William Reuben

Bilirubin crystals in an unstained urine.

 I think I missed my calling to laboratory textbook illustrating.

Ein herzliches Dankeschön

Something bizarre is going on in my blog world.  Typically I have about 12 'views' a day.  You know, on a good day. But last week there was a big jump in my views.  And most of them are from my Valentine's day post from 2009.  ( I linked to it just in case you don't remember my tutorial on ice fishing.) 

 Actually I have several posts on ice fishing.  Pre-ice fishing and Post-ice fishing.  Even one or two on fishing the STP out of the ice.  Clearly, I am somewhat of an authority on ice fishing.

The other bizzare turn in Blog world is my audience.  Which is typically 3 of my children, 3 of my siblings, 3 of my friends, and 3 bored people who have arrived by googling things like 'brother-in-law day' and 'birthday cake rabbit'.

Until this week--when the majority of my readers are in Germany.  (My mother's maiden name isn't Weinzierl for nothin'.)
I think its just a matter of time before I go completely viral and have my first book deal--Ms. Brenda's Guide to Life and Fishing 
So I would like to take this opportunity to welcome and thank my German readers and mention to them that I also have a good deal of knowledge on fly fishing, including fly tying. 

In addition to (61.)  Germany, I am thankful for:
62.  My Discover Card
63.  Diet Pepsi
64.  Free shipping
65.  The color turquiose
66.  Bacon
67.  My grandbabies
68.  My parents
69.  My girls
70.  Plans

Tomorrow I plan to put the Real Simple Christmas Shopping Done in a Day plan into effect.   Wish me luck.

A Yesvember Day At Work

51.  Alarm clocks
52.  Deer who stay off the road
53.  Early morning phlebotomists
54.  Quality control that is all within 2 sd
55.  Free hot chocolate
56.  Lunch with the boss
57.  One completed validation plan
58.  Staphylococcus lugdunensis  (Not thankful to have it, just thankful to identify it-- 'cause its fun to say)
59.  A good picture of bilirubin crystals to add to my crystal collection  (You will have to wait until I get home from work to post the pic.)
60.  Overtime pay

Thanks Be

41.  Homemade potato soup
42.  Candlelight
43.  Hot bubble baths
44.  Chocolate milk made with Quik
45.  Kleenex
46.  Spending the evening with my husband
47.  Two couches
48.  The Big Room
49.  The Story
50.  Constructive criticism

When I say "JoePa"

Just wanted to say it is a sad week to be a Penn State alumnus.

Joe Paterno coached Penn State football when my dad (finally) graduated with his engineering degree.  Between the time my oldest brother was born in Happy Valley and when he graduated (despite a stint of disciplinary probation) with his first degree (in what we thought might be his career as a professional student) Joe Paterno had become the iconic head coach.  JoePa coached football at PSU when my baby sister fell in love there on her way to getting her landscape archetechure archetecture architecture degree.  (Despite my own PSU education, a course of study I can't even spell!)  When my other brother's mother sent him off to Penn State, it was not to play football, but to get his degree in something that would make him a productive member of society.  When he graduated, Joe Paterno was still there. 

I remember the last time Joe Paterno missed a PSU football game.  Back (in the dark ages) when I was a student on campus.  His son was injured in a trampoline accident and his choice was family over football.  The football faithful questioned that decision.  I was raised by a dad who would have made the same decision for any one of his kids.  A dad who consistently chose family over career.  I admired Joe Paterno's decision then.

As the mom of a fifteen year old son, I understand the outrage surrounding Penn State this week. 
As an alumnus (even one who still does not know the words to the Alma Mater),  I am just sad.

