One Way of Looking At It

The new grass is starting to grow. In a hair plug sort of way. Just a few tufts here and there. At first I was greatly encouraged to see single sprouts of green and then a definate green haze over the whole yard. But the more it grows the more uneven and scattered and weird it looks. Six by six foot sections with three blades of grass. Go figure. It is one of those things that is greatly influenced by my mood. When I am feeling good about everything the grass is growing and everything is green. When I am less than happy, the yard is a blotchy mess of straggly grass that requires great amounts of watering. Oh and more bad news. Today it was 84 degrees and sunny. The grass will probably grow like crazy and need mowed before it snows. And guess whose lawnmower wasn't on the truck??!!

What Not To Wear

Alex's crocs with crop pants.

(And my ankles are one of my best features. That's why I cropped the rest of me out of this picture. And really--its all about the shoes today.)

Have You Seen My Shoes?

A Pictorial Essay

The shoes I wore yesterday beside the bed.

My running shoes in the downstairs bathroom. My slides at the bottom of the stairs.

Three pairs of shoes in the living/dining room. All mine.

A pair just outside the front door.

The closet organizer designed especially for shoes in my walk-in closet.

Mangled--From the Trip West Archives

This is the picture of Dave's bike after it was dragged along the interstate. Thanks to Alex for having the presence of mind to snap this picture. Dave and I were busy trying not to snap at each other. Or just snap--period.

Going Green

A busy weekend pretending I was on HGTV. Two projects that are not quite ready for the big reveal, but here are the teasers.

First, the dining room wall. Just opening the paint can and seeing the color was a big surprise. (Somehow it always looks different from the paint chip.) But I did not let it deter me. I used blue tape just like on TV. I cut in around the edges and rolled the middle. I worked pretty much alone except for my imaginary friend Carter Osterwise who told me what a great job I was doing and wondered if I would like him to build me a little bench under the window. (I guess he will come by and do that project another day.)

The second project was an episode of curb appeal. See all my friends who came to help. And wait--is that Alex shoveling manure? Either I am very loved or Lori's sweet rolls are very yummy. Spread manure and planted grass seed on about half the yard. Got a permit so I can water it. The second half will wait for Spring. Found a little lilac bush when Dixie and I were out for a run on Saturday morning. (Good thing I don't run so fast or I wouldn't be able to find these treasures along the way.) Always makes me feel good to plant things. It is such a hopeful thing to do. Although it would be easier if I had use of my alternate hands--remember--the bucket and the shovel?

Stay tuned for the Big Reveal.

Not On The Truck

Don't worry, I am not going to start whining now about the picnic table, or the grill, or my downstairs vacuum cleaner. What I am missing is my jean jacket. I really have no right to whine about this since I almost stole the jacket in the first place. I justified it by saying that the owner of the jacket moved and left it behind. In an odd twist of fate it seems I have left the jacket behind. Unwittingly. So if you have seen my jacket, if I left it with you or at your house or hanging on a clothesrack somewhere or in your car, I just want to say that it was quite by accident. I did not gift my jacket to you. I would appreciate it if you would return it. To me. (The original owner clearly has no rights remaining where this jacket is concerned. Sorry, Ab.)

Horse Hockey

Last week I bought two little trees for the front yard. But before I could plant them, I needed to enrich my soil. So I inquired about some manure. Today a very nice lady delivered two bags of horse manure to my front door.
Yesterday Dave tilled up about half the yard. The very nice lady took one look at our soil and offered to deliver a pick up truck full of manure on Saturday. I must be destined to work with poop.
Yesterday I started my job at the IBHF. Good news--we send out all stool cultures and O&P's.
Tomorrow I start my job at the bank. Hopefully, I won't have to deal with any of that there.

Moose and Squirrel

I survived the camping trip.

We were in The Big Horn National Forest. Between Tie Flume and Dead Swede campgrounds. It was beautiful. Some things we did: (a colon for you, Ami!)

1. Rode quads. Alex rode first. Before I had a chance to ask any questions. When he returned (in one piece) he says to me,"Mom, if you knew what we were doing, you would have never let me go."

So the next time I went too. Part of the the warning label says do not operate without proper instruction or training. I'm pretty sure I had neither. What I did have was a good time. On the way back to camp Dave and I switched places and I rode on the back of Alex's quad. I'm pretty sure that's how the Swede died.

