and anything else he might need ,but please don't bring anything embarrassing. I said I would have to talk to the mom of the friend to verify that he actually was invited to an actual birthday party and forget the sleepover because he had to get up early on Saturday and be a decent person. He called later to beg to spend the night because I am the same person who tells the dog I will absolutely not feed her from the table and then slips her a piece of meat if she begs long enough and because Alex knows I am this person. So I said he could spend the night but he would have to promise not only to be a decent person, but to have a positive enthusiastic attitude about the trip to Yellowstone on Saturday. He spent the night, but as with most middle school overnighters there was no sleep involved. So he slept the whole way to Yellowstone. See him not in the welcome to Yellowstone picture?

When we got to the mudpots, I decided to call in my favor and made him get out of the car. Here is the video from the mudpots. Listen carefully and you can hear the Princess comment on his wonderful attitude.

(The Princess swears she has told me how to work with my video, but evidently I am hopeless. Just touch your right ear to your right shoulder and press the play button...)

He did perk after I reminded him of our little deal. That is him playing in the geyser steam.

And here he is propped up along the road with the rest of us--in the quintessential Yellowstone family picture. Are we making memories, or what?

Where Have You Gone, Joe DiMaggio?

When you don't blog I miss you and think terrible things about you. When I don't blog, I miss myself.

While I was gone Stasi and Micah came to visit, the fence began to stand upright (in the yard instead of the garage), I did a little match making, and I went to Yellowstone for the last time this season, saw Old Faithful erupt and ate at the Snow Lodge and at McDonalds and at the Chinese restaurant in Dodge City. I took pictures of most of those things with the best intentions of sharing them with you. But a week has passed and instead I have pictures of the bacterial mat around the geyser basins in Yellowstone. I know, everyone else has pictures and video of Old Faithful and I have shots of the ground around the edge. It could be worse. At least I am not sharing video of microbes.

I picked colors for the big room. Pumpkin Butter and Fall Leaf. Now I am deciding what to hang on the wall. My first thought was that I should hang mounted animal heads. But since I didn't have any, then I thought maybe I should hang pictures of animal heads on the wall. In sepia tones, so that it has that authentic western look. Or maybe western landscapes. Or shots of Dodge City. But then I hit on this great idea to enlarge and frame the pictures of the bacterial mats from Yellowstone. Authentic Western Art. I'm pretty much a genius.

I tried to move these things around and I only succeeded in underlining a random bit of the text. Forget what I said about being a genius.

Yoda Was There

Saw Yoda's car while we in Montana last week. Good thing he drives a Subaru, because Montana got about three times as much snow as we did today. There is no 'try'. Do or do not.

Wyoming Word of the Day

ven·i·son
[ven-uh-suhn, -zuhn]
–noun
the flesh of a deer or similar animal as used for food.

The Game Warden says that venison is the meat of any antlered animal. So in my freezer I have 'venison' frozen in camo freezer bags. I am unsure what similar animal it originated from. Maybe it is better that way. I also have some meat that is clearly labelled 'antelope'. So if you have any good antelope recipes let me know.

Cooking has not been one of my strengths, but now that I will be cooking 'game' meat it should be a lot more fun anyway. And the adventure continues..

This Is Not Normal

Ever since we arrived here 2 months ago in 103 degree heat and 0% humidity people have been telling us that whatever weather we are having is 'not normal'. Evidently they don't usually have this much heat, cold, rain, or wind. This morning I woke up to this. Several inches of snow and several more predicted before the end of the weekend. Even the meteorologist on the Weather Channel said this snow in Wyoming was not normal. So all I know is that I have no idea what normal is here. Except this is not it.

I was wondering when I could stop watering the grass. Now I know. I had been lamenting that I didn't have any fall decorations on the porch. Not to worry. I'll just move on to Christmas. (I think the sled was on the truck...)

This is a really great place because you can take your picture for your Christmas card the first of October and beat the holiday rush. If only I had had the forethought to have the Christmas decorations out on the porch.

And to all a goodnight.

Bailing Out

Now that I am a bank employee, I feel it is my duty to comment on the rescue plan, formerly known as the bail out.
Previously, all I knew about bank crises I learned from the movies. Mary Poppins and It's a Wonderful Life to be exact. In one I learned that tupence can cause a run on the bank and people will lose their jobs if that happens and if you want to feed your money to the birds you might as well. Then go fly a kite.
In the other I learned that your money isn't really in the bank. It's in Joe's house. And banking is complicated by fat men who want to own the whole town and who have only their interests at heart. And if at the end of the day you still have two dollars you should kiss them and put them back in the vault.
This week at work the president of Dodge City Federal issued a question and answer sheet to help us answer people's concerns about the stability and safety of their money in our bank.