A Particularly Easy Day To Be Thankful

31.  Sunshine
32.  Snow capped mountains
33.  The color brown (without which most of Wyoming would be invisible)
34.  Roast beef
35.  Company for supper
36.  Leftovers
37.  Hay bales
38.  A job
39.  Mail
40.  Buttons

Random Thankfulness

26.  Seedless grapes
27.  Big brothers
28.  Clean laundry
29.  New sheets
30.  Days off

There Are No Bakeries Here

I once had a list of things I should teach my kids before I launched them.  Things like how to balance a checkbook and how to bait a fish hook.  I finally just bought the two oldest each a book and sent them on their way.  I trusted them to pass the books back and forth and eventually on to their little sister. The books had information on how to poach an egg.  And other invaluable information I didn't have time to pass on.   A mother can only do so much.  But clearly somewhere along the way we missed the info on parchment paper.

 And clearly it is information they needed.  As evidenced by the amazing birthday cake fiasco (Note 9:15pm) of September 2011.
Step #1  Follow the directions:

Step #2  Cut parchment to fit pans.

Step #3  Note that parchment paper lines just the bottom of the pan.  I sprayed the pan with cooking spray before I put the parchment paper in the pan.

Let's review.

Right way:

Wrong way:

TaDa!  The cake comes out of the pan easily, in one piece, and shaped like the pan.

Sorry I did not give you this before you left home.  Maybe you should come back for a little bit.

25%

18.  Monday morning zumba
19.  Morning conversations with the Goob
20.  Walks with the SLD
21.  Real international workers
22.  Mango fruit smoothies in downtown Dodge City
23.  Lunch with the STP
24.  Thankful daughters
25.  Afternoon naps

Alternate Endings

Goob (Upon waking this am):  Don't tell me.  I know how the game ended.  One second left.  Roethlisberger pass complete to the endzone.  Steelers win.
Me:  I thought you saw the end of the game.
Goob:  I did.  I just like that ending better.

Me:  People in Pittsburgh are calling in sick this morning.  And they are being meaner to their kids.
Goob:  And to their moms.

Me:  Aren't you glad we know it is just a game?
Goob:  Yeah.  Of course, if we had won it would be a matter of pride, and dominance, and who is the better man.
Me:  Exactly.

Yesvember-(The Positively Thankful Month)

Is it just me or is Christmas coming earlier every year?  The last trick-or-treater wasn't off the porch yet, and Toys R Us was on the TV making me feel like I was behind. 
So I am changing the month from NOvember to YESvember.  Today I say YES to the following:

11.  Seafood Friday at the Historic Dodge City Hotel.  (I ate all the food I saw and then requested to see the huckleberry cheesecake.)
12.  My pedometer.  (Even though I know 70,000 steps will not counteract the slice of cheesecake.)
13.  Cruise control.  (Reveling in the fact the the flashing lights in my rear view mirror were NOT directed at me this time.)
14.  Rubberbands.  (While reviewing my original thankful list from 2006, I noticed rubberbands made the list.  At work I have these great orange rubberbands.  They make me happy in an office supply sort of way.
15.  The color orange.  (Orange applied to almost anything makes it better.)
16.  Reuben sandwichs.  (Nice try,  Arby's. You made me hungry for the real thing.)
17.  Heated car seats.  (Even though the car book has 6 warnings about things that could go wrong with them, and things not to do in them.  And what not to wear while sitting in them.)

Let's just pick it up here next time. 

Six and Beyond

Something about a gratitude attitude that changes your focus. Sensing a change coming...
6.  My sense of humor.  Spent a few quality minutes with the Goob before school this morning.  Shared a laugh or two. 
7.  My sense of touch.  Came back from dropping the Goob off at school and spent a few quality minutes snuggling with the STP.
8.  My sense of smell.  In between making the Goob's lunch and making love I made a pan of brownies.  The whole house smells like chocolate. 
9. My sense of taste.  Debating whether I should indulge it with a cup of chai latte accompanied by a brownie...
10.  My sense of right and wrong.  Would it be wrong to serve the brownies to company without having taste tested them first?  
That's exactly what I thought.