Alex: We need to get one of these.

Me: How much do you think one of these costs?

Alex: I don't know, but I'm sure it's worth every penny.

2. Slept in our tent. We bought a queen sized air mattress. It almost filled out little tent, so we had to almost slide in on our bellies. Alex and Dixie slept pretty well. Dave and I, not so much. My toes got cold and I was claustrophobic from sleeping so close to the top of the tent.

3. Played games--all sorts. We played a dice game called Greed and and card game called Avarice. (No really it was called something about up and down a railroad track.) And Dave played several matches of Bocci Ball. It becomes a whole new game played by a group of men in a forest. One of the guys called it "Jungle Bocci".

4. Ate all of our meals cooked over an open fire. Used the mountain pie maker. Made smores and banana boats. Had bacon and dippy eggs this morning. Can you say "Cabelo's"?

5. Saw wildlife. Because it is an open range area, there were cows wandering in and out of the area where we were camping. Squirrels which drove Dixie crazy. Grey Jays, (They look and act like bluejays, but they aren't blue) which the locals called camp robbers. And one large bull moose. Just walking through the woods. Way cool.

6. Went fishing. Dave did this with a few guys away from the campsite. I was not invited to go. Still no fishing for me. I did take along a book from the library called Reel Women, about women who fly fished. I read chapters one and two.

Last night it started to rain, and thunder and lightning, and this afternoon on our way down the mountain we drove through snow. Who would have guessed. Now I am doing laundry. Not a bad way to spend a long weekend.

Tomorrow's News

Since I will be deep in the woods, high on a mountain (Sorry, I can't give you any more details. I am concerned about being hatcheted to death in my sleeping bag and dragged off while PD and Goober snore away) I will give you another post today. It is rightly titled:

I Have Three Jobs

The first one is Pastor's Wife. My duties are to keep PD happy. It is a full time job that doesn't pay that well, but the benefits are not bad.

The second job is a very part time teller at the bank in downtown Dodge City. Let's call it Dodge City Federal. I do not start it until next Thursday. I don't know much about it except that I will meet a lot of people and as I've already told you, "Activists are people who know people". Already I know the bank president, and the head teller. I hope I get an employee discount.

The third job is less-than-part-time Med Tech at the hospital just south of Dodge City. I haven't started that job either. I train a few days in September and I work two days the end of October. The hospital has six beds. The personnel offfice is a desk in the supply closet. The lab is one room-I will work alone in it. Let's call it Itty Bitty Healthcare Facility-IBHF. I hope I make enough to support my fly-fishing.

For having three jobs, I don't really have much to do today.

Too Much Information? or Why Do All My Titles End With Question Marks?

My counselor told me that I don't have to tell everyone everything. (Maybe I shouldn't tell you that. Maybe you will be freaked out that I ever needed therapy. Or maybe you can just relax because you don't have to figure out a way to suggest I see a therapist. Been there. Done that.) So I'm thinking that maybe my blog is full of too many details. And that someone will happen across it and start reading and be unable to stop and will want my life. So they will stalk me, and get plastic surgery to look like me, and will kidnap me, and move in here. So to protect myself and so we don't all end up being an episode of Law and Order, I've been thinking about using code names. Like I refer to my husband as PD. And I never really name the town I live in. I call it Little Town, or Ghost Town, or Dodge City. And I never use my kids real names. I call them Princess, or Goober. And I refer to others by acronyms SWDGM--she who doesn't get me, or fairy tale characters like Cinderella.
So if you want to suggest your own code names now would be the time. I will consider your suggestions, but just know in advance that I already have some names that I use in my head to refer to you. In fact, now that I think about it, it may be safer for me just to use your real names.
I am going camping this weekend. With several families from the church. They will be sizing me up and studying how I react to adverse conditions. I will making up names for them in my head. I'll let you know how it goes.

I Have A Zucchini or Are You Out of Your Mind?

