Just Wondering

Is a hamstring injury related in any way to pulled pork?

You've Gotta Get Up

it's Christmas morning....

A Holly Jolly Good Time

Christmas dinner at our house. Gotta love that gorillapod.

Figgy Pudding-No Figs

Today we go over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house. We are wearing our festive clothes, packing the Suzuki with presents, and snow clothes, and food and drink. Alex made plum pudding. Also known as figgy pudding. Since it has neither plums nor figs, either name seems equally acceptable. (I just finished the sauce and think a more appropriate name might be heart attack pudding.) I plan to dip my finger in the sauce and give Claire a taste. Can't wait to see her. Oh, and everyone else.

The Year in Song

(To the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel)
True confessions, Resignation, Lots of prayer and restoration
Bathroom renovations, Camping on the beach

Accountability, Gratitude and humility
Family reunions, Gobs-no gluten, Lots of tea with peach

Chicken dance, Songs to sing, Manifests and tracking
Resumes, Interviews, Business meetings in canoes

Tie your shoes, Comb your hair; Do you have the dog in there?
Getting Alex out the door, I can’t take it any more…

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
Didn’t plan to do it,
But God saw us through it.

Blogspot, iPod, Control freak, Trusting God,
5K, Rainy day, Run around the block.

Movies at the Guthrie, Dinosaurs at Carnegie,
Full-time, Over-time, Work around the clock.

Mother of the Bride dress, Could I have any more stress?
Wedding days, Pirate games, Jose, Jose, Jose.

Labor and delivery, Grandma Brenda, GB.
Whimsical Tuesdays, What else do I have to say?

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
Didn’t plan to do it,
But God saw us through it.

Slovakia, Airports, Wedding plans, New York
Wedding jars, I do, Mrs. Micah Henry

Malibu honeymoon, Grove City - two rooms
Drive across the country, Quarter of a century

Student teaching, College grad, Move back in with Mom and Dad
Big Apple, All of us on a New York City Bus

Grandma’s pearls, La Maze class, Phipps bride, Chihuly Glass
Claire Marie the Fabulous, Now Jimmy’s one of us.

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
Didn’t plan to do it,
But God saw us through it.

Greg Holland, boyfriend, Yes they’re dating once again
PennDOT, Internship, Construction worker tan.

Car wreck, Bridesmaid twice, Canada was pretty nice
Junior year, Fancy House, Geneva Marching Band.

Twenty years looks like fourteen; he said so in Counseling
Drove the roller, and the paver, Her first College B.

Sister-of-the-Year award, Roadwork makes her really bored
First-time aunt, wait I can’t, make this rhyme with anything…

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
Didn’t plan to do it,
But God saw us through it.

PanoryFest, Big success, Harry Potter, DS
Swimming lessons, Tennis camp, Down the water slides

Uncle Alex, Frog rock, Shower days, Alarm clock
Camp Invention, No detention, Brother of the brides

Black Belt, Tae Kwon Do, keeping Mom on the go
Mahaffey Camp, Wildwood, Principal’s Office

Sixth Grade, Journaling, Suicide, Counseling
Paper route, We’ll find out, if ’08 can top this…

We didn’t see this coming…
Yes, it caught us nappin’
Now it’s got us rappin’
We didn’t see this coming…
But when we are gone
God will still go on and on and on and on…

i robot

At work we have a new robot. At first I didn't like the thought of him, but this week I met him, and had some training and now I kinda like him. His job is to receive, and sort and centrifuge, and uncap and deliver and store tubes of blood for our chemistry analyzers. He is really a series of robotic arms. The first one is called io robot--as in input/output robot. He is encased in a plexiglass case so that he doesn't harm anyone with his gripper claw. I feel sorry for him-shut up like that. If he were my robot I would let him out more.
This is the first instrumentation that we have that is actually called a robot. I might like more robots in my life. The cleaning robot. The laundry robot. The food prep robot. The shopping robot. I have a husband to do these things, but he is not programmable.

My Dentist--My Hero

Today I got my teeth cleaned and my eyes examined. I like my hygienist, however it is difficult to have a conversation with someone who has her fingers in your mouth. Today I was fortunate that the dentist just looked. I told him I wanted him to look and tell me that I did not need to have the final two gum grafts that I have been putting off for almost a year. So he looked and told me he didn't think I needed them and he would not advise me to have them, and the gums at his eye teeth may have more recession than mine and he certainly wasn't going to have them grafted. So a great big YEAH!! to that. Also, I had no cavities. My dentist says people do not often call him their hero.
I like my eye doctor okay, but if there is a hero in my afternoon, it is the optical associate who helps me pick my frames. To no one's surprise I am a little more nearsighted than I was 2 years ago. The only joy in that is that I get to pick new frames. The sadness is that as an extremely nearsighted person (as in blind) I can't tell what I look like in the frames unless I press my nose against the mirror. Subsequently, (my best adverb usage today), I look cross-eyed in everything I try on. So I place myself at the mercy of the optical associate. She walks around the room with me, keeps me from bumping into things, hands me frames and says, "try this." I put them on, she judges. Mostly she makes a declaration and puts them back. Too heavy. Not a good color on you. Too wide. Not good. Boring. Too much bling. And the scariest of all: those make you look droopy. (AAAAAHHHHH!! Neither one of us wants to touch that pair again.) Then we narrow the hundreds of possibilites to about 4 and we try them on again. And then she tells me her favorite. They have little rhinestones(!?!) and they make me "look younger". Hah! Whatever they pay this woman is too little. She asks the other associate across the room what she thinks and she concurs. Of course, I can not see their facial features to see if they are winking at each other. I pay for my progressive lenses (a euphanism they use for whatever completes this series: bifocals, trifocals,...), order my new frames and I leave there feeling like I just got a facelift. My glasses will be in next week.