Q. How safe is our bank?
A. Very safe

Q. How do I know you're not just saying that?
A. Good question.

(Actually the answer to question #2 involved something about foreclosures but since neither the Bank's nor the Bailey's ever had any foreclosures on their houses I don't have a frame of reference for this kind thing.)

Just so you know there were also three more pages of questions and answers. So there you have it. We will be effected of course by the bail out, er, rescue as it results in more regulations. We will probably have to charge more fees. I think that's how it will work. Yeah, that's it. I think I'm ready to have a financial blog as well. Unfortunately, I will be on retreat this week with PD. Fulfilling my role as pastor's wife. So the financial world will have to blunder on without me this week. As will you, since I expect I will be too far from civilization to update. But I'll be thinking about you.

I will be near Butte, Montana. I have no idea where that really is. All cities in Montana start with 'Bs'. Billings, Bozeman, Butte. Like Ohio with 'Cs'. Cinncinnati, Cleveland, Columbus. And PA. Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. Does that confuse anyone besides me? I wrote that really small so stalkers can't find me. Notice I used a lot of code names as well. Pretty tricky, huh?

Toe Jam Wham

For Jesse--

The Measure of A Man (4-Him Lyrics)

This world can analyze and size you up

And throw you on the scales

They can IQ you and run you through

Their rigorous details

They can do their best to rate you

And they'll place you on their charts

And then back it up with scientific smarts

But there's more to what you're worth

Than what their human eyes can see

Well you can doubt your worth

And search for who you are and where you stand

But God made you in His image

When He formed you with His hands

And He looks at you with mercy

And He sees you through His love

You're His child and that will always be enough

For there's more to what you're worth

Than you could ever comprehend

Oh I say the measure of a man

Is not how tall you stand

How wealthy or intelligent you are

Cause I found out the measure of a man

God knows and understands

For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart

And what's in the heart defines

the measure of a man.

Choreograph that.

Tom Sawyer

Here is the fence that I scavenged from the neighbor's yard. (They weren't using it.) I looked around to see what kind of fence I would like and I liked theirs. So I knocked on the door and introduced myself and asked if I could have their fence. And they thought about it and decided I could. There were a couple of problems. Like how I was going to get it from their yard to my yard. And the fact that it looks like it belongs in a scary cemetery. But I did not let that deter me.

I got six ten-foot sections from which I should be able to salvage about 3 pretty good sections. Some of the wood is in bad shape, but that is what gives it character. I like it. I have been working on sanding and today I started priming. Notice that there aren't any people in my fence pictures. Mark Twain would have you believe that if you start painting a fence people will show up and beg to help you. And give you things in the process. Here is the sanding. And the painting.

But no helpers. Dave says maybe I didn't look like I was having a good time. I don't think my passersby would know a good time if they saw one. Cause I was having a good time. I offered Dave the choice of sanding or painting and he chose painting. If he could have chosen to pass by he would have, but I didn't offer that as a choice. Doesn't he look like he is having a good time?

We also walked over to the building center and bought posts. Now I just need someone to help build the posts and reassemble my sections into a fence in my yard. Maybe Micah would like to do this. While he is here he can build me some storage cabinets over the dog kennel. And a few 'built-ins' in the big room. You know, in keeping with my 'craftsman style' house. I'd let him do that for me, cause I hate to keep all the fun to myself.

A Story of 3 (or 4) Moms

Story #1--Mom # 1
Or should I call her #1 Mom?
When my mother was a little girl there was a truckload of people going down the street in her little town. A child in the front seat stuck his head out the window to shout something to someone in the bed of the truck as they were going past a telephone pole. The back of the child's head struck the telephone pole. My mother recounted this story any time one of my six siblings or I stuck our head out the car window. Or any time we drove past a telephone pole. And occasionally at bedtime. Just to remind us NEVER to stick our head out the car window. Consequently, and because I have a visual image of this accident created in my head, I never allowed my children to stick ANY body part out the car window. Not your head. Not your arm. Not your feet. Don't let me see your little finger wiggling outside the window. Or I'll have to tell you Grandmas's gruesome story of the little boy from Summerhill.

Story #2--Mom #2
And that is too high to be a ranking. Just ordinal.
One day, on the way to vist my mother, I had Abi strapped safely in her carseat in the back seat and the window down just a little, (You know, just in case she forgot and tried to stick a body part out.) when the child started screaming hysterically. You know the kind of scream that involves blood or pain. I glanced back, pulled over, examined the child and could find no reason for her distress. I calmed her and continued to drive about 10 minutes to my Mom's house. When I unbuckled Abi from her car seat and lifted her out a dead bee fell from the folds of her shirt. The bee had flown in the window as I was driving 55 mph down the road and stung her while she was strapped in the car seat. How was I to know?