I have a zucchini that I'm going to cook for supper.
One late summer day, back in my childbearing years, (okay, back in my first childbearing years) ((when 135 pounds was my delivery weight and 125 was my panic weight not my fantasy weight)), I told my husband I had considered buying a bikini. He thought I had said I almost bought a zucchini and responded by asking, "Are you out of your mind?" Because we had an overabundance of free for the asking zucchini available. (A few tempers were very nearly lost over that one.)
I should have bought the bikini. I should have worn it the rest of that summer and most of the next one. I should have played in the sandbox with the girls, and flown kites, and mowed the grass in it. (Really, girls, go put your suits on right now and wear them all day.) I regret that I missed my chance on that one. It would still be a good story.
Remember the pastor's wife who used to live here?
You mean the one with the really nice garden?
Oh, yeah, they'd still be talking.

Cowboy Up?

Cowboy #3--This guy is at a restaurant/casino between here and Billings. He is holding a gun. I think the one near the rodeo in Cody is actually holding a branding iron. Yeehaw!
Obviously I will be planning my next vacation to see more of these giant 'muffler men'. Maybe a Tour de Muffler Man?

Wonders Never Cease

Alex rode his bike to and from school yesterday. Without incident.

Walk-ins Welcome

I just finished reading "The Zookeeper's Wife." (Time to read--the luxury of not having a 'real' life.) It is set in Poland during World War II. Some intriquing quotes about those who risked their lives and the lives of their families to rescue and hide others.

Rescuers tended to be decisive, fast-thinking, risk-taking, independent, adventurous, open-hearted, rebellious, and unusually flexible--able to switch plans, abandon habits, or change ingrained routines at a moments notice. They tended to be nonconformists, and though many rescuers held solemn principles worth dying for, they did not regard themselves as heroic. "We did it because it was the right thing to do."

It makes me question whether I would be one of those people. I would hope so. Certainly I want to believe I would. It haunts me to think that I might be more apt to hide in my own closet than hide someone else there. Not that I would wish you ill, or rat you out. I just might not invite you in.

"(They) were not just idealists but activists, and activists are, by nature, people who know people."

So I'm seeing myself more as an idealist and less of an activist. But I find myself in a new place. With a huge walk-in closet that I didn't think I really needed. And a part time job at the bank(!?) that I have no qualifications for. So clearly God has something in mind for me. Let's hope I'm adventurous enough to grab hold of it.

(I was kind of hoping that this was the point in my life where I just fly-fished and took it easy.)

Wyoming Fly-fishing Trivia

Had some people over for banana splits last night. Found out this little bit of trivia. (I am having a hard time knowing when people are telling me the truth or just messing with me. I googled this to verify.)
In 1878, Thomas Edison was camping in Wyoming when someone accidently knocked a bamboo fishing pole into a campfire. He noticed its resistance to burning. When he went back to his lab in New Jersey, he proceeded to produce millions and millions of light bulbs with bamboo filaments, until he got the bright idea that tungsten worked even better.
Who knew?
Once someone I know accidently knocked a fishing pole over the side of a boat in Pennsylvania. I don't think we discovered anything except how kind and forgiving the owner of the pole was.

Time Zone Issues

Just in case you are concerned that I am staying up late and blogging in the middle of the night, that is NOT the case. My computer does not realize it has changed time zones. It still thinks it lives in the East. Sorry for any confusion this causes. It confuses us.
Dave: I should call my mother.
Me: It's one o'clock in the morning there.
Dave: Oh. I'll wait till morning.
We are still having the debate if we are ahead of you or behind you. It's earlier here so we must be ahead of you. But you have already lived these hours so we must be behind you. See how we are.

The Chairs That Rock

Here you are Amanda--Chairs that rock (and swivel) direct from a backyard in Wyoming to the living room you have never lived in:
Notice the rug. On HGTV they have this show where people come into your house and scavenge thing from other rooms. That's the story on this rug. (It used to be in Abi's room back when Abi had a room in my house.) Before my intervention for my HGTV addiction, I think I will post pictures of my house on Rate My Space and then that great guy will come here with his TV crew and his carpenter and redo my space. I'll let you know when my episode airs. Hopefully I will not be locked away in rehab. Now I just need to find out how I can get on Curb Appeal.