Lightly Tossed

Tonight while I was preparing dinner,(pause for effect--yes I was cooking) I tossed the potaoes in a bowl with a little oil. Then I tossed the lightly oiled potatoes all over the kitchen floor. That part wasn't in the recipe. So I was fighting off the dog, trying to scoop the potatoes back into the bowl. Then I washed them off and started with the oil again. Fortunately, those remaining in my family are not squeamish about eating dog germs, and they were so amazed that I had actually cooked supper, that they thought they were delicious. I like hanging out with people who are easily impressed.

Remember--not necessarily in this order

91. Books
92. Free public libraries
93. Memories
94. Dixie
95. Google
96. Christmas music
97. discipline
98. Dentists
99. Milk
100. knitting

Also, not all inclusive. Got a list of things to do today. Going to get started soon as I am done here. Going to start by cleaning the bathroom. This is a chore I don't usually even put on a list, because I don't want to do it that bad. Today I will be the responsible adult who lives here and clean. I will put on Christmas music and dance and sing while I do it. Dixie will not tell anyone. She will not be embarrassed to know me. That's why she made the list. Got to get the list done before 2:00 so I can pick Alex up from school and take him to the dentist. In between cleaning the bathroom and the dentist, I hope to have some brighter moments. Bring on the music.

Count your Blessings

81. Shampoo and conditioner in one bottle
82. Blow dryers
83. Tree frogs
84. Quail
85. Manna
86. miracles
87. Rainbows
88. Rain
89. Snow
90. Sun tea

Not Neccessarily Glutton Free

Our Thanksgiving dinner was gluten free. No stuffing. No need for anyone to bring the rolls. No flaky pumpkin pie crust. Evidently there is not a great demand to share such a feast.

Or is it that I never succeeded in creating wonderful Thanksgiving memories that make people want to be a part of it? Sadly, it is not that I didn't try. I've hosted Thanksgivings with both of our large extended families. (Not at the same time, of course.) There was that year where everyone wore turkey hats. And what about the time I was a raving maniac spewing insults at my daughter's choice of clothing and my other daughter's choice of not a boyfriend who was getting more sleep at my house than I was that weekend. (My third daughter had already stopped coming home for the holiday.) Okay, maybe it's not the place to be.

But I'm still trying. Today I worked daylight and Dave cooked the turkey. This is certainly one of my favorite variations of the holiday. I arrived home after four and we were eating dessert at 5:30. Alex says the first Thanksgiving lasted three days and ours took about half an hour. Plenty of leftovers when three people share a 10 pound bird. It was delicious though and Alex ate both drumsticks. Dave cooked the giblets for Dixie. Alex whipped the cream for dessert. Maybe this is the beginning of our Thanksgiving tradition. Or maybe we will never have a Thanksgiving tradition and when we gather together 10 years from now it will be at Hoss's.

Note: The turkey looked so good that we put it on the platter and carved it at the table. I thought it make make Alex think we were like that family in the Norman Rockwell paintings. Alex, of course, says, "Remember in Christmas Vacation, when they cut that turkey..."

The Griswold Thanksgiving

Givingthanks

The inversion of the compound word looks somehow shorter. Today in honor of the last holiday I will attempt 20 things I am grateful for. Here goes:

61. centerpieces

62. people who care that I had a slight interest in centerpieces

63. cranberries

64. Gluten free pumpkin cheesecake

65. Wedding gifts

66. my gorillapod

67. hugs

68. kisses

69. turkey pickers

70. daylight

71. music

72. sleep

73. pajamas

74. windowblinds

75. bubble bath

76. candles

77. co-workers

78. time and a half

79. not needing anything bad enough to shop on Black Friday

80. lists

No Title

51. Christmas music
52. Honey crisp apples
53. Canned peaches
54. Cinnamon
55. Cookie sheets
56. Amanda Dawn
57. Rhyming words
58. Singing birds
59. Microbiology words
60. Elephants

"WITH" Verses

You know--verses with the word 'with' in them. I have been gathering them for weeks and have assembled them into a 'with' verse a day for all of Advent. They are verses that talk about God with man. And they have to have the word'with' in them. (Thus abide 'in' doesn't count.) They are hard to pull up easily on the Bible program because you have to search for the word 'with' and clearly not all verses with the word with in them are really 'with' verses. So you just come across them and you know them when you see or hear them. I have with verses from Genesis to Revelation. I will share them with you if you'd like.

Thanks a Million

If I continued to list 100 things each November, and I lived to be 10,046 years old, I could list a million things I was thankful for. I've already got 140.

41. "with" verses
42. Copy
43. Paste
44. God's promises
45. Warm socks
46. People who tolerate my crabbiness
47. Turkeys
48. Cream cheese
49. Foodland (close to home)
50. Flyswatters

150 down. 999,850 to go.