Story #3--Mom #3
Hang with me--I'll connect them in a minute.
A six year old is strapped in her car seat. The window is down just a little. She ties one end of the jump rope to her hand and puts the other end out the window. It wraps around the axle and severs her hand. She screams, her mother pulls over. And sees a bloody stump. With no reasonable explanation.

Mothering is something you always keep learning. You learn from books, and from your Mom's advice. And her mistakes and your own mistakes. You learn to ask questions and you learn to ask better questions. (Will there be a boat?) But at the end of the day you find out that there is one more thing that you should have done or one more thing that you could have worried about. And sometimes you just find yourself on the side of the road wondering what the heck just happened here?

One reason it is good to have your kids close together: If you mother for too long it is too hard. On everyone.
So as Alex goes out the door to school I tell him to be honest, respectful, responsible and not to tie a rope around ANY body part and put the other end out the car window.

Story #4--Mom #4
Claire will be a year old tomorrow. She has a great mother. I resist the urge to call her and ask if she's seen that news story about the little girl and the jump rope. Mothering is hard enough.

Sometimes the best thing to do is pray and trust the Father. Is it that I am a slow learner or just that there is so much to learn?.

Rate My Space

The big reveal of the dining room...

I have scavenged a wedding cake chandelier for the ceiling, but it needs to be rewired. Maybe when Carter drops by he'll bring a friend who will know how to do this. Here's hoping...

Notice the new arrangement of the fruit pictures. It is a rectangular arrangement in keeping with the craftsman style of the house. Dave says if he hears the words 'Craftsman Style' one more time he will block HGTV. I think it is in my package with ESPN so I am safe.

(See Dixie hoping that soon I will stop taking pictures and take her for a walk. She is the eternal optimist.)

Yellowstone

Okay, here are a few of my clearer pictures from the day...

Big Foot and the Missus Out For a Stroll

From the wilds of Wyoming...
...I know this is a little blurry, but I think that just adds to the authenticity. This may be the first sighting of a pair of Big Feet. Remember--you saw it here first.

Retirement Plans

Last weekend was the Pork and Putt. It is a church event where you eat pork and then you play putt-putt golf. The catch here is that there is not a miniature golf course with in a Wal-Mart's distance from here. But no problem for resourceful people in Dodge City. They just build their own. Yes, each family builds a miniature golf hole and sets it up in the church side yard. This is a lot of pressure on the new family. But I think we rose to the occasion.

We built Gobbler's Knob as a tribute to our Pennsylvania roots. Complete with an amazing likeness of Punxy Phil. (You may be interested to know that the large cardboard tube was on the truck because PD knew about the Pork and Putt months ago and thought the tube would come in handy. As would a certain certain piece of outdoor furniture which was not on the truck, but forget I even mentioned that.) You had to putt up the ramp, into the hole, then the ball rolled down through the tube and into the cup on the bottom green. Par 2.

I decided that we will build a new hole each year and after just 18 years we will have our own course which we can set up in the yard around the house. Then Alex kindly calculated my age in 18 years. So clearly this will be how I will spend my retirement years. Sitting in the rocker on my front porch handing out score sheets and little pencils to tourists. The prize for getting a hole in one will be a homebaked cookie. Alex suggested we invite Aunt Nancy to do the baking. Dave suggested we invite Aunt Sara to clean up after us. We will name it after my other sister. 4DS Minnie-Golf. Owned and operated by three little old ladies and their much younger little sister. So I only have to put in 18 years at Dodge City Federal and I'm good to go.

Also, the difference between lab work and bank work: In the lab all of the crap is carefully labelled and sealed in little cups. You decide if you want to open the cups and deal with it before or after lunch. At the bank you never know when crap will just come flying at you and you just have to deal with it when it happens.

Good News

Today it is 84 degrees and sunny.

One Way of Looking At It

The new grass is starting to grow. In a hair plug sort of way. Just a few tufts here and there. At first I was greatly encouraged to see single sprouts of green and then a definate green haze over the whole yard. But the more it grows the more uneven and scattered and weird it looks. Six by six foot sections with three blades of grass. Go figure. It is one of those things that is greatly influenced by my mood. When I am feeling good about everything the grass is growing and everything is green. When I am less than happy, the yard is a blotchy mess of straggly grass that requires great amounts of watering. Oh and more bad news. Today it was 84 degrees and sunny. The grass will probably grow like crazy and need mowed before it snows. And guess whose lawnmower wasn't on the truck??!!

What Not To Wear

Alex's crocs with crop pants.

(And my ankles are one of my best features. That's why I cropped the rest of me out of this picture. And really--its all about the shoes today.)

Have You Seen My Shoes?

A Pictorial Essay

The shoes I wore yesterday beside the bed.

My running shoes in the downstairs bathroom. My slides at the bottom of the stairs.

Three pairs of shoes in the living/dining room. All mine.

A pair just outside the front door.

The closet organizer designed especially for shoes in my walk-in closet.