Project in Progress

The dining room chairs. Sara and I recovered these many moons ago in Mars. At that time my husband assured us that the backs could not be removed so we just made slipcovers for the backs and recovered the seats. I loved this fabric. But it wore out. The chair and table and hutch remain in good condition, so I am recovering the chairs. Again. Only this time my husband found a way to remove the backs so I can recover them completely. This is a lot more work than slipcovers. It would be easier if Sara would come and help me. (Maybe she can make up for it by helping me plan my landscaping...) But I am liking the finished product. What I can't figure out is how they redo a whole room in a single day on HGTV.

Also, I dropped off an application at the bank today. They have an opening for a teller for a few hours a week. I need to get out of the house and break my addiction to HGTV. Or maybe I could use the extra money to fund my addiction...

Touring the Grounds

Here is a picture of the house. It is a little cottage-like thing built originally around 1930. It was completely remodeled this year. It kind of has a beachy look. The yard, however, is early Wyoming.

A little dry...But the front 'yard' has that lovely gazing ball, so I can see more of it at one time.

Nothing else to see here. Move on.

My Car at Home

Infectious Diseases/Make Burgers Not War?

Yesterday I crossed two things off of my to do list: Visit the Cody Historical Center in Cody, WY and go to a rodeo. (Only 97 more things to do.) Alex took a friend with him so he would not be bored and/or annoying. So instead of having one bored annoying preteen with us, we had two. Ever have a plan? Ever think about changing it?

I'm not sure what this sign means:

We only saw it after the rodeo and the people in front of us in the grandstand were from Italy. I'm thinking that if they were carriers of hoof and mouth disease then we might be at risk.

On another rodeo note: notice the big cowboy across the road from the rodeo. He is the long lost twin brother of the cowboy in Kittanning. Only he is holding a gun instead of an oversized hamburger. Next time you ride by the guy in Kittanning, notice how his hands are shaped to hold a gun. What's the story there?

Hey, Butter, Butter!

Okay, here is the scoop on butter. Actually, margarine. The sticks of butter here are sized differently. Shorter and fatter sticks. Still 4 to a pound package. But packaged in two rows of two rather that four in a row. So the package is also shaped differently. And not just one brand--all of them. Blue Bonnet. The local brands. All of them. Is this something peculiar to Wyoming? Did all of the butter industry change shape in the three days it took me to get here? Is all butter West of the Mississippi shaped like this? Is there a place half-way between here and there where there are two different shapes available and you have to choose? What should I do with my old butter dish which is clearly made to fit my old sticks of butter? Who has these answers?
On another buttery note: We had fresh corn on the cob for supper tonight. It was in the field at 4:00pm and I was rolling it in butter at 6:00pm. I may have moved to heaven.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere There're Signs

From the Archives

It was 103 degrees when we moved in here. (Of course, it is a dry heat...I'm not sure what that means except that you broil to death rather that boil.) On Saturday I needed to do laundry and couldn't find the bottle of detergent that I packed, so I ran to Ron's Food Farm just like I was. No worries I told myself--no one here knows me. But as I was dragging my grubby body out through the parking lot with a bag of Hershey's kisses and a bottle of all temperature detergent I remembered that my picture had been on the front page of the weekly paper on Thursday. There was also a very nice article about Dave being the new pastor in town on page two. (I'm guessing it may have been page one news if it wasn't the week of the county fair. We just can't compete with pig wrestling.) So much for anonymity.
Talked to the guy who lives across the street. He and his wife loaned us an air conditioner. When I talked to him on the phone he says, 'I noticed you haven't got a pick-up.' Evidently, not much I do goes unnoticed here.
Tonight I am waiting till after dark to go out and take an old window frame out of the dumpster. No doubt someone will ask me about it at church on Sunday.

Things That Rock

I found two little chairs that swivel and rock for in the living room. I found them at a garage sale. They will look good with the fabric I am using to recover the dining room chairs. I found the fabric for $5.00 a yard at Wal Mart. Today I recovered one chair just to see if I could do it without my sister Sara to help me. It turned out okay, but it wasn't as much fun. But yeah for rocking chairs and cheap fabric. Also today I vacuumed the living room. So my chairs rock and my vacuum sucks. It's all good.