Night at the Museum or Membership Has It's Privileges

Last night we went to the Dinosaur preview at the the Carnegie Museum. We saw lots of dinosaur bones put together like big puzzles. There are very cool computer interpretations of how dinosaurs moved. And the display hall is impressive both in size and number of dinosaur skeletons on display. It is a fun exhibit to see. Made me wonder what it must be like when they all come to life after the museum closes for the night.

I do wonder also about the accuracy of the displays. Seems like all the dinosaurs I knew as a child have become extinct again, as they have been reconstructed and/or renamed. Whatever happened to the brontosaurus? Did he evolve into a diplodoccus? If you had even half the bones of a chicken, could you put them together to create a chicken skeleton? Maybe we will try this with our Thanksgiving turkey. We will throw away half the bones and create our own paleontologist kit. You should hope we don't have your name for Christmas.

We also ate dino head cookies from Eat 'n Park. Such a good 'Burgh thing to do. And we watched a documentary about meteors and volcanoes. And then we did the way coolest thing of all. Deep in the basement of the museum we extracted DNA. Okay, we extracted DNA from wheat germ, but this was our first extraction, and they sent us home with the instructions to try this at home. So soon we will be extracting our own DNA, and then cloning is just around the corner. Mwah-ha-ha.

We've added Jurassic Park to our NetFlix queue.

Pay atTENtion

I can't remember what number I am on (because I wasn't paying attention). So here are the next ten , starting with something one and going through something else:

Something one. Mornings
Something two. The Lord's lovingkindnesses
Something three. Lists
Something four. Birthdays which are not mine
Something five. Hair dye
Something six. Digital photography
Something seven. Pictures of Claire
Something eight. Claire
Something nine. Eleven year old boys who say thank you without being prompted
Something else. Comments

And Counting

21. U.S. Savings Bonds
22. My Dad
23. Girls who call home
24. Christmas
25. Lost and Found
26. Dailyaudiobible
27. Running shoes
28. File folders
29. Museum tickets
30. DSL

Woe...Whoa...Row...

If Stasi's was the wedding that never ended, then Abi's was the wedding that barely was. Except for a few calla lilies, there is no trace here. And no one to look at the light fixtures with me. I took a few moments this morning to wallow in my self-pity. And I took advantage of the moment and scheduled visits to both my dentist and my gynecologist. Misery loves company.

(Be reassured: I am not feeling so bad that I felt the need to call my periodontist.)

On a happier note: Here are my girls all wearing the right dresses, I think.

Grateful, not Dead

11. Girls who dress themselves
12. Borrowed and shared clothing
13. Flowers
14. Light fixtures
15. Post-it notes
16. Spackling
17. Bathrobes
18. A day to spend in one
19. Green
20. Health benefits

Profoundly Grateful

As has been my blogging tradition, I will attempt in the month of November to list at least 100 things that I am thankful FOR. Let me just clarify that I am profoundly grateful TO God, from Whom all good things come.

1. Alarm clocks
2. Baby noises
3. A furnace that does not need 'tending'
4. Clean clothes
5. My husband
6. Toothbrushes
7. Window glass
8. My barking dog
9. Crisp apples
10. Ezekiel

Additionally, I should clarify that these are in no particular order, so it means nothing that my husband is just below laundry.

Not Where I Intended To Go

When I started this entry I intended to compare these two pictures. However, it took me an extended period of time to find and post them. And now I that I see them side by side, I am not even sure they look as similar as I thought they did. So this is really more a testimony to my inept computer skills than a look at how some babies look extraordinarily like their mothers.

Newer, Hipper Version

I am still adjusting to the idea of being a grandmother. Equally it is an adjustment for those around me. Imagine how old you must be if your sister is a grandmother. Or if your wife is a grandmother. (I don't even want to think that I am sleeping with someone's grandfather. :P) Or if you're in sixth grade and your mother is a grandmother. So Alex has been comparing me with other grandmothers he knows. This past weekend he held the door for a grandmother at TaeKwonDo, and he held the door for me as well. Then he remarked that I was in the same class as her, but I was a younger, hipper version. I think that was a compliment. At least I am taking it as one. So here is the new picture of me that I am going to use in my profile. It is a newer, hipper picture taken by Claire Marie's grandfather.

I've still got pretty good ankles for a grandma.

Serendipities

Today we planned a trip to see the leaves. Along the way we saw a road side spring, took pictures of our shadows, walked in the woods, climbed on rocks, saw the sun rise and set in spectacular fashion, ate french fries and gummy bears, dropped in to visit some friends, and just by chance saw a painted rock in the Tionesta River.

Who would paint a rock in the middle of the river? Okay, it looks like a giant frog-shaped rock, but who goes one step farther and actually paints it? And then it occurs to me that any one of my brothers would do this. And any two of my sisters if they were together would think to do this. And several of my children would seriously consider doing this. And I wish I had done it.

And Alex would throw rocks at it.

And for all the planning, the best moments of the day were the surprises. And being together to share them.

