My sister took her kids (and her nutcracker(?)) fishing. You can read about it here. She tells them they go fishing "for the memories". And that makes me wonder why I have a fascination with fishing. And I'm wondering if 'creating' memories is a good thing or not.
When I was a young mother (read: a young women with young children) I did a lot of things with my kids. The problem with this, which I discovered much later, is that they have no memories of me as a young mother. And moreover, they have very few memories of their own young lives. And another problem is that I have very little control over their memories. I once orchestrated a trip through New England, which included the Statue of Liberty, whale watching off of Cape Cod, and star-gazing at Acadia National Park, not to mention learning the shapes, names, and capitals of each of the New England states. Along the way we took a few pictures, and had a very good time. (I have precious memories of this trip.) After the trip, when asked, they could recite and recognize all the states and capitals. And when asked, they declared their favorite part of the whole trip (which included eating lobster, catching hermit crabs, and Mystic Seaport Aquarium) was the day I did laundry and their Dad played with them at the playground.
Today, they have no memories of this trip at all.
What they do remember is the vacation I took them on to Williamsburg, Virginia which included 125 degree weather, lemonade without ice, a closed wigmaker's shop, vending machine candy for supper, watching junk yard wars on TV, and the fact that we DID NOT go to a water park or see fireworks on the 4th of July. I was a middle aged woman, and they were middle-schoolers. (If we took any pictures on this trip, I'm pretty sure we never printed them.)
I have memories of fishing with my Dad. Once. They include walking a long way--through the woods with a troup of brothers, sisters, and maybe cousins. A stream that is about a foot or a foot and a half wide. I don't remember holding a pole, or seeing a fish. I don't remember it being a particularly good experience.
So what I'm wondering is if my Dad remembers fishing with me. If my brother remembers catching a fish or if my sister remembers fishing at all. Is my desire to fish an attempt to recapture or create my own memories? Does my sister take her kids fishing because she has good memories of fishing, or no memories of fishing? Will her kids fish with her grandkids because they have good memories of fishing? Or are they too old already and will remember that they hate putting worms on hooks and taking hooks out of fish mouths, not to mention the look and taste of fish?
This year I will take my last child to the Grand Canyon. To look at a big hole in the ground as he describes it. He will read a book in the back seat and glance out the window occasionally. I am an older, wiser mother who will not put a lot of pressure on him or on myself to have a memorable time. The really nice thing about being an older woman, is that my memories won't last for long.
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7 comments:
That is so sad.
I remember that trip, was that the one with the water that 'jumped'? Or was that D.C.? (The one where we WALKED!) we saw a fountain like that on vacation this year.. Claire loved it and it reminded me of good times with my family. Memories are funny things... it's worth having the experiences in there so they can pop up every once in a while.
Your sister does remember fishing with her Dad...once,in a stream on the road that leads to Ed Westover's farm. She never owned a fishing pole but does now, which she can bait herself. (plus everyone elses present) She has become an expert at untangling lines and going out for ice cream afterwards. But just what that little sliding button on the back of the reel does is still a mystery! Truly casting is the finest thing...
Yes Abi, the water jumped in the fountain on the boardwalk outside the Computer museum in Boston.
And, Nancyann, that is the one time I remember as well. I don't remember that ice cream was tied to fishing, but I am glad to know it now. I'll include that when I write my own book on fishing.
I don't ever remember going fishing with our Dad or anyone in our family for that matter. I do remember going fishing with Sara,Andy and my family to a stocked trout lake in the Poconos and Megan catching lots of fish!
i went fishing with my dad and Roy Deitle on a pontoon boat once. they let me drive the boat and the only thing i caught on the end of the line that i did not (and still can not) bait myself was a tree. that was still in the ground. there was ice cream involved on the way home.
How come I never knew this ice cream thing? I am a bigger fan of fishing now than ever.
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