A Slow Start

I am aware it is November.  And tradition has it that I will list 100 things I am thankful for.  But I am having a hard time getting started.
The STP has been sick for two weeks. I am thankful he is not dead.
My cold sore that lasted two weeks healed up just after the STP got sick. So I have not been kissed for a month.  And last night I accused him of breathing on my pillow.    I am thankful that we are still sleeping together.
I got my flu shot so I would not get sick.  My shoulder has hurt ever since I got the shot.  No flu but bursitis in my left shoulder.  I am thankful for Aleve and physical therapy. 
I cleaned the bathroom.  You know the kind of cleaning where you even do the carpet.  The kind of cleaning that causes your children to develop projectile vomiting within 8 hours.  No projectile vomiting for the Goob, just a bloody nose.  I am thankful he did not have the stomach flu. 

I think that's five.  It's a start.

Belly, Belly Button

Impossible things my Zumba instructor says:
Put your belly button to your spine. 

Sure, as soon as I get my elbow out of my ear...

Black Out

So was I right about the black pumpkins? 








The only question is whether the set designers on MNF on ESPN read women's magazines or just my blog.

In honor of full disclosure I think I need to mention that if you paint your pumpkins black and let them sit in the sun they will absorb enough heat to prematurely bake them and start the rotting process inside their black skins.

Then you will have to turn them around and carve their face on their back sides.  (Which can lead to Zachary's Disease.)

Excuse me while I haul my black pumpkin to the dumpster...

A Little Spooky

A HALLOWEEN GUIDE from a Mom who's been there--

Start your day with the traditional holiday themed pancakes.

Wear ORANGE.  (In Dodge City an orange bandana is worth extra points.)

Watch a horror film, or SKIN SOMETHING ALIVE.  Because I am really into this, I skinned BABY carrots. 

 AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Get your treats ready.  If you get 14 or less trick or treaters, go for the full size bars.  Do not give anything remotely healthy.   Trust me, there will be no health conscious children ringing your doorbell.

Carve your Jack-0-Lantern.  Turn off your porch light long enough to get a spooky picture. 

SMILE!

Leave your porch light on as long as possible and hand out as much candy as possible.  Do not begrudge candy to tall children with pillowcases.  What did you buy the candy for if not to give it away? 

Eat any leftovers as soon as possible.  You don't want it hanging around tempting you tomorrow, do you?

Encourage your children to eat their candy as fast as possible.  No use dragging this on for days.  If they have more candy than they can eat in a day, they have too much candy.  I doubt this is really the case.

There you have it.  All the essentials.  What to eat, what to wear, what to do.  Glad to be of service.

Cross It Off

Okay, this afternoon I tackled the car book.  Which might in fact contain Important Information on Safety, Operation and Maintenance.

(It might be hard, however, to prove it by me.)




 Here I am multitasking.  Oh yes I am.  I am reading the car book and watching the Steelers and the Broncos. 

Here is some of what I uncovered during the brief time my eyes were open..  The Owner's Manual was written by technical writers.  Who may or may not speak English as their first language.

The Owner's Manual has a good number of pictures.  Most of which are warnings of things not to do.

I thought this one meant "Don't even try to figure out your Lighting Control Lever",  because it was followed by 4 full pages of instructions on how to turn on your headlights. Including this chart:

The STP tried to explain it to me.  IF my ignition is on, my engine is off, my Lighting Control Lever switch is set to auto, and it is dark outside, then my D.R.L.s will be OFF.  IF my ignition is on, my engine is on, my Lighting Control Lever is switched to Little Lights, and it is light outside, then my D.R.L.s will be ON.  This plus however many combinations are statistically possible from a chart this size. 

IF I want my ignition on, my engine on, my switch set to off, it is dark outside and I want my D.R.L.s OFF...Sorry, no can do.

Except my favorite airplane mechanic gave me a little car tip this morning at church.  And remarkably my car thinks like a Camaro. So, thanks, Planemech, for solving my lighting dilemma.

I went a little further in the car book.

Until I saw this.  Which is just wrong.

So I put my car book back in the car, where it said to keep it at all times.
I might get used to kilometers per hour.