Yesterday Was A Very Good Day

I had a great day yesterday before 7:00am. First, I had my name tag from work for the first time since last Friday. I clocked out at 7:30pm on Friday and drove straight home. I clocked in at 7:00am Saturday morning without the use of my name tag. I have been looking for it and clocking in and out without it ever since. (As an aside--don't ask me how I can clock in without my nametag, but you might find it useful to know that a barcode reader can't distinguish between a laminated barcode and a photocopy of it.) Yesterday Alex pulled my nametag out of his backpack. Someone at school gave it to him and said it had been found at the football game. Here's what happened near as I can figure: When I arrived home on Friday evening with my nametag in my purse, I parked on the street because Jimmy was parked in the driveway and I didn't want to park him in. Because I wanted to get as close to the curb as possible, I had to duck out of the car under a tree. I think my nametag fell out then. Since I came and went in the dark, I never saw it. Someone who parked there on Saturday for the peewee football games picked it up, thinking I had dropped it on my way to or from a football game. Somehow it made it's way to school with a classmate of Alex's from last year. And eventually back home to me. (I didn't ask how many days it was in the backpack.) So yesterday when I pulled my nametag out of my purse to clock in, I unwittingly dropped a ten dollar bill out of my purse. As I'm going down the stairs I hear a gentlemen's voice call out, "Young lady!". Of course, I just kept walking, because obviously, he wasn't talking to me. But when he repeated it, "Young lady, going down the stairs," I stopped to see what he needed. He asked me if I had dropped some money. I immediately answered yes. He knew of course that I didn't know I had dropped it, and I knew he did know I had dropped it. With a quick glance in my purse , I knew it was a 10 dollar bill, and he had already been too honest to keep it now, so he returned it to me and I thanked him. (I hope God rewarded him later or he just had a good day knowing he did the right thing.) So here are the good things: I didn't have to buy a new name tag. I didn't have to get a new picture taken. (One of the advantages of keeping your nametag forever is that your picture reflects a much younger you. The picture I have currently is not too bad, though. The one I had before that...the time the security guard returned it after I had dropped it down the elevator shaft ((Don't even ask)) he remarked how much better I looked in real life than in my picture. I have a photocopy of it if you don't believe me.) I had ten dollars to lose. My lost $10 was returned. I clocked in on time. And someone called me a young lady. And all before 7:00am.
Last evening I had a grilled stickie a la mode and I treated a friend to a grandma's apple pie sundae. I used my $10. All in all, a very good day.

Just for the record, One time I dropped my name tag into the mail box along with some letters. The USPS returned it. One good thing about my nametag is that it has my name on it.

Would You Rather...

..open your dresser drawer and find 100 black widow spiders OR find six large rats that jump out of your dresser and scurry under the furniture?
I chose the six large rats because there were fewer and because they got out by themselves and hid.
I'm not sure this was edifying conversation, but it's what Alex and I talked about last night at bedtime. Just before I dozed off he shared the additional information that rats are very agile and some larger ones have a bite as strong as a small shark.

Sweet dreams to you too, Alex. The tooth fairy may never come.

She Has My Chin...

...but don't worry, I have another. I have become a fan of v-necked tops. I think they make my neck look longer. I used to have an exceptionally long neck. It used to make me feel taller and thinner. But as I've gotten older it has become a place to stack my chins. And it has wrinkles that are so deep that they don't tan. When the kids were little I could sometimes scrub little dark dirt rings from their necks at the end of a summer's day. This summer I had light rings around my neck---negative tan lines. Oddly enough, new places that the sun doesn't shine.

Clair will never know me as anything but a grandma. She will not know I once has a long thin neck and that the skin on my upper arm didn't always flap. She won't know what she missed.

Brenda the Remarkable Meets Claire Marie the Fabulous (via Abi the Incredible)

Here's what Abi and I did today. It is absolutely the best thing we have ever done together. Okay, so Abi did most of the work, but I didn't have the benefit of an epidural, and I am pretty proud of my first foray from the realm of parenting to the realm of grandparenting. Go ahead--call me Grandma. Today it doesn't sound so bad to me.

Claire Marie the Fabulous--Day one

Insert Link Here

I am so proud to be a link in AmiDawn's xanga. However, I think she is just showing off because she knows how it insert a link and I do not. But I was certainly glad to send her to public school. It was good for the school, and good for me. Homeschooling was always an effective threat when the girls were growing up. Do your homework, or I'll homeschool you. If you really are having a hard time adjusting to your new school, I'll be glad to homeschool you. Aren't those Middle Schoool boys awful? Why don't I just homeschool you? I never threaten to homeschool Alex, because he is just unsocialized enough to take me up on it. And then there would be no one to blame but me. And clearly it can't be all my fault, can it? Although Abi has always thought it is all my fault. Ever since I took up all the room. I should have homeschooled her through college. She would have benefitted from a little unsocialization.

What's The Story, Morning Glory?

Underneath this mountain of morning glories is a clematis and underneath that is a beautiful obelisk and underneath that is some kind of tree that Alex got at a growing up class.

All princes start as frogs.

All gentlemen as dogs.

Some boys will become men.

Here's hoping.

The Cosmos

According to G.K. Beale, the three parts of Israel's temple represented the three parts of the cosmos: The outer court: visible earth; the holy place: visible heavens; the Holy of Holies: dwelling of God.

I think I shall leave the arrangement of the cosmos in the capable hands of its original Designer, but I am indebted to my blog designer. She knows my heart and I love her. (even if her jeans leave little of her backside to the imagination!)