Things That Suck

Not everything we had made it on the truck.. I had no carpet in the house in Mars except in the basement, but I owned three vacuum cleaners. None of them made it on the truck. My house in Greybull has alot of carpet. So today we went to Billings (yes, as in Montana) and I bought a new vacuum cleaner. As we were waiting in line to check out, an older gentleman commented that that was a good vacuum. He had one like it and he really liked it. He also had a Dyson, and it really sucked. So I was glad I didn't buy a Dyson. At lunch, as we were talking about the vacuum and the conversation Dave explained that he was saying that the Bissell was almost as good as his Dyson. Very powerful. Of course. He meant sucked as a person over 50 would say it. And I heard it like my kids would say it. Guess I am just a young thinker.
We were eating at Denny's and while we were eating one of the waitresses was vacuuming under the table next to us. We decided her job really sucked.

Traveling

This is the truck we used to move. It had a picture of a giant slug-like creature on it. Kind of appropriate for the progress we made. On day one we made it about and hour from home when the alternator stopped working. We didn't even make it out of Pennsylvania. A five hour delay. You know those times you pass someone broken down along the road and you are thankful it isn't you? Well, it was us. On day two about an hour and a half into the day we blew a tire on the truck. I got very good at setting up the little orange caution triangles. The Illinois state police were even impressed. A three hour delay. By this point in the trip we had to refigure stopping points, and reschedule the house closing, and find a fax machine. The gentleman working on closing on the house in Mars needed one more signature. He suggested we find a Kinko's. Excuse me, but we are driving a 26 foot truck and towing a car on a trailer in th middle of nowhere. Hows about I just fax it from the hotel if I ever get there tonight? Still day two, we are making decent progress when a kind driver pulls up next to us and beeps his horn and gestures that there is something wrong at the back of our truck. Once more we are on the side of the road. Dave gets out to check. I stay in the cab because I don't even want to know. This time (no kidding) the bikes have fallen off the back of the car and we have been dragging them along the interstate behind the trailer. ( Alex had the presence of mind to take pictures of this. They are of course on Amanda's camera). Day three Dave forgets to reattach the cooler with the bungee cords. It does not(!) fall off and bounce along the road. Could our luck be changing? We finally make it to Wyoming. As we enter the state there is a large white robed statue along the road.

Dave: Is that Batman?

Alex: Um, Dad, I'm pretty sure it's Jesus.

It concerns me that the new pastor's first thought on seeing a large robed (he says 'caped') figure is that it might be Batman. Three days in a truck will do that to you.

My House

Living in a Bubble Wrap

A before and after...

I have been out of touch. No TV, no internet, no news.

I didn't even know there was an earthquake.

Abi told me that California fell into the ocean. I thought she was kidding. "Good news," she said. "You're closer to the beach."

Two weeks without the internet has made me realize that before I had a blog, I just blogged in my head. And that thoughts don't stay in my head very long. For instance, I left my camera's battery charger at my mother-in-law's on my way back from vacation. Even though Dave called her and asked her to send it, I am afraid she will not remember to send it or she will forget who to send it to. And someone else will get my battery charger and not know why, or even what it is. This was really annoying to me, until I remembered that I was the one who FORGOT it in the first place. It is scary to me when I think I am becoming my mother. The thought of becoming my mother-in-law--too scary for words.

Anyway, Amanda let me use her camera to document the move. But I can't get the pictures off of it, because I don't have the right cord. (How did this get so complicated?) So, if I can remember, I will try to catch you up. If not, that will be two weeks we just missed.

Remind me to find out about the re-engineered butter sticks...

Currently Unemployed

Farewell to Brenda

Our lives have been blessed with your faith and your humor,

And now that you're leaving (it's not just a rumor!)

Wait!! An E. coli, two Campys!! Your dreams here fulfilled!

We knew you could do it, we knew you were skilled!

We wish you the best that Greybull can offer...

Great friends in the church, and many days off, or...

Perhaps a new line of work you'll pursue...

Some cooking! Some blogging!

Who knows what you'll do?

But while your mind's ticking and your camera is clicking,

Please think of us once in a while.

For who do you know, among your good friends,

Who can handle bulk poop with such style?

We're sad that you're going, but excited as well,

About all the stories you soon shall tell!!

So jot down some thoughts, save a picture or two,

Enjoy shopping at WalMart (heard your choices ar few.)

And know that we send all our prayers, all our love...