Car Book

'Car book' has been on my 'to do' list for  a month.  I never read it, I never cross it off the list, and I just keep transferring it to my new 'to do' list. 
The car book came with my new car. (In September.) I imagine it tells me how to use the radio, the windshild wipers, and the lights.  It explains when to change the oil, what grade of gasoline I should use, and how the door locks work.  I could use some of this information.  The lights have four settings.   I just choose one.  And there are lights.  I guess I really should know which lights I have lit. I have considered getting out of the car and looking at the lights but I am afraid the car will lock me out if I have the key inside and the car is running.  So when I warm the car up on frosty mornings I have to leave a door ajar so I do not lock myself out.  It takes a little longer to warm up with the door open.  I think it might also appear to invite car thieves.  They probably explain this in the car book.
This week the STP is deathly ill, so I had to pump my own gas.  And I did that just fine.  But when I tried to reset the odometer, I changed the display from miles to kilometers.  Evidently repeatedly pushing the button is not the way to reset the odometer.  So now my digital display is in kilometers.  And in my head I have to go, "If 5k = 3.1mi how many miles are in 58k?"  And I can't do that in my head.  So I am putting 'Car book' on my list of things to do this weekend.
On the upside, I appear to be getting great mileage on this tank of gas.

Don't Stand Still

Or I will paint you.  Along with a return to cooking, fall obviously brings an irrepressible desire to paint things. So far this month, in addition to the skelemingoes and my toenails, I have painted a jungle's worth of animals for the church nursery.

And two pumpkins.  Because I had left over black paint.

  And because, if you believe the ladies' magazines, black pumpkins are all the rage this fall.

 And because there is something wrong with me.









And today I am painting my project from yesterday.  The STP helped me build something.  Actually we built two somethings--one for me and one for my favorite son-in-law.  (just seeing if you guys are out there :) )  I am painting my something green and I am finishing his something with a light oak stain and polyurethane.

 I am trying to keep the something a surprise until Thanksgiving.  When my favorite son-in-law will visit and I will present him with a large wooden object to take back in his suitcase.  

Note to my other sons-in-law:  If you will bring my daughters and grandbabies to Thanksgiving, I promise not to paint anything for you.  And it could be just the thing to elevate you to favorite status.  Just saying.

SFG Wrap-up

Using these last beautiful fall days to clean out the garden and flower beds and boxes.  Last week I cleaned out the SFG.  A few garden notes:
The late developing peppers developed too late to be of any value.  A waste of 4 square feet.
It was a better year than last for onions.
Pumpkins are more fun to grow than zucchini.
Chocolate cherry tomatoes do NOT taste like chocolate covered cherries. 

The last veggies out of the garden were the carrots.  My square foot garden book says you can leave them in the ground, but, really, there was just enough left for a meal for a family of three (one of whom never eats vegetables).  So I harvested and sliced and cooked them up for supper.

And that's when I started having second thoughts.  Because I remembered a micro lab from PSU where we innoculated raw carrot slices with a virus that caused carrot tumors.  And what always bothered me about that lab was not that people like my lab partner had access to cancer causing viruses, but that carrot cells were alive long after they were pulled from the earth.  And so I was about to boil my carrots alive.  And all those carrots I munched right out of the garden--I had eaten them alive.  Bordering on cannabalism if you think too hard about it. 
So I moved on to think about other things.  Like why that carrot tumor lab was one of the only labs I could remember. 
Actually, I can remember one more.  A physiology lab in which we were doing some sort of surgery on a rat and my lab partner and I over-anesthetized our rat.  And he died.  And the grad assistant gave the rat mouth to mouth resucitation and that gave my lab partner and I a fit of giggles.  Which irritated the life out of the grad assistant.  And the rat stayed dead.  Which made it easier to do the surgery.  Because I have an aversion to slicing up living things. 
And that reminded me of the movie scene where the student saves the lab frogs by aiding their escape.  Only I couldn't place the scene.  Which led me on a search from Maryland to Googleland.  Amidala couldn't place it.  The Goob couldn't place it.  Google and the STP knew exactly where it was.  The STP found it in his databank faster than Google.  I rewarded him by serving him carrots.  Dead carrots. 
It's a wonder I get anything done.