Twins Born 13 Years Apart

Children Re-named

Seems my links, which used to be to my children's blogs are now to Google News and two places called edit-me. What if these really were their names? Google News Henry. Edit-me Iovino. And what if I liked Edit-me so much I named another child that also? Edit-me Also.
I probably shouldn't be allowed to have any more children.

New Way Less Who I Really Am Template

Turns out my blog consultant is rather like my plumber. I should have been more selective. Asked more questions. Not let her grow up and move out of my house where I have nothing to hold over her head. Now that she is an adult and buys her own laundry soap (among other things...) she is not beholden to me. Thus she has put me off and left me to my own blogging abilities. This is scary. I have chosen the color Ochre for my blog. I really wanted sunshine or daffodil yellow with pink cosmos. Occassionally I want to rearrange the cosmos. I want something lime green and the color of the sky today. Wonderful clear blue with white and gray clouds that fill the space and change constantly, so that everytime you see my blog it is different. I do not want my old consultant back at all (although I miss her), I want God to do my blog.
Today I am going to attempt to insert a link. I am not going to ask anyone how to do this , or do any research, or even hit the help button. I am just going to cut and paste.

Okay--control p-- is not the way to do it. Obviously, that just publishes prematurely.

Also, you can not put the letter 'p' in the little greater than and less than signs, or when you publish it just disappears. I don't know where it goes. Rendevousing with mismatched socks from the dryer perhaps.

I copied the link to my race results, but I can't figure out how to paste it here. (Additional sadness in my life, but not worth ranting about.)

Suffice it to say that my time was little better than I thought. I finished 45th out of 70. I am greatly encouraged and may even run again. But not today.

Now I am going to light the candles on my back porch and sit around the fire with all of my family members who have not grown up and moved away. The fire will dance with all kinds of colors, and we will tell stories and laugh, and that is really more who I am. I'm happy with that.

Sorry you have to read this in Ochre.

Sadness and Ranting

Today something has eaten all the pretties off my blog. I called my blog consultant and she thinks that my images were hosted someplace else and that they may have deleted them off their server. What kind of nonsense is this? Who are these ones who host my images and delete them without warning?
At first I was sad about this, but it has quickly turned to anger and ranting. (So I changed the title of this posting.)
Ok, I'm over it.
Stay tuned for a new template, coming soon to a blog near you.

SPT Tech and the Fantasy Laboratory

Today I was the SPT tech. This is pronounced 'spit' tech. (Although I originally thought it was spin tech.) It is an acronym for Specimen Processing Tech--the person who receives and centrifuges the tubes of blood and delivers them to the various departments for analysis. It's a nasty job, but someone has to do it. So today they picked out a somebody and I was that hero. I adopted Mary Poppins' spoon full of sugar philosophy--you know--find the fun and Snap! the job's a game. So if SPT tech is a game, then I decided there could be a SPT tech rating--like a QB rating in the NFL. Since the game is only in my head, then I create the rating. So on the basis of dropped tubes, intercepted tubes delivered to wrong departments, overdue test results, angry phone calls fielded, and general good attitude I ranked myself pretty highly today. In fact, if there was such a thing as a fantasy lab league, I think I would go in the first round of the draft. Behind Dorothy the Fabulous, who does the spt tech job every day. And behind Tiki Barber, who would evidently be taken in the first round of any fantasy league.
Tomorrow I am on the 'green' bench in micro, which gives another whole meaning to 'spit' tech.

Milk Carton Photos

Today is picture day at school. We will not be purchasing any pictures, but we still have to look our best because we will appear in the yearbook and on other people's class pictures. Alex required a few more reasons to look good, so I offered that these are the pictures that will show up on TV if he was lost, stolen, or ran away. Shouldn't he then look more like he would actually look if any of those things happened--more like he would look on a regular day. I mean, what are the chances the news report would say "Last seen on picture day, wearing a black tuxedo..."?

Raiders of the Lost Sermon Notes

Today's sermon revolved around the story of King David bringing the Ark of the Covenent back to Jerusalem.
So here's some of the conversation from our lunch table:

Q. What 3 things were in the ark?
A. The 10 commandments on stone tablets.
A jar of manna. Turns out it was a gold jar-not a canning jar as some of us imagined. And indeed it was not in the form of manicotti. And manicotti does not closely resemble a machete as one pre-teen at the table imagined.
Aaron's staff. This led to some rather interesting investigation and discussion about what things Aaron's staff had been used for, what things Moses' staff had been used for, if Aaron ever used Moses' staff, and were there almonds in the ark.

Q. What does it look like when someone is smote?
It seems that it is more involved than just falling down dead. Like it would involve little wisps of rising smoke. This led to more questions about the present and imperfect forms of the verb. Words like smite and smitten. Somehow smote seems worse than smitten, and smitily or smotingly may not be words at all.

Q. Was David's linen ephod loosely woven?
This might explain why Michal was so upset. It would also be a generous explanation of Stasi's pants. There's not really a hole in the butt of your pants...they're just loosely woven.