You could only get more from our big God above.

I used to work with some really good people....

Sage Advice

When you spend a week with your family you learn some things. About your nieces and nephews, about your Aunts and Uncles, about your parents, and about yourself. This is a little advice to some first time kayakers from their Uncle Ron. Listen closely...

Porch Swinging

10 years ago I bought a porch swing. All by myself. It was advertised in the Penny Saver as an antique porch swing for $25. The guy I bought it from said it had been his Grandma's.
Dave was just slightly less distressed than the porch swing when he saw it. He became slightly more distressed when he found out I had actually paid money for it. I loved it from the beginning. Grudgingly he repaired it. Lovingly I scraped, sanded and painted it. It hung on two porches. It only crashed to the floor twice. It has been repaired and repainted several times. It was in it's prime. But it was time to move on. So we advertised it on Craigslist (the electronic version of the Penny Saver) as an antique porch swing for $25--Just like your Grandma's swing. Within twenty minutes we had two inquiries. The first ones came to look at it the next morning, but it was not exactly what they wanted. Good thing, because the person who bought it was meant to have it. Here are copies of her e-mails:

Please sell it to me! I can pick up asap!! Call me or send me address to google. I'm in love w that swing!!

10 minutes later:

Oh I so really want this swing. It would be going to a great home. Please make my day?
Sorry to bug ya

And after she knew she was second in line:

:(
Keep me posted?!

And after she picked it up (less than 18 hours after we posted it):

Just wanted 2 say thanks!! The swing is $25 of sheer delight! I am so glad it worked out. Thanks 2 ur kids too for their help. I really am so happy! Dont feel sad for ur swing will be loved the rest of its days!

Somehow I think this may have been her swing all along and I was just keeping it for her for 10 years. I was happy to do my part.

I have a new porch swing for my new porch in Wyoming. It doesn't need repaired, but I will have to paint it. (When Dave isn't looking!)

Unrenewed Contracts

I got my cellular bill today. $465.83 in 'valid charges'. I was on hold for almost an hour with a very accommodating customer service representative--who couldn't do anything for me unless I first renewed my contract. It wasn't like he didn't give me a choice. I could choose to renew for 12 months or 24 months. I chose none of the above.
I suggested that when my bill approached $300.00 in text message overages that they could have given me a heads up. You know--they could at least have sent me a text message.
The service rep wanted to know if I had any problem with dropped calls. I used 14 anytime minutes on my cell phone last month. They didn't have time to drop any of my calls. That works out to $33.72 per minute. No wonder they are so anxious for me to renew my contract.
I didn't send or receive any text messages on my phone. As inept as I am at texting, they would really like me to start doing more of it. They charged Amanda 20 cents per message for every one of the 1500 messages after the 300 I had already paid for. I'm sure they would want to charge me per minute, since that would be more profitable for them.
I suggested to Amanda that 1800 text messages per month=60/day. At a minute each that's one hour spent texting/day. She suggested that that's her 'cigarette breaks'. I suggested it would be cheaper to smoke.
At the end of the day Amanda has unlimited text messaging on her phone and her mother suggested she take up smoking.
I tried to think of something clever to type here, but I couldn't think of anything except CU L8ter. Clearly, I am not the texting type.

Can I Pet Your Dog?

Dixie went to the Fourth of July parade. She wore her red, white, and blue and was very well behaved. She was a magnet for little kids. It was a great day to have a dog. Who would have guessed we would ever be dog people.

Running Recklessly Through the English Language

Last evening Alex informed us that he planned to run recklessly through the neighborhood. As in not running into anything or causing any trouble. I believe that word would be 'wrecklessly'. Often we tell Amanda as she is leaving the house to 'drive recklessly and take risks'. It is because she found our advice to 'drive cautiously and be careful' a tad on the ridiculous side. As if she would do anything but. So when we tell her to 'drive recklessly' she knows we mean 'be careful because we love you tremendously'. Guess maybe we should explain that to Alex before he gets a driver's license.

reck·less
[rek-lis]
–adjective
1.utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution; careless (usually fol. by of): to be reckless of danger.
—Related forms
reck·less·ly, adverb

Questions Alex has that I have no good answer for:
1. Why is monosyllabic such a long word?