My First 5K

Here I am at the start of the race. I trained for 8 weeks with my ipod and my dog. Last week I ran without the dog and without the ipod just to make sure I could do it. Never once in the 8 weeks I have been running did I run in the rain. The dog reluctantly stayed home. The ipod went with me. So I arrived at the start of the race, in the pouring rain, relatively unprepared, wondering what I was doing there and exactly why I ever thought this was a good idea. It turns out that running in the rain is miserable, but not much more miserable than running in general. The worse part was that my glasses were spotted and fogged the whole time and it was difficult to see where I was going. Sometimes I took them off. It made the colors brighter, and I think I stayed on the course the whole way. Thanks to my support team who crafted the homestar runner t-shirts, and kept me from quitting before I even started, for cheering me on at mile 1, and for watching expectantly at the finish line.
Speaking of which, here I am at the finish line. Note my time. This is of course a PR for me. I finished the race (goal #1). I ran under a 12 minute mile (goal #2). If I had been under the age of 19, I would have won a medal. But it turns out that a lot of women age 40-49 had nothing better to do today than run in the rain. And unfortunately they all ran faster than me. I did, however, win something in the raffle drawing. In fact my ticket was the first one drawn. Thus, I was first. Soon enough I will be in the 50-59 category where I will be a contender.

Who Was That Masked Wookie?

This Just In...

Here it is. A picture of Stasi's husband and Micah Henry's brother-in-law. At the falls. (Yeah and thanks to Stasi.) Also Ami and Julie before their awesome Scuzzy butt sliding adventure. And Ami again with her future brother-in-law and her future niece and her current sister none of whom went butt sliding.

Waterfalls/Three Girls/No Pictures

When Amanda was barely potty trained (what a great way to start a blog entry, huh?) and the red Subaru was the 'new car' we drove it through New England with our three favorite girls in the back seat. Somewhere near New Hampshire we hiked back to a waterfall and frolicked the afternoon away splashing together as a family. While most of the New England trip is documented on film, there is only one pic of us starting the hike towards the falls, because we ran out of film. So we stored the memories in our minds. Unfortunately, none of the girls retain these memories, and mine is clouded by time and perspective.
Fast forward to yesterday.
We picked Amanda up from college, and had supper at Buttermilk Falls. We arrived in three separate vehicles (none of which was a Subaru :( ) and in addition to the original three girls Amanda brought a roommate, Abi brought her fiance, and Stasi brought her husband. Oh, and Micah Henry's youngest brother-in-law was there. We spent a few hours frolicking in the water. I couldn't find my camera, and Amanda forgot to bring hers. Stasi arrived, took two pictures, neither of which included the falls, and had a dead battery with her camera.
So there are only a few pics captured on cell phones to document the day. Fortunately, I have it stored in my memory.

A few additional thoughts--although the girls are 'all growed up' they remain three of my favorite people, and Amanda left with wet pants.

Runners' High?

How far do you have to run to reach the Runners' High? I have to assume that Runners High is somewhere beyond the 'the wall'-- most probably in a gated community. I have yet to get a glimpse of it. Today I finished 2.75 miles without walking, in week 8 of my training. Never once have I finished my run saying ,"I have to do that again!" I usually count the training days till race day and say, "I have to do that again." Still pressing on.

Just remember that the use of 'run' and 'race' are generous terms for what I have planned for Sept. 8th.

Alternate Hands

So it seems that Strong Bad has alternate hands which are a bucket and a bullhorn. This got us to thinking what it would be like to have alternate hands. The rules seem to be that you can't have one alternate hand at a time. You just have your regular hands, or you can change them out with your alternate hands. I liked the bullhorn idea. I could use that to make my point more emphatically, and to get my family's attention when they appear to be tuning me out.
The bucket would be useful if I was scouring the ditches along back roads for wildflowers or swinging water around to demonstrate centrifugal force. Other than that I couldn't think of a lot of uses for those alternate hands. I think I would rather have scissors and a toaster. Micah would have his wallet and his keys. Dave would have a pneumatic tool with interchangeable appliances and a bloody stump. Alex is no longer part of the conversation, so he is unable to think what his alternate hands would be. (In fact, I would probably need a bullhorn to get his attention right now.) He just plants these ideas in all of our heads and then moves on. He goes back to school tomorrow. I hope the teachers are ready. I know I am.

Job Chapter One

While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said,"The fire of God fell from the sky and burned up the sheep and the servants, ane I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

Awaiting the Chaldeans and attempting blockquotes again...

Fountain of Youth--Will Blogging Keep You Young?

Adolescence is the age for the writing of diaries.
Those who keep it up all their lives, so far from attaining the desired maturity, remain perpetually adolescent. Now, Jung has shown us that adolescence is...the age of the completest misunderstanding of oneself.

Just wondering if having a blog means that I am a perpetual adolescent. Paul Tournier certainly would seem to think so. He is trying to help me answer the question, "Who am I?" I am only half way through the book. (Maybe the answers are in the last chapters.) From what I have managed to understand from the first chapters, I have deduced that I shouldn't look inside myself for the answers. So if you have any idea who I am, just leave a comment.

Do you like me? Check YES or NO

Seems a little adolescent to me...

Homestar Runner

I am crossing things off my 'someday I'm going to try that' list. Today I sent in the registration for my first 5K race. Actually, the item on the list is to run a 5K, not just to register. So I am planning to run on September 8th. Alex and I are figuring out a way to make a homestar runner t-shirt for race day. I think just a red T with a big white star on the front will work. My support team should have matching shirts also. I will not wear a beanie with a propeller on top. I think I will look and feel silly enough without the beanie.

Tonight I crossed off two other things on my 'someday' list: 1. Eat at Primanti Bros. and 2. Go to Phipps Conservatory. 1. a Cheesesteak sandwich which was somewhat disappointing. 2. Chihuly Nights glass exhibit which was even better than I thought it would be.

Often the enjoyment of an event is indirectly proportional to the expectations I have for it.

On race day I expect I will cross the finish line. Hopefully I will still be on my feet. Otherwise I won't be able to cross it off the list.

Little Alex Sighted in NYC

Little Alex finally reaches the top of the steps at the Museum of Natural History in NYC.

Things Little Alex can do easily:

1. Hide in a diorama
2. Duck between people's legs
3. Get to first base on balls
4. Fit in the backseat when his sister goes back to college
5. Get carried to bed

The Incredible Shrinking Kid

Things Alex finds difficult to do when he is shrunken:


1. Deliver the Saturday newspapers.

2. See in the bathroom mirror to check if his face is clean.

3. Walk the dog.

4. Get in and out of the top bunk.

5. Climb steps.

Four Eminent Words I Don't Understand

Here are four words for my list. I will never be able to use these in any written form because I can not remember which means what and I have a hard time deciphering them even when they are in front of me. I will, however, use them often in the spoken form because they all sound relatively the same and have such divergent meanings that they will fit a lot of situations and if I use them fast enough, no one will notice. Their immanent value makes their emanantness imminent.

imminent--likely to occur at any moment

immanent--inherent, remaining within

emanant--issuing from or as if from a source

eminent--high in station, rank, or repute; renowned

I had an ulcer once.

The Panories Have Landed

Panory Fest 07 was a success.

The Bighead pinata was a hit (pun intended).

There were panory cupcakes aplenty.

A new camo panory was unveiled.

The only regret was that Gage was not here to celebrate.

Thanks to Dave and Abi for making this possible.

PanoryFest 07

The semi-first annual PanoryFest will be held here on Monday. It coincides with the first day of summer vacation. We are getting better at planning the panoryfest activities. This year we actually invited people with an interest in panories, and had them RSVP. We are also making the best Bighead pinata ever.
Alex's gifted teacher remarked at open house this year that these children will look back and be incredulous that they spent so many hours drawing 'these things'. I think, instead, that she will look back and be incredulous that she missed the magic of panories--their ability to spark the imagination of upper elementary age boys, the tremendous creativity involved in their creation, their power to unite a disparate band of 5th graders with little else in common except their need to belong somewhere and a nagging sense that they never will.
Long live the Panories!

What I Meant to Say

Closing remarks are difficult because they should reflect, build on , or sum up what preceded them. Thus, they can not be really formulated until the end. So here's what I should have said:

Who am I? In fact, who are any of us that the God who created the universe and rules the heavens and the earth would want to be in relationship with us?
I challenge each of us here to cultivate, nurture and enjoy the relationships we have. With our God. With our mothers and our children. With our girlfriends.
How blessed we are to have these relationships! Let's make the most of them. Let's make time for them.

Let's pray.

The Onset of Puberty ala Hemingway

"Do you want some pickles?"
"No."
"No? Who are you? And what have you done with Alex?"
"Maybe he has been transmogrified."
"Maybe I'm going through puberty, and my interests are changing."

"Oh, darling, darling."

Microphotographs and the Scoop on Poop

In the world of laboratory science there needs to be a distinction made between slides-thin glass rectangles which hold specimens under a microscope and slides-pictures of specimens which can be projected. Consequently, the latter are often referred to as kodachromes. (As in Mama, don't take my kodachromes away...)*

Here then is my first attempt at creating my own kodachromes. I have always wanted to have a collection of happy polys, and now I see this may indeed be possible. Sadly, my first kodachrome is not of white blood cells at all, but an iodine prep of an ova and parasite concentration. A negative one at that. Taken through the microscope with my digital camera. So this is really just a picture of poop.

But think of the possibilities...

*(Oddly enough this song begins with the words: When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school...)

Ms. Understanding

4. Why the dog feels threatened by the windshield wipers.

5. How I can gain 2.5 pounds in one weekend, but it takes 2.5 months to lose one pound.

6. Who really invented the world wide web.

Rat Runs

Dixie, our rat terrier, has this peculiar habit of running frantically back and forth. From the living room to the kitchen and back again. And again. And again.

She also collects sneakers in the living room. Most often one of a set, but given enough time, she will move every sneaker in the house into the living room.

Additionally, she hunts down dirty socks and eats them. Tonight she is exhibiting all three of these behaviors.

Most of the time she is happy to sleep in a crate and lie in the sun.

I don't understand her.

I love her.

Maybe I will start a new list of things I don't understand.

1. Rat runs

2. Electricity

3. Buying ringtones

Cross the Last One Off

Remember when I needed a day off, a dermatologist, and a dishwasher? Here is the update: The dermatologist: check. (This is a thing I should have blogged about, but I was in a blogging funk, and so lets just say 'check' for now, and leave it at that.) The day off: I was off today and I am off Friday and Saturday. Yeah and double check. And now, the moment I have been waiting for: the new dishwasher came today and it is installed and it works and it is quiet and it makes me happy. Check it out.

*happy little dance*

Okay, I am unable to post a pic of my new dishwasher :( This makes me a little sad, only because it will be more dificult for you to share my joy. Maybe seeing my great new dishwasher would make you jealous, and that is why I can't post it here. Maybe you can come and see it in person, and I will even let you run it.

When I finally get my new kitchen floor installed, there will be no living with me.

Promotion-The Easy Way

Today at work a co-worker turned in her resignation. Thus, with no effort on my own part, I climbed one step higher on the seniority list. Kind of like a promotion. When I explained it to Alex, he said it was like an episode of Star Trek, where assassination is an effective means of rank advancement. This opened some new ways of thinking. Alex naturally reminded Amanda that there is no benefit in assassinating someone with a lower rank than yourself. That, and the fact that this happened in a parallel universe, makes Alex feel pretty safe. Stasi and Abi, on the other hand, might have reason for concern.
There was no increase in compensation with my 'promotion'.

Additional Adverb Slated For Use Today

im·pede /ɪmˈpid/ [im-peed]
–verb (used with object), -ped·ed, -ped·ing.

to retard in movement or progress by means of obstacles or hindrances; obstruct; hinder.

[Origin: 1595–1605;
Related forms
im·ped·er, noun
im·ped·i·bil·i·ty /ɪmˌpidəˈbɪlɪti, -ˌpɛdə-/ [im-pee-duh-bil-i-tee, -ped-uh-] noun
im·ped·i·ble, adjective
im·ped·ing·ly, adverb

The actually use of this adverb in a sentence is progressing impedingly in my head.

Typing in the Dark

I am home from work and I am awake and I am at the computer and the dog is sleeping just inches from here and I do not want to wake her so I am typing in the dark and I am not very good at it. And there is something not quite right about it -- sitting at the computer typing at 1:00am in the dark trying not to wake anyone. Seems like I am visiting nasty websites, but all I am doing is checking on my girls who don't update very much. If I was knitting anything I would tell you about it, but I'm not. Tomorrow I will straighten up the house and buy ice cream and get ready to host our small group and lead the study. Nooma. Sunday. I wil have to think about this. I will have to be prepared. I will have to be awake, so I will have to go to bed now.
This is the most boring entry on my blog. I am going to post it anyway, to remind myself not to blog in the middle of the night.

Because, Just Because

A tale of two policemen...
Just because I am a nice person I agreed to go into work at 4:00am instead of 7:00am. Just because the bridge is out over the turnpike, I had to go the long way through North Park. Just because it was the middle of a very cold night and I was the only person on the road, and because my car can't really drive 15mph, I was going over the posted speed limit. And so one policeman came speeding. Because we were speeding, he put on his lights, and I pulled over, and he told me I was speeding. Just because it is difficult to clock someone speeding when you are also speeding, he just told me to stop speeding. I took his advice and drove on, very slowly.

Ah, yes, wasn't this a story of two policemen?
Chapter 2
Just because I am a nice person, I flashed my lights at the next car that was speeding towards me through North Park. Just because he was also a policeman (!), and evidently this is not a legal thing to do, he did a U-turn. Just because I was no longer speeding and it was too cold to pull me over to harrass me, he just followed me the rest of the way through the park.
Because I went to work at 4:00am, I got to leave early. I drove home a different way. Just because.

Ka-choo!

Oh, I Get It!

Turns out the spell checker window opens UNDER the page I am working on. So now I know that my head cold is not debilitating.

Head Cold Outside

Its like a before and after on Wheel of Fortune. I am suffering from a head cold which is extremely annoying, but not quite dibillatating . (Also, I can not seem to make the spell checker work on this page.) And it is absolutely frigid outside. On a brighter note the sun is shining and the snow world is really spectacular. After Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery and he worked his way up to second in command at Potiphar's place, God left him in an Egyptian prison for two years for something he not only didn't do, but he tried to avoid. Two years. I've had my head cold for two days and I am wondering what happened to God. Two years. Wow.

Meetings I Sat In

In the past week I have been to too many meetings. I had an IEP meeting with educational experts, a meeting with a random someone about my feelings, a meeting on church authority with a church conflict expert, a meeting with the principal and two teachers, and an Alliance Women's meeting. I am tired of meetings. Today I am going to meet with myself. At least I will agree with someone at the meeting.

Sliding Down a Mountain

Today I was sliding down the side of a slightly snow covered mountain. Only I wasn't on skis or a sled--I was in a Suzuki. And fortunately for all involved I wasn't driving. And fortunately for the driver I wasn't screaming like a banshee. And fortunately for all of us, God was in control all the time and the driver was in control some of the time and I lived to blog about it. Sometimes we need reminded that our troubles are small compared to what they could be. So tonight I am thankful I am not dead or worse. And I am thankful that someone practiced making doughnuts in the school parking lot many years ago.
Also, a side note: Ten years ago I was 38 and I thought I was old. I am a little scared about how old I might be 10 years from now.

Stripped and Barefoot

So I had this dream where I wasn't wearing any clothes (just a towel), and I was in church, and there was a wedding, and half of the choir and the bride fainted, and I drove home in a RV with 16 other people. Clearly I am stressed about church and a wedding, and maybe about not having enough clothes. (Perhaps I should go shopping.) God told Isaiah to walk aroung stripped and barefoot for three years just to make a point to some Egyptians. (See Isaiah 20) Thankfully, my experience was just one night in a dream. If it continues for three years, I will give up mango salsa before bed.

Virtue of the Month

Initiative: Seeing what needs to be done and doing